AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

So the image shows your partner leaving empty handed? Did he pick it up, then put it elsewhere and forgot?

Did you see it on the table yourself before DP left?

Congrats on ending someone’s career over a baseless accusation because you don’t want to admit your DP has lost the ring

The police won’t do anything unless you have evidence e.g. you’ve seen them or it’s on camera. I went through something similar and knew who it was as she was the only person who had access to the house. It was shut down by the police.

Also, OP pawnbrokers do not have to send the police lists of newly acquired items. Can you imagine?
They have to take ID of people selling so that they have a record of where the items came from.

I think you should take the photo down. Someone might recognise this individual from his clothing.

OP doesn’t care. She thinks a picture of him gripping a tool belt is enough to determine he’s stolen the ring! Despite nothing else being missing or her having any suspicion of anything else missing. She’s just perfectly happy to lead a pile on.

Eh?? No one’s career is ended, didn’t you read what I said?

I don’t know what happened to the ring but it definitely wasn’t lost by DP as he wasn’t at home when it disappeared!

He very obviously took it with him and lost it but doesn’t want to admit it.

Unless you have absolute proof you cannot accuse someone of theft.

But why would he carry a drink like that?

I agree it’s the right size but it’s not how you’d carry one.

Exactly. You asked in a nice way. Certainly Bob didn't do it. Its normally really obvious if someone is lying.

I think it will turn up somewhere really odd

This is quite mad. Reading comprehension on this thread at an all-time low. It’s not a tool belt, he was holding a drink under his shirt as I suspected was a possibility. No one is being identified or losing their job. I can assure you that 0% of these people’s acquaintances even know what Mumsnet is nor speak English, we are not in the UK.

Cooling his bare belly in the heat...

It is a really odd way to carry a drink even in hot weather.

To cool himself down, I’ve done it myself which is why I thought it might be that!

Think about this logically.
The workman and assistant won’t know who comes into your house or not. They would be absolutely stupid to nick something when there was a possibility that nobody ever came into the house thus making them prime suspects. If you had different teams of people in at the same time- that’s different. The electrician could blame the plumber, the plumber blame the plasterer etc.
It Is far too risky for them in this particular situation to pinch something where their reputation via social media and reviews could be in absolute tatters.
loads of us have stories where we were absolutely convinced we had left something somewhere but actually it was elsewhere.

We got burgled once when we had just had workmen in for the last day, having been at home during the course of the work, but were out the night of the burglary. I think having work done attracts attention from dodgy types whose antennae look for security lapses. They were probably in our house for 15 minutes max.

I mean insurance is for lost items too

my mums friend had a £300,000 ring. (It was ugly!)

she lost it and claimed it on insurance.

I'd be more inclined to think your partner misplaced / lost it but doesn't want to admit it.

“Very obviously”? Amazing the comments people make on mumsnet whilst not knowing anything at all about the person. He absolutely did not lose it 🤣 Sorry for you if your loved ones behave like that but def not DP’s style

All you can do is check every inch of your home, all of DH's pockets of any clothing he'd been wearing since you gave him the ring and if it doesn't show up, you accept that you and DH were very careless but worse things happen in life.

Worse things happen yes. I don’t think I was careless in this instance as I had no idea the ring was even there.

Would it have fitted in your fiances pocket? Might he have put it in there whilst up early? Or was the box too big for that? Check the pathway and area around the van?

Going out without securing you home is careless.