Why might this person have bruises ?

[0livesandcheese]

If you saw that someone had bruises on her upper arms would you ask about them? I am concerned but I also know that she enjoys quite a liberal sex life. I don’t know exactly what she participates in but have an idea that she is quite experimental. Could it be that it’s from this or would you be concerned? I haven’t said anything before and this is the third time I’ve noticed bruises. Please don’t attack me if I’m getting this wrong, just asking for advice aibu

I don't see why it's wierd to ask. I would think it's weirder to see them and not ask. Hey you've lots of bruises, did you know they were there?

To be honest I don't really get what you expect the outcome to be. If she is being abused then she knows it and is allowing it to happen for whatever reason. You asking about a bruise isn't going to make her suddenly realise. She will probably lie to you anyway in that case. I just feel it's very unlikely she will break down and confide in you. I also find it strange that that's where your mind went straight away, people get bruises for lots of reasons. I feel there must be other concerns regarding her behaviour that make you think DV is an issue.

Not always. I've had those bruises from sex, but I've also had the same type of bruises from being grabbed and thrown across a room by my violent (ex) husband.

If they're friends, she should really ask, just to check she's ok.

I've had similar marks from martial arts, as well as bruised forearms also from martial arts and kettlebell training. I do sometimes wonder if people assume it's something else!

Just ask her.

Low iron levels cause easy bruising!

I would say that too

Definitely ask in a 'omg what happened?' way. Her reaction will tell you if you need to worry.

I bruise very easily and have experienced people asking me before where I got them and if everything is ok and it’s made me feel uncomfortable and not believed as I protest that everything is fine, really!

You seem to know a lot of details about her sex life so she's clearly not embarrassed

I would expect this if she’s a Kendo practitioner (although that’s usually the wrists)…

Pets, medical conditions and yes (potentially) consensual sex would come to my mind as well. But I would definitely ask a close friend if I saw these kinds of bruises.