AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Thank you, yes the comments are a bit annoying because while I’ve certainly mislaid many things in my lifetime it simply isn’t the case here, I never even saw the ring on the table and then it was gone, all while DP was at work.

Did you get another ring that you loved?

This is honestly hilarious, thank you 🤩🤣

OP this was me a couple of months ago. We had carpet fitters in, my purse was on the kitchen table next to the cash I got out for them about half an hour earlier. After they left it was missing, I looked for 3 hours and went to the carpet shop to say I'm going to have to go to the police as there was no where else it could be.....on the way Home there it was in my car, I can't explain for the life of me how it got there.
Maybe it was them but maybe it wasn't, if it was they are never going to admit it so there's not much can ge done unfortunately.

True. Similar happened to me. I had a guy round working who although was recommended I didn't actually know him.
Stupidly left my engagement ring on the dressing table in my bedroom (he was working in the en suite bathroom) would have passed the dressing table each time going in and out the room.
Couple days after he left I realised my ring was missing. Searched high and low. Knew I hadn't been out since he left cos I had covid and it was when you had to isolate.
Obviously I considered asking him but had no proof and what's he going to say oh he's sorry I took it have it back.

Anyway the insurance paid out.

Continued to look high and low for it and even when I moved last year I didn't find it.
I know he took it.

Cost me a lot too - it was under insured.

I will never repeat that mistake.

But they (presumably) could access the hallway where the ring was placed in full view, otherwise neither of them would be under suspicion in the first place, surely?

Really silly to leave it there in these circs.

It was meant to be left overnight when they weren’t there, to be taken first thing in the morning. Yes he forgot to take it as he rushed out sleepily at 5.30 a.m. but he didn’t just leave it lying around carelessly, it was never meant to be there during the day.

But he didn’t. He forgot, despite its obvious value - both sentimental and financial. This is an expensive mistake which he will have to chalk up to experience.

Foolish even to leave it there overnight, TBH. Place it in the bag you plan to take with you the next day, in as secure a place in that bag as possible.

Based on the cctv footage, I’d call the police. Let them decide if they should go to his home or see if he’s flogged it online.

How common?

Has he searched around where it was originally hidden? Maybe he forgot it in the morning because it wasn’t there

What do you mean based on the CCTV footage? It clearly shows something not the size of a ring box under his shirt, as OP suggested it could have been a can of pop

I would speak to the police. My daughter's cleaner took her engagement ring. The police went and spoke to her even without any evidence. It is worth a try. Bob must know the guy's address or contact details. The photo you have on the 'ring' with something clearly under his t-shirt will help.

Yes because we all go around hiding a can of pop under our t-shirts.

Maybe he was using the can to conceal the box behind it. Maybe he has a criminal conviction for a similar offence, maybe he’s listed it on his eBay account. The police can investigate these things.
It’s worth reporting.

I would mention it to Bob and tell him you will also report it to the police. You might not have the evidence it was stolen but that doesn’t mean you can’t report your suspicion.

Great advice, I’d do this.

I did once tell a workmen to put roof slates back in my garden - but I saw him put them in his van and when he turned around he saw me looking at him. In this case you do not know what has happened.

But obviously we all hide stolen ring boxes under our shirt 🙄

You haven’t got a pet duck have you?
(Any other Friends fans wondering this?!)

So I would definitely consider trying some pawnbrokers. Sounds completely bonkers but I had some stuff nicked, as did a friend and we got most of it back from a local pawnbroker. We found it there and then the police went and collected it from the pawnshop and we were able to use that as leverage to get them to raid the person's home where the majority of the rest of the stuff was recovered.

That's so passive aggressive. Just ask have you seen it . Keep an eye out would be enough

That on in a bag marked swag.

Picture does look sus
Agree with your idea of casually asking Bob

But I don't understand why you aren't going to your nearest city and checking jewellers and pawn shops. If my new engagement ring was potentially stolen, I'd be doing everything I could to recover that exact one. Even if it was insured.

That photo of him holding something under his shirt is definitely sus! I would be looking at any other stuff that may have gone. It would be easy to explain he was “just using the loo”’if discovered.

also wanted to mention - have you searched behind whatever the ring was in? DP may have forgotten it but his jacket could have brushed it down the back of a cabinet or into some nearby shoes. Worth checking.

Ridiculous statement. Do you realise that if you were to sell a pice of jewellery to a legit jeweller, you would only get about 25% of its retail value,even less if you pawned it

Because it’s a major city with hundreds if not thousands of such places, I have a small baby, my partner works long hours and I have no idea where the guy lives.. I’ll try to find that out from Bob