Why might this person have bruises ?

[0livesandcheese]

If you saw that someone had bruises on her upper arms would you ask about them? I am concerned but I also know that she enjoys quite a liberal sex life. I don’t know exactly what she participates in but have an idea that she is quite experimental. Could it be that it’s from this or would you be concerned? I haven’t said anything before and this is the third time I’ve noticed bruises. Please don’t attack me if I’m getting this wrong, just asking for advice aibu

im asking if I should ignore and let her be. Or say something

If someone I knew well/cared about was covered in bruises I would definitely ask “oh gosh, what have you done to your arms?”

Why would it be from sex? How is that your first thought? Maybe she’s on blood thinners. Maybe she has a bleeding disorder. Maybe she’s really clumsy. Maybe she’s being hurt…

Without asking directly, there’s no way to tell.

My upper arms (and legs but you can’t see them) are covered in bruises. I bruise very easily and work in a supermarket doing stock which means lifting etc.

What is your interest in this person and why are you suspicious of their sex life? There must be more to this.

I bruise so easily, I nearly always have bruises on my arms and legs, 99% of them I have no idea how they got there!

As family members train in martial arts and get bruised I would probably think it was that, or like me she’s permanently walking into things (I’m very clumsy)

Could she be on blood thinning injections? I bruised so easily when I was on them, my toddler gave me a massive purple hand print bruise on my arm trying to pull himself up on me! I bruised so easily for months after. I would ask gently, 'I've noticed you've got a few bruises on your arm, are
you okay?' No harm in asking.

Ok the bruises look like they could be marks from someone holding her down, one on each side on her upper arms. Not covered in bruises. It may have nothing to do with sex but I am worried to ask in case nobody is hurting her and it’s just the rough sex stuff

It doesn’t look like the bumping into things kind of bruises purely because it’s the same on each side

I work in a specialist school. We always have bruises and worry what people might think. Do you know what she does for a living?

What is your relationship with this person, are you happy to just ask them, you know about their sex life so guess you're pretty close

Me too, I’m always covered in bruises and couldn’t tell you where from!

Has she attempted to hide the bruises?

Ok it’s a friend. She does not have a job or hobby that would mean she had bruises on her upper arms. Would it be acceptable to ask?

I don’t know. The weather was hot and she had a T-shirt on this time so no but it would be hard to wear long sleeves in this weather

Yes, I'd just say oh that looks sore, is everything OK or be a bit lighthearted.

Of course it would, if it's nothing to be concerned about it won't phase her and if it is you'll probably have your answer by her reaction

If you know someone well enough to know about their sex life, you certainly know them well enough to ask about their welfare.

I would probably word it differently, asking is everything OK kind of implies you think someone purposely did it to her, I would just say "ouch, what happened your arms" as if you don't assume it's more sinister

If it's like thumb mark bruises on front of arms it's from sex

Yeah, you ask what happened. That's such a normal thing to do when you notice someone has an injury. I don't know why you're dwelling on it, if you want to know what happened ask her.

Because I don’t want to embarrass her if it’s just sex bruises

Yes kind of like this but also could be someone holding someone and shouting at them if you know what I mean

Does she have a dog? I have a food obsessed dog who gets very excited at breakfast and teatime and bounces on me like I'm a trampoline. I had to explain the bruises to my physiotherapist yesterday!

Oh really? She does have a dog