Why might this person have bruises ?

[0livesandcheese]

If you saw that someone had bruises on her upper arms would you ask about them? I am concerned but I also know that she enjoys quite a liberal sex life. I don’t know exactly what she participates in but have an idea that she is quite experimental. Could it be that it’s from this or would you be concerned? I haven’t said anything before and this is the third time I’ve noticed bruises. Please don’t attack me if I’m getting this wrong, just asking for advice aibu

Does she play sports? When I played a lot of sports I always had bruises on my arms

I'm covered in bruises and scrapes most of the time. Sometimes have a black eye, a limp or finger grab marks on my arms. Once or twice a year I have a cracked bone or a concussion or similar.

I do a martial art so it's expected. I am careful to tell people though so DP doesn't get accused of beating me!

I bruise easily. I also used to do ju jitsu

I was a victim of DV.

The only bruises on show were from ju jitsu, the ones from DV were not on show.

I would ask your friend but I would not push it.

If she was in a long-term relationship with someone, then you might have cause for concern, but if she's enjoying casual sex with a few different men, it's not like she's trapped in an abusive situation she can't escape from. It's a very different scenario from someone living with an abusive partner that they're in love with and/or can't escape from. It's far, far easier to walk away from someone who is harming you if you're not in a relationship with them and have other partners.

FWIW I regularly have bruises on my thighs, which bruise easily. Some of them are from sex. Some of them are from workouts, gardening and the corner of my kitchen table.

Many years ago I was a victim of domestic violence. I never, ever had bruises on my arms and legs from that. The only time I had any marks that anyone would have seen were when I was hit in the face. Other than that, my injuries were things like cracked ribs and broken fingers, not bruises on my arms and legs.

I bruise easily and always have. I regularly get bruises and have no idea how I got them. I have had a few people make comments and never take offence. Mainly they just say on you have been the wars or a similar comment.

I have actually remembered someone at work once asking if I’d been fighting when I had a black eye. I was embarrassed about how it happened and made something up which sounded like a lie and so then he obviously thought I had been fighting! 😬

My upper arms are covered in small bruises from insulin injections - just the front and sides rarely the back

I am clumsy AF and bruise really easily, which is a very poor combination. I always have corking bruises on my arms and legs, and a few times DP has been given funny looks if I’ve had on a short sleeved top or whatever. I literally walk into things in our home that are static (we’ve lived here 10 years) and am constantly bashing my hips off desks at work (teaching).

Blood thinners.

Since the doctor put me on them I bruise like a peach, and sometimes in places that are impossible to bang/knock.

could it be a contact sport? It sounds exactly like roller derby!! Teammates often hold their pals in place while someone pushed them from behind. My wall often leave handprint bruises on each other!

I currently have bruises ob the tops of both my arms and on both of my lower arms just above the wrists. It's from kettlebell training but looks like i've been grabbed violently! If it was a friend I would ask though!

I always have massive bruises but I’m in a BDSM relationship. My choice.

I bruise easily and get asked about them if they show. On the rare occasion that there’s a reason I’d rather not discuss, I’ve covered up. If she’s not hiding them, it’s not unreasonable to ask. But be prepared that some people get off on talking about their sex life, and the conversation could be far more uncomfortable for you than for her.

That said, she wouldn’t be the first person to mistake sexual liberation with abuse, so I’d probably ask anyway.

I remember my mum having a black eye and saying the baby hit her with a rattle (which was true) no one believed her and thought my dad had hit her, much to her embarrassment.

I’m covered in bruises on my arms. No one has ever assaulted me.

Thin skin and blood thinners are a bad combination. 🤷‍♀️

Everyone is giving 1000 reasons people have bruises. And they all exist. But so does domestic violence. Just because you're a kickboxer on bloodthinners, doesn't mean someone else isn't. OP should make her mind up. Not be convinced it's nothing when it could be something.

Some people bruise like a peach (me included!) If you are concerned maybe just ask her but try and not make that big a deal of it, something like ‘oh my goodness look at these bruises are you ok’ and see what she says, there could be loads of reasons for them.

I will ask next time I see anything

Same. Everyday brings a comment of "where the fuck has THAT come from" when I get dressed. I currently have a very large one on my outer thigh that I have absolutely no idea about. It wasn't there yesterday.

And there you go
Kinky brusies.
Just ask already.

I have bloody evil door handles , I’m hurrying up to do things I get horrible bumps and bruises on upper arms .
i really want to change each and every pigging door handle when I have spare £
I also have a dog that when he’s getting himself comfy , he’ll stomp about on my thighs ..then sit on my lap .
But if you feel you have a close enough relationship to ask , then ask her

I think this is for the best, OP. If it is (consensual) sex-related, you can acknowledge and move on. If it’s not, you’ll have shown her that you’re someone who she can turn to if she needs to.

My upper arms, legs, back, bum and generally everywhere bar my head, feet hands and lower arms are riddled with bruises. Im about as vanilla as they come: I just bruise really really easily. Some people bruise easier than others.

“I really don’t mean to pry, and tell me to shut up if you like, but I can’t help noticing that you’ve had bruises on your arms a few times. I’m just concerned in case that’s a sign of something bad happening. If you need to talk, I’m listening.”

I have asked my mum that question.
It is up to you. Maybe she’ll tell you, maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll lie, maybe she’ll tell the truth.
Nobody here knows. What’s the point in speculation?
Honestly, it’s really weird to be afraid to comment because they “might be from sex.” I don’t think it’s common to have bruises from consensual sex. Unless by “liberal” you mean you know she is into bdsm or something (in which case you know her well enough to express genuine concern surely), or have some other reason to think she is being abused, I can’t understand why your mind has gone here.
Weird thread.