AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

What if the wife suffers from hayfever? And what if she's illiterate and can't tell what the card says?

Really inconsiderate to even think of doing this.

It felt like the least worst option, but I decided that safety of other highway users needed to come first. Just maybe I was in the wrong. And I was also worried that if I had continued to drive, noting that urban carriageways don’t have lay-bys, and my car was manifestly unsafe, would my insurance even have been valid?

the difference is a one-off for an emergency vs regular laziness.

OP didn’t ask for alternatives? I’d probably have pulled in to the side of the road as best I could, hard to know without knowing the area where it happened. I did break down in a busy road a few years back, which actually does have a few detached houses with driveways along it and it didn’t occur to me to pull into any of those. Mind you I also did say if I was the home owner in question I’d have been okay with it.

Personally I would have knocked and asked first.

I would have invited you in for a cuppa and a a biscuit. Takes all sorts I suppose…

You would have remained on the road then and caused an entire lane or the pavement/cycle lane to be blocked for possibly several hours? Go you.

I think you did the safest and most considerate thing in the circumstances @1hatchling1fledgling. Most people would have been completely fine with that, even if they were a bit miffed to start with before they knew the situation. It’s not as if you pulled in to eat a picnic or fix your hair.

I really do hope this is a joke.

Could the hypothetical person with pushchair/wheelchair not have got past by going into the giant drive to go around you if they'd needed to? It's possible that might also have annoyed the home owners but at least they would only be on their property for seconds rather than a car being stopped there for an undetermined amount of time, followed by an RAC van.

Personally I probably would have just stopped on the pavement, but equally wouldn't have been annoyed if you'd parked on my drive, particularly given you'd made the effort to explain.

I wouldn’t park up on their drive again to deliver flowers.

I’d either send flowers by post or write them a nice thank you note.

Yes. You’re right. I never thought of that. She probably got rid of all the pollen producing grass and trees to make room for the eight car drive

What??? I said if I was the homeowner I’d have been okay with it, but it’s not unreasonable for someone to be annoyed about a stranger bringing a breakdown on to their private property. So, no, I don’t carry even a singular pitchfork.

It certainly sounds like you took the most considerate option for society as a whole, but I will add that you have no idea what else was going on in that couples life that day, and that their reaction might not be just a consequence of your actions. I know I have been guilty of that. I recall some 20 years ago now having a go at woman whose dog, off the lead, had run into our front garden and started doing its business at the edge of the drive. At any other time I might have been curt, but polite. But that day my grandmother had died, my husband was coming out of HDU after a week in hospital and I was waiting for the imminent delivery of dialysis supplies for him as he was starting home dialysis the following week. And to top it off, yes she cleared up the animals mess, but then had the cheek to put it in our bin. Let’s just say it wasn’t my finest hour. Yes, she was absolutely and unequivocally rude and in the wrong. But she didn’t really deserve the anger she faced…though that’s the risk she took.

There is no single right answer to this. Frankly, if I had a huge drive way with acres of room, it wouldn't have bothered me at all. As a PP said, I would have offered you something to drink and a snack. The husband's reaction just makes me think he obviously feels he has to compensate for something - I suspect he has a tiny dick... Though as the more charitable PP said - you never know what people are going through. They may be going through something very painful and traumatic and therefore not have the wherewithal to deal with your situation.

You can if they're not a fucking prick about it!

You immediately apologised and explained, you weren’t blocking anything as their drive was so large and you were a totally non threatening person. There was absolutely no reason for them to be annoyed as you caused them no problem at all and you were in an emergency. What an evil cunt that man sounds. Society is truly broken. This cost them £0 and didn’t inconvenience them one single bit as the drive was so large. Horrible.

Reading some of the replies here I despair for society.

Yes, private is private. Yes, a person's property is their own and not for strangers. But sometimes a neighbour needs help- a glass of water on a hot day, borrow a phone for an emergency, a hand carrying shopping to their door etc etc. As a society, it's nice to think how we would want others to act in the situation and offer that kindness ourselves.

So yes, it's a private drive, and yes, you shouldn't go there, I also think you asking for help from a neighbour wasn't unreasonable. The man was very rude about it and clearly didn't have the grace that his wife showed. As others have said, thank god you're not married to him.

Reading some of the replies here I despair for society.

Indeed! Let's hope none of those 30% thinking the OP was unreasonable in her actions ever find themselves in need of some neighbourly assistance.

Breakdowns happen and people are inconvenienced all the time, one of the hazards of being a road user. Without knowing the area nobody apart from OP can say exactly what the options were. The fact remains that I don’t think the occupant was unreasonable to be annoyed about this. What I would have done in this situation is utterly irrelevant really!

Yes.

I live near Enfield in North London and had a physio appointment for my disabled husband.

There was nowhere to park so we knocked on the door of a house with a large driveway and asked if we could park on her drive for £5. She said it was fine and wouldn't even take the money.

And people say that Londoners are unfriendly.

“It felt very rude to pull into someone’s private property ”

That’s because it was rude. I would not have been pleased if it were my house. Rude husband is entitled to be rude on his own property. The size of the drive doesn’t make it OK to leave your car there.

Well I wasn’t measuring up their driveway in order to paint white lines was I. 8 cars could have parked without inconveniencing each other and more if you were having mates round and didn’t mind your own car being boxed in. The question still remains, what would you have done differently? Answer that and then be insulting!

But the inconvenience and imposition is the same (bearing in mind the occupancy of the property at the time… who’s to know who is putting their car there,why or for how long?)

We’re the people who regularly come home to people parked on our driveways for one reason or another, that we are expected to be ok with because it’s “just a one off”. Errr your exceptional circumstances mean my driveway usually has some CF parked across it 6 times a week.

and it’s a private driveway not a public access area for emergencies!