AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

The time to check the pawn shops was days ago. OP is too busy dithering about on here to get onto speaking to the suspect or his boss in a timely manner, and her DH too vague to notice he has misplaced or lost the ring or to mention it to her until far too much time has passed.

Really, the only hope is one or other of you finds it elsewhere in the house as it never made it to the ledge.

It's a Friends reference 😁Ross' engagement ring goes missing on his stag night, he blames the stripper because who else could it be?!
Turns out the duck's swallowed it 😁

I absolutely love Anne of Green Gables, not seen or read it for years. Thanks for the past blast, had forgotten that storyline! ♥️

None of this adds up.

Why would he leave the ring in its box on the table by the front door to take out with him? Why didn’t he just put it in his bag so he knew he wouldn’t forget it?

Could he have had a change of heart and returned it?

😂😂😂

I don't see the point of bringing it up. Are you expecting one of them to break down crying and confess?
If it's any comfort, I once was positive that a workman had stolen my watch. No question in my mind. A year later, I found it.

This!

I've been so sure of things like this in the past only to find I've put it somewhere daft.

That suggested text is perfect.

Ring doorbell earning its name.

After reading most of this thread and your response about what you said to Bob, and his answers, I'm afraid I think your partner lost it. Or possibly had to return it due to money difficulties that you're not aware of? Think about it - have you left your handbag/purse/ cash lying around or hanging in the hallway? Surely, anyone stealing would take that rather than an identifiable item that you might find in a local jewellers or pawn shop? It just seems a bit odd that this is the only thing of value that's gone missing.

I honestly think the mistake lies with DP. I think he 'thinks' he did something with the ring, but actually did something else with it, and it'll likely turn up. He 'was in a hurry', forgot to take it, hmm.

Trouble is, if it turns out the efficient and wholly innocent DP has done something daft, the OP is never going to come back on here and say so! 😉

Why would he just pop into to your house looking to steal something when you could possibly have security cameras inside.

When I read your post, I straight away thought your DH has money problems (which you’re not privy to). I read all your posts, at no point I thought the workers took it.
Your front door is protected by a ring camera. You would have seen it.
You mentioned leaving the sliding doors open, a thief will not head to the front of a house/hallway to steal what exactly? shoes? coats, or umbrella?! ridiculous
You state knowing your husband very well. Even if you have been 100 years married and living with a person, you will not know them fully.
I had a cleaner. She was truly amazing! I lost £500 that I had in my wardrobe.
I was raging. Called the police (yes, I did. Shame on me!!) They took finger prints on my wallet. Nothing!
I confronted my cleaner (yes, shame on me!!!) obviously lost her! guess what..
months later, whilst clearing up some stuff, I found my £500 not in my wallet but hidden iny beats headphones case!!!
My DH borrowed £5000 unbeknown to me as he had a bad few months. Our lifestyle did not change. He was acting normal and never told me. I found out a year later, I saw a bank statement of the repayment to this friend. I was livide that DH didn’t tell me but I also discovered another side to my DH which was completely new to me.
How many women were married to man who turned out to cross dress, or bisexual or guy after their marriage.
So, drop the attitude and fully search your house and question your husband’s finance!

RTFT, it’s not her. It’s not any of the, frankly weird, and nefarious reasons why her husband to be might have accidentally lost it. HE HAS NOT LOST IT. He is very organised, and will never in his whole fucking life lose stuff. Also, it’s not Bob or his mate, the ring has just gone? It has just fucking gone. There is literally no other explanation than aliens took the fucking ring.
Apologies OP, you just have to move on

Weird take… I was on here asking for suggestions whilst waiting for Bob to arrive on his last day, as you could have seen from my updates we spoke to him when he came. DP isn’t vague at all which is why I know he left it where he said. I’m much vaguer than him but in this case the ring box never touched my hands

This sounds a good idea- feel for you OP, what an awful situation!

Haha! No. He doesn’t have a bag as such, he has a tool belt and a thing that clips onto his belt for phone and wallet, box wouldn’t fit in there. The ring was going to go directly to his van’s glove compartment.
Do you honestly know men who would propose after several years together and then a week later have such a strong change of heart that they’d return the ring and frame the builder? This is so extraordinary to me.

The question to Bob should have been did you see anyone go in or out of the house? If the doors were unlocked any sneak thief could have walked in. I've heard of it happening but never known anyone have that kind of theft.

My neighbours did have theft from a workman but they couldn't prove it. The house was done over when they left workman in it and the guy claimed to have been in a downstairs room he should not have been in with the door shut so didn't see anything.

I think you’re the one who’s not read any of it very well to be honest. Do you think aliens have taken it? I don’t..

Might not just be about the money though, an engagement ring is also special for sentimental reasons

You’re right. I don’t actually think aliens have taken it. Mainly because I don’t think aliens exist.
However, as above. It’s not you, it’s not your fiancé, it’s not Bob and it’s not Bob’s mate.
IIt is therefore a dilemma, and I always blame a dilemma that we cannot solve on aliens!
Mate, I so wish the ring will turn up. As an engagement ring, I do understand. I actually really do. Good luck

Oh gosh OP this does look very suspicious....it must be sickening trusting someone to come into your home and then having your important possessions stolen.
I feel alot of people are playing down the impact of what has happened and the emotional impact for you!

No But neither do I know many people who would leave a valuable item on display next to an unlocked front door with workmen’ having access to the property while he was out, and then not bother to tell you that said item had disappeared for nearly 48 hours.

Why was he taking the ring back to the jewelers?

You said it wasn’t for sizing, you had no idea he had taken the ring, you’d gone for nearly three days without even looking at it. And then out of nowhere he tells you that it’s gone missing because he left it lying around.

You said your DP has an excellent memory but clearly this isn’t true.

He forgot to pick up the ring on his way out.

He didn’t think when he remembered ten minutes later to call you and say “I was going to take the ring to the jeweller today but left it on the ledge, you might want to put it back,”

he either forgot or didn’t think to pick it up on his way back into the house when he got home.

And then he forgot to even mention it to you until the next day.

Even if the workman had taken it, I would be fucking fuming at him that he has such casual disregard for something which is apparently so precious that he’s waited for years to give it to you, and has then essentially tossed it away with no thought.

If after years together my partner proposed and had given me a ring, even if i couldn’t wear it for whatever reason, I would feel the need to at least go and look at it on a regular basis. But you didn’t. You didn’t even know he’d moved it. You didn’t even know it had gone.

I presume it wasn’t actually a very expensive one or you’re so loaded that your DP can treat it with such little regard.

Obviously you’ll of damaged bob’s relationship with his friend
doubt he’ll work with him again
let’s hope your right if not you basically got somebody sacked with zero proof