AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

It's incredible what some people think the police will investigate . Yes we've had some ott responses to social media posts but generally they cba to investigate actual witnessed burglaries so I doubt a lost ring would be of any remote interest.

Maybe ‘Hubble’ is proposing to someone else

Indeed. The police didn't even come when our neighbours had 2 cars stolen.
They arrive and question all the workmen when the item could just turn up? No.

Yes. The Police come round very swiftly if someone says something slightly out of place on social media....one woman actually went to jail eith mo previous convictions......

They can actually read the posts though.
There is no evidence of theft.

The problem is, they are never going to admit to it. Unless you have proof, you'll get nowhere. Have you checked on floor etc. I'm not sure why you'd leave it lying around. Surely, you'd take it to the jewellers yourself for adjusting as they'd need.to measure your finger.

This happened to me. Having work done in the garden a year ago and two guys (one the gardening firm owner) were in and out to use the loo in my bathroom where the engagement ring was. Realised it was missing an hour after they’d finished and alerted the guy in charge. He searched his mate’s rucksack and found it in a tin where he kept his weed. Agree you can’t prove anything but you have nothing to lose by speaking to the guy in charge - and may just get your ring back. Good luck.

Odd question - do you have cats ?!

Right, do tell us where you have searched so far. Everywhere in the house, on the pathway to the van, inside the van (forensically 😊) DPs pockets, bags whatever he uses, your bags, bedside locker, bathroom shelf and most of all the rubbish bin, then the ground outside his first stop of the day in his van and so on. Did you both share this type of thorough search? Great if you did, at least you did your best to find it.

That picture - hmmm, the man could have a colostomy bag/stoma and it could be very embarrassing to ask him what's under his Tshirt. But I think it's a trick of the light myself.

Anyway, back to the thorough search, is it all done now? Everywhere?

Not saying she didn’t take it, and it’s not the point of the thread, but a friend of mine recently told me she had to work with a woman one day (not her usual colleague) who had exactly the same very unusual special coloured phone cover as her and they both kept picking each other’s phones up all day long. If you were about to leave, you might pick up the phone assuming it’s yours (since it’s such an unusual colour) and not check the screen picture as you just think it’s yours.

no suggestions from me but please come back with part 2 when you accuse 2 men of theft without proof...now that will be entertaining...

If you think it was the assistant could you mention it to Bob and show him
the pic/video and ask him to contact the lad to say you have video evidence ( a slight exaggeration but even so) and see what happens, it might panic him into thinking
you have CCTV or the like.

Do you truly think people behave like this? Baffling 🤣

haha and it was the mistresses ring all along

I did clearly state in the OP I wasn’t going to do this so I’m afraid you’ll have to look for your entertainment elsewhere :)

I never said anything about adjusting the size?

I think you’ve cracked it! It’s all been a hoax. We didn’t even need our patio working on, he got the men in to deflect attention from the fact he regretted proposing to me and is currently wedding planning with a new fiancée. I’ve been so blind.

I wouldn't trust a fella to be in charge of an engagement ring full stop. They haven't a clue about jewellery. You could have brought it to the shop yourself and explained exactly what adjustment was needed. Men wouldn't know. The more I think of it, it sounds odd that DP would be in charge of a woman's engagement ring and the adjustments. But maybe it's just the men I KNOW ha ha.

People are nuts on this thread. I believe you @Marooney

I remember when I had a kitchen fitter come round to quote, he tried to talk me into going on holiday for a month whilst he did the job - not a fucking chance.

Nah, he pawned it to take his fancy woman on a super date obviously, or he's a gambling/drug addict. Bloody men eh 🙄

Or it could be a box (maybe lunch box) in which the ring box is hidden. It looks shifty ....

It shows nothing.

And me. But, you can’t just accuse people anyway. Just claim from your home insurance.

Right, Bob has come back to finish up and we’ve talked to him. He was visibly shocked and says he’s been friends with the guy for 25 years and he’s very honourable and shy and never even steps into people's homes when working outside, it’s true neither of them asked to use the loo or for water or tools or anything (I did offer). He actually looked mortified but insisted it couldn’t have been his friend, and urged us several times to check our (non-existent) indoor camera footage. I made up an excuse about having to download it from the cloud etc. so he still thinks we’ll be able to confirm who it was at some point. Honestly he was very convincing and we don’t know what to think. I showed him the photo and he laughed and said “that’s a drink” as I suspected it could be.

Just for good measure we did thoroughly search DP’s van and it’s definitely not there, we also looked at the footage of DP leaving for work that day and he was empty-handed.

To everyone insisting DP lost it, he wasn’t at home during the time between leaving it on the table and returning to see it gone so he simply couldn’t have, despite being a fallible human.

The police are not going to be remotely interested but I might report it anyway as apparently pawn brokers have to send police daily lists of their new items so they can check them off against stolen goods.

I explained what basic thing needed doing and he works next to the jewellers whilst I am at home 45 minutes away with a baby, so it made sense. He’s quite capable of understanding and relaying instructions!