AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Ha, good question- probably didn’t take it out of the van and that was my wrong assumption, I see him with it when he’s replacing/removing tools etc but probably not every day!

So the ring box could have been in his pocket and then subsequently fell out?

He doesn’t put anything in his pocket to leave the house as it’s uncomfortable to drive and he’d have to get it out anyway so he gets into the van carrying things and they go straight to the glovebox.

In any case if it was in his pocket he wouldn’t have remembered 10 mins after leaving the house that he didn’t have it, as it would either be sticking into his thigh or he’d have just removed it to put in the glovebox

I appreciate that you know your partner and we don’t and you obviously believe him when he says it was there in the morning (but he forgot it) and that it wasn’t there later on but you seem to be totally adverse to even consider that he might be mistaken.
From what Bob has said, it sounds unlikely that it was the workman but you’d prefer to now think it was some random off the street (in your quiet cul-de-sac) that has for some reason, entered your house (even though it’s clear that the builders were there) and just happened upon a lovely ring just sat there waiting to be stolen. Really? And yet you won’t even contemplate questioning whether your partner’s recollection is correct. Bonkers.
Our doorkey went missing once. DH was absolutely adamant that he knew where he’d last seen it blah, blah, blah. I spent the day feeling awful (after we’d had to have a new lock fitted), only for DH to later find it in a random jacket pocket. I had no reason to doubt him either but this goes to show that I should have doubted him! He was absolutely certain that his version of invents were 100% accurate.
My point is, you would be very naive to dismiss your partner’s (accidental I’m sure) involvement here without even considering it.

My glovebox has a habit of chucking things down the back of it when it's overfull, is that a possibility?

We have both considered it, we’re not idiotic, we’ve been through his thought process, what he was doing, when he did it, what the plan was etc and he remembers everything in detail and he is never mistaken about this kind of thing.. people here are taking me to be saying he’s an infallible human which is far from the case but I do trust him that he put it where he says and it’s pointless going round and round on this. We have however both looked thoroughly in many other places.

The box is too chunky! But we’ve also seen on the camera footage that he didn’t leave the house with it

Rubbish, my parents have a place in southern Spain and the only people you see vaping are the Brits. Yes you can get them but in very few places and they are very expensive, the locals still smoke cigarettes.

Some of the replies on here are wild. No one can be sure one of the workmen didn’t take it. If you think all workman aren’t capable of stealing you are very naive.
That said, you don’t know for certain if or who has taken it so of course you can’t accuse someone. I think you approached Bob in the correct manner. It would be daft to not ask him! Could someone else have approached your front door and taken it?

Thanks for that.

But the plot thickens, because DH does not have a toolbelt on, nor does he have a phone in his hands.

Is that cargo pants he is wearing ? Is that something in his pocket ? But if so then the bulge should be lower, just out of frame.

Difficult to tell with the low res. But it is not in his hand I agree. Not that one anyway.

This is a proper Sherlock thread.

There are vape shops all over Spain. But to be fair, a pack of cigarettes is cheaper or similar price over there so maybe that's why local vape use is low, but it's catching on fast. Ask my smoker MIL how I know this.....

No idea where your ring is OP, but I have to say that assistant guy is filthy. I would have thought if he'd entered the sliding doors to your living room he'd have left either prints or dirt somewhere along his route.

Many years ago I lost my eternity ring. I know I had it in the house but when I wanted to wear it next I couldn't find it anywhere.

We looked all over and eventually our insurers paid out.

We have redecorated every room in the house since then, including flooring and have never found it.

He wasn't doing a beauty treatment for the client.

DP confronted a tradey when an expensive item of my jewellery went missing. Where it was hidden was somewhere he didn't need to access. We knew it was him who'd stolen it, as I'd checked if it was there before and after he'd been.

His excuse was that as the property was very old, he thought it had been hidden there for years, and left by a previous owner 🙄, even though we'd had every inch of the house renovated, and would've found anything hidden away.

He brought it back. But, to add insult to injury, he was actually someone we'd known for years.

He’s never mistaken …… until he is.

Ask Bob if he's seen it (and to ask his assistant too). You don't need to say where it was, but that you're going out of your mind that it's disappeared. That way you're not actually accusing anyone of theft. It also gives the thief (if there is one) an opportunity to 'find' it.

Yes she is. The ring doorbell picture gives it away with the time and date format.

Ha, I love your sleuthing. Yeah it seems I was mistaken about the tool belt and it only makes it out of the van sometimes. His phone and wallet are in a belt clip thing on his other side, see pic

Well no point arguing with me! I'm only going on what she's said!
She's repeated that she's not in the UK.

And his phone/lunch/water.

He appears to have nothing. Suggests 2 trips to the van ?

OP has said the cam can miss things.

Excuse me? What format do you think is used in Europe? 😂

His phone is on his belt, other side, see newest pic. He buys lunch out and his water is in his office/shop plus an emergency bottle in the van. There are often several trips to the van but not that day- it’s all recorded on the camera

The job is finished and we spoke to Bob

The ring camera doesn't cover the other door or the interior so the workmen can't 100% be excluded by that method.