AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

Truly not, but people on here seem to think they know him better than I do. In fact if he had done that he’d go straight to the shop and buy another one, not try to cast suspicion on a builder who came on his recommendation

Jesus all to fuck, it's another thread where a high percentage cannot READ.

OP hope your ring is found/returned/can claim for loss. You've done the right thing by asking Bob, with everything else you've thought of.

There are some sensible, level headed people who have responded, just read those ones 😉

You're not in the UK?
What are the police like in your country with this sort of thing?
Also, do pawnbrokers have a different system?

Without any proof I think you need to let it go. You are going to have to apologise to Bob when it is obvious you don't have camera proof.

Report to police to get a crime number and claim on insurance (if they let you when you left home unlocked!)

I've been there twice when items have gone missing with tradesmen in the house. The first it was money and clearly them and we did directly confront them and tell them we expected it returned and we had an embarrassing apology from the culprit - a grown man in his 50s in tears in my living room, I completely ignored his tears and told him exactly what I thought of him.

The second time was less definite so we let it go, but we don't leave tradesmen with access to the house alone anymore. dh is a tradesman himself and trustworthy, which I suspect most are as it is their livelihoods, so was horrified they did this to us.

You are guilty of suspecting the worker of theft without knowing anything about him either. Aren't you?

I wouldn’t mention a thing but would leave a dummy ring under surveillance in the same place and go out a lot…

Don’t ask me how I know this works but I did get the original back after a tense weeks wait.

This thread is mental. Why are people so convinced it’s the dh? Surely you wouldn’t go around accusing people if you knew you’d lost it. Some really silly people on this thread who seem hell bent on sticking the boot into the OP who has made a very reasonable assumption based on a) the facts and b) her knowledge of her own dh. She knows she has no evidence so she can’t contact the police but it is still unsettling.

This thread proves that people will literally be contrary towards the op no matter what the topic is.

Yes, purely because of logic. No one else has been in the house, DP was out when it disappeared and I wasn’t even aware it was there. We don’t have animals and probably no poltergeists. It’s logic… however I did not accuse anyone, we asked Bob about his assistant and said why, and that was the whole conversation really

A bit random....but there is no chance that you put a bag (handbag/nappy bag) on that table and whilst sorting through things just randomly along with other bits chucked it in the bag without even noticing?

I may or may not be speaking from experience.

Thank you @BeesAndCrumpets and @dollydog5 yes it’s baffling, no reading skills and everyone knows my DP better than me 🤣

Sadly no, it’s not really a table, more of a ledge. Nothing else fits on it

I don’t think we need to apologise to Bob, we didn’t accuse him, we simply asked about his colleague and accepted what he said

Great idea!

So did you check the place the ring was hidden originally incase DP forgot to get the ring out in the first place?

Exactly. I love the comments pointing out to OP, who has posted about not having any proof, that SHE HAS NO PROOOOOOF.

Honestly sometimes I really despair of the critical faculties of people!

As you say, best advice is, if someone clearly hasn't read or understood OP's posts, that you just roll your eyes and scroll past them OP... they have nothing to contribute.

If he was visibly shocked, defending his friend, clearly mortified, and asking you to review the camera footage you said you had to prove their innocence , then you must have strongly implied it.

That man will have went home tonight worried about this job and his reputation.

In my view, deliberately lying in a way intended to upset or manipulate someone calls for an apology. If you hold a different standard 🤷‍♀️

Your DH perhaps forgot it in the morning because it was already gone? Do you lock the door overnight?

Nightmare op. Someone else has probably suggested this, but have you checked your indoor footage regardless? It might show someone where they shouldn't be.

I would explain you can't find it and where it was In a casual 'have you seen it' kind of way and give them the chance to return it potentially (without explicitly saying that ). Best chance you have of getting it back is for them to know you know and potentially return it

This is the U.K. what happened would be considered burglary. So yes, you can call non emergency and they generally come out within an hour. Review cctv, take statements and issue a crime reference which is needed to file any insurance claims.

Op I haven't read the whole thread but the same thing happened to me 10 years ago.
We had workman switching out our boiler. My jewellery box was on the bedroom window sill with my engagement ring in. One of the lads was bleeding rhe radiator and that evening when I went to l put my ring back on it was gone.
The next day 2 of the 3 guys returned without the one who had been in my room. My husband raised it with the two there and they had their boss call.
He was very apologetic. Said the lad hadn't shown up for work today, that he'd hired him on good faith as an ex young offender. Assisted with providing the police his address.
Police never attended. Our insurance paid out and I got a replacement but it was heartbreaking

Is it insured?

She's not in the UK.

Ah that’s tough on you @Feis123
Who do you think took it ?

Definitely holding something under the shirt here and who holds a drink under their tshirt?

Sorry but I think Bob doesn't know his friend is a kleptomaniac.