AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

I was wrong again. I thought DH was a joiner :-)

Only joking.

Although I am sure Sherlock would deduce something from the scissors that appear to have been used to cut a tag off something, and the tag left on the scissors.

Impatience perhaps that a tag is being cut off as soon as someone is in the door. Or forgetfulness, because someone has left the house wearing a garment with tag attached, so rush home to cut it off.

I go with the latter. Because the drawer is ajar. Suggests scissors retrieved in a rush, cut tab off, and rush out the door without putting scissors back.

FFS 🤦‍♀️

Yes it’s absolutely ridiculous! She wasn’t rooting though, she was just looking in the cupboard for the rug detergent. She didn’t notice it was a ring box apparently. I mean there can hardly be any nefarious motive behind it can there? I was pissed off but honestly she’s so nice, just quite scatty I think. I often don’t find items I need every day (cereal, baby bibs etc) until a few days after she’s left. If I tidied immaculately before she came I suppose it wouldn’t happen so it’s the price I pay.

Maybe OP should stop waxing lyrical about her DH and his amazing memory? It’s not true!

He himself? No idea if he’s decided that he’s Mr Memory man!

Could you google it? They’re great for rugs, curtains and sofas - recommend!

I said he had a good visual memory, which he does! He can’t remember the names of most of my friends, but he’s kind to them so it’s ok

The point is though, when you were both looking for it and retracing steps, he surely would/should have said “I put it on the ledge next to xyz” or “I put it on the ledge, where are xyz, have you moved them?” … you would have then probably found the ring so much sooner!

Funnily enough he won’t touch carpentry, hates even putting shelves up (probably because I stand over him with the level). This awful Ikea combo is my doing, I’m going to have to raise the cabinet off the chest to stop this clutter vs. door nonsense. You were right the first time about the tag.

How though?! Firstly I don’t think about/remember my daily ferrying of small items around the place so I might easily have thought I had moved the other stuff myself. And even if not - it wouldn’t have led me to the cleaner! The rug detergent wasn’t in that cabinet so we would have had no clues as to a motive for clearing the ledge.

Because surely, you would then have looked further in the surrounding area, also knowing other bits were not there? That’s just common sense. It would have led to you looking in places there you wouldn’t ordinarily look in.

Well the cupboard where she put it was nowhere near, not even in the same room 🤣 But also I don’t think I’d assume that the ring was necessarily near other things that were missing, if they were just bits and bobs, unless the culprit was a strong gust of wind which did occur to me. I checked the surrounding floor, shoe rack etc. very thoroughly several times. But in general if I was hunting for, say, receipts as well as the ring, that wouldn’t have changed the search area I don’t think. Still, lots of speculation on everyone’s part.. I’m surprised this has been of so much interest!

So the cleaner swept up a few items, took them to another room and put them in a random other box? Wow.

My only continued interest is because you insist your dh is infallible 😉 Although you have changed your stance in that respect somewhat.

Again, I’m happy you’ve found the ring 😊

Ah ha. See, things can be worked out from photos. And there I was getting piled on because I was examining the photos you posted.

:-)

Thank you 🤗
I’ve never once said or implied he was infallible. I said I trusted completely that he hadn’t wandered off with it/ put it in his pocket/ lost it in his van/ pawned it etc.
I always absolutely believed he put it there and that he had an accurate memory of doing so.. and he did. Anything else I’ve supposedly said about him has been invented by other posters!

The cleaner loves having things out of sight and there was nowhere she could put the little tray of things in the room- the cabinet in question is rammed full of bottles and she clearly didn’t find the drawers of tools suitable 🤣

I wouldn’t describe it as nefarious, but it’s rude and really unhelpful to let yourself into someone’s house when you aren’t expected, take stuff without letting them know you were coming, move their belongings onto a box in a cupboard in another room and not tell them any of this or that you even came/had taken the device.

Very odd that your doorbell didn’t pick her up at all as well. It’s not scatty, it’s really inconsiderate.

I have to laugh, and disagree .. you pretty much implied a long way through that your dh was infallible 😁 Anyway, I’ll bid you good day, I’m glad this all had a happy ending.

A complete aside to the ring itself, but to get better WiFi connection for your doorbell, install a mesh system. Dead simple to set up and will avoid gaps in camera coverage. Netgear is good and available on Amazon 😉

Glad you found it, but I do feel really sorry for the poor bloke you were maligning for umpteen posts!

That’s not really the case though is it, if you click on my replies you’ll see there are 8 pages of them and by page 2 I had changed my
mind about him taking it

I'm glad you found your ring but honestly, your cleaner sounds like a PITA who makes your life harder.

Any chance we could get a TL:DR? I’m invested but also time poor 😂

Definitely. Strange behaviour. Surely if you saw a ring box (with ring inside) you wouldn’t just dump it into a box of other stuff, you’d put it to one side and say where it was to you. And you were thinking it was the builders OP definitely so don’t go saying you weren’t now.

Glad it turned up for bobs mates sake
no amount of back peddling will change the fact you were convinced it was him It wasn’t a casual ask it was a full on accusation

Thank you! My mind is at ease now 🤣😊

She comes into my home as a paid employee yes, not when she feels like it and without my knowledge - until now.

As far as you know!