Aibu to ask if you would judge

[PforPaprika]

I know of a woman, she has 3 children to 3 different men, she has a new partner and was joking about having another one. Would you judge someone with 4 kids with 4 different men?

If you can’t see the difference (ie the one impacts the people involved, the other impacts the entire lives of the children) that seems quite strange.

I agree and I think that not enough is said about this. I bet it never even crosses the mind of many women.
I would never bring an unrelated male into the house with my beautiful teenage daughters either. Clearly asking for trouble. I remember my dad relating a conversation with one of his workmates who had teenage stepdaughters and was clearly turned on by them walking round the house in their knickers. My dad was horrified (which is why he told us) but it makes total sense if you think about it.

but it makes total sense if you think about it.
It only makes sense if he's a complete pervert. Obviously yes a lot of men would enjoy this but not all.

I'd wonder how on earth it all works, five parents circling around each other; I find it hard enough dealing with DH's first wife.

This. Are we now saying every man is a paedophile or hebiphile? How do you manage your teenage kids having female mates or girlfriends round if you know your husband is eyeing them up and getting turned on by them? What age do you assume your husbands start eyeing up your kids mates?

Yes.

Having sex and irresponsible procreation are not the same thing. Contraception is very effective but people who are careless about it like to try and convince the rest of us that it isn’t.

Yes I would. Because to keep introducing a new man to the existing children then a new baby then moving on to the next is not healthy for the children

I also judge men who have babies to all different women

people need to ensure they’re in stable relationships before they bring children into the world

now of course not every relationship lasts forever but 4 children by 4 men. There’s just no need

Did your dad tell the mother of the stepdaughters or did he keep quiet?

That man is a pervert not all men are that disgusting

Well the difference is actually not becoming pregnant and I'd say it's a rather hefty difference.

I think it would depend on the circumstances and how each of the dads fit into the lives of the different kids, including each how new partner fits in with the existing children.

My DH wouldn’t give a shit whatsoever! He’d probably say your DGM led a colourful life, quite different for the time and expectations for women, but so what, she’s not you etc.

This is very much a ‘me’ feeling of shame. I’ve never heard of anyone who has a DGM who defied the convention of the time (and to some extent today), and had multiple DC to
multiple men. I don’t actually care but I just don’t want other people knowing for fear of judgement I.e sins of the fathers visited on the children attitude (which I have experienced from the one and only friend I told many years ago).

It’s also a pity that while I have my DM’s birth father’s name and that of his DW and DC, my DM wanted nothing to do with any of them. I have been interested in family history for many years but respected my late DM’s wish to never contact them, so sadly that branch of the family stops with DM.