AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Your husband left a ring, in a box , on a table with a stranger working at the property with access to the property and no camera pointing at the table.

And you categorise husband as switched on and not forgetful

This is husbands fault

You don't know it was stolen, have no proof. This is down to husband imo

Edit apologies, partner not husband

Biker Bob will ask Light Fingers Fred if he stole the ring. LFF will say no, I'm suing you for defamation. Who said that anyway, oh that Ms. Marooney, I'll sue her too. I didn't steal anything. How dare you accuse me of theft. Go to the police and report it. I'm clear. Now bugger off Bob and tell Mrs M that she has a nerve accusing me of theft with no proof.

Maybe your DP has monies issues and has
pawned and blamed the builders. Maybe he’s got cold feet about the wedding and things losing the engagement ring will delay things. There are other possibilities than lost or stolen

I would also thoroughly double check your DP's van, pockets etc. Could be he mindlessly picked it up.

The point is the lack of evidence.. I never said I was going to claim on insurance but if I was it would be for loss not theft as there is no evidence any crime has been committed, a fact I am well aware of but which doesn’t diminish my conviction that it was them. I know I can’t accuse without proof and also know that the police would not waste their time on this. If you’re so annoyed why not try another thread 🤗

If you reported to the police you’d get a crime number which would then be used for the insurance. The police likely wouldn’t even investigate even if you had evidence to be honest.

You have two options:

You accept it’s probably lost, and report it lost to insurance.

You are convinced it’s stolen and go to the police.

First though I would be turning the entire house and van upside down

100% this. It's farcical that the OP is soooo adamant that it couldn't POSSIBLY be her partner who is responsible for the 'missing engagement ring!' Oh no, it HAS to be one of the builders. Even posting a photograph of one of them saying 'see, it's under his t-shirt!!!' (With no proof he has the ring! If you are so convinced he has the ring under his shirt in that photo, then why are you not reporting it to the police and showing them this photo?!)

I'm done. The OP is determined that she is right, and I CBA to keep arguing with her, and being called 'daft' at every turn, and told to leave the thread, purely for saying there is a 'small' chance she could be wrong!

Hope you find your ring @Marooney but I'm done with you now.

.

Never accuse anyone without any proof DM used to say.She was certain that her engagement ring had been lifted by a guy doing the fence. Luckily she followed her own advice and didnt confront him .Several months later (after convincing herself the dog must have eaten it WTF! checking his output) ! Found it in the garden on the ground!

That photo looks like a hand holding a square box to me.

Very annoying OP and a reminder to always lock valuables away (inc devices) when trades or anyone else for that matter are on the property. I am going through a refurb now and everything is in my safe, which is in a locked cupboard. If I didn't have a safe, I would hide somewhere else.

All my neighbour's gold jewellery was taken while having plasterers in - she gave them keys and went away for a few days (complete strangers!) - but it couldn't be proved and the police didn't take it further.

I presume you have pulled out the table in the hallway?

That’s your evidence for the police then, surely?

Seeing as you won’t report it stolen or confront them I don’t know what the purpose of this thread even was, unless you just wanted people to say “oh yes, horrible workmen!”

I said that the photo was clearly not of the ring box 🤣

Whatever it is is much bigger than the ring box

I don't know who has it. You don't know. If they didn't take it, they don't know. I would be very wary of confronting anyone without proof.

Yes, your best bet is to mention "before I trawl through my CCTV footage" - as you say, they don't know where exactly your cameras are recording. Similar once happened to me, and I said something about looking through my camera footage, and lo and behold, the item magically reappeared. I didn't have any CCTV. It was a bluff.

This isnt America 😂! People dont casually sue people like this, especially casual - cash - in - hand labourers who probably want to keep a very low profile.

OP should absolutely ask Bob if he or casual worker has seen it. It could spur the return of the ring, or not, but there is no harm in trying. The photo is suspicious and she has nothing to lose, but a lot to gain.
My workplace used casual labourers to help with an office move, loading and unloading vans. They stole the petty cash tin with almost a thousand pounds in! People do it..

I do want to confront them but can’t come out with a direct accusation with no proof. I was wondering if people agreed with my idea of bluffing that we had footage of the inside entrance or had any better suggestions. I’m certainly not here to slag off anyone in the trades as that includes DP!

edited to add, I don’t think a pic of someone with a bulge under their shirt that’s not the size of the item in question is going to be taken seriously by police, it’s just sus to me

Posters saying it wouldn’t be the tradesman it’s more than their job is worth are bloody deluded. If it’s a 10 grand ring and they do a bit of labouring for Bob, well yeah it IS more than his job is worth and it’s a great pay day for him and can just never answer Bob’s calls again.

I had a plumber steal a box with gold jewellery in. A necklace, few rings. Probs worth £800 in a high street gold shop. Like you, I think it was the plumbers mate. It was hidden in a knicker drawer and I didn’t notice for months. But it was definitely them.

A friend of mine had a team of builders renovating their house in central London. That morning my friend had taken out 10k in cash and hidden it in a mug to give the builder who was a friend for his latest instalment of work. It was a huge project. One of his labourers made a tea for the lads and legged it never to be seen again with the 10k. He wasn’t from the UK so I imagine hopped straight on a flight back home. Would have taken him months and months to earn that so yeah in a lot of these cases it is more than their job is worth.

You have to speak to Bob. Tell him your suspicions. Tell him how awkward this is. Say if you get the ring back no more questions will be asked but you will go to the Police with the footage you have. I wouldn’t divulge the footage to him.

I think you will have to write this off. No point in accusing anyone now. That photo shows nothing.

DH messed up by leaving it out when he knew you had unlocked doors during the day. Anyone could have come in and stolen it in theory.

TBH no dafter than leaving a really expensive item in full view while a total stranger has full access to your property.

Too late to add to my original post - but wanted to say, can you claim for it on house insurance?

I had no idea it was there! DP took it from where it was hidden in our bedroom to take to the jewellers, unfortunately left without picking it up, that was a mistake yes, and then came home to find it gone. They didn’t have full access to the house

This ^

As I said upthread.

Imo this is DPs drama/fault. He needs to suck it up, learn the lesson, buy a new ring

Years ago my engagement ring went missing. We had builders in at the time. I believed it was one of them that took it. Like you say no proof, difficult to prove, not able to claim on insurance as house not secured properly with builders in and out. I asked the head builder, his assistant was there at the time if they saw it. They said no. Assistant said the kitchen fitter had been in briefly that day, I asked if he had been upstairs, they both agreed not. They suggested that our children had probably lost it. I felt awful not knowing what happened to it. Years later the builder had come back to fix something. He confessed that his assistant had been caught stealing on another build. He had taken a new phone and pawned it, but it had tracking on it so he was caught out. It was really helpful to know this as I had driven myself mad looking for it over the years. It gave me some peace to have the certainty that it had been stolen. The builder was so upset, his business never really recovered, he had equipment stolen and scratch cards which he thought his stepson had taken. Dreadful business. I really feel for you.

So many people commenting to say you guys have mislaid it just adding to how awful you must feel.

Maybe as loss rather than theft yes, I’ll look into it