To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

I was in the supermarket once and buying a box of beer. I was looking for the bar code to scan when a random little man at the end of the aisle shouted out 'make sure you have the right beer' and ran off, literally. I said what was that and he came back, repeated it, and ran off.

Not all men but always a man.

I particularly enjoyed a man beckoning me forward and turning his arms like a steering wheel to try ‘help’ me drive the other day. As I finished the manoeuvre perfectly give by myself whilst ignoring him he said ‘there you are’ 🙄

in the last few years when some nobhead tries to talk to me I have responded (loudly) “I don’t owe you conversation”

they look fucking confused when I say that

I often get told to cheer up. I’m a generally happy little soul but I evidently have ‘testing sad face’ so get told to smile a lot, or ‘cheer up it might never happen’ and I always think that one day these blokes (because not once has it been a woman who has said this) will say it to someone who has just lost a loved one or been given an awful diagnosis. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

"Sorry I don't have any change" to any un-asked for bullshit they come out with.

And those types of men never seem to make similar comments to other men either!

I am not sure why but if you waggle your little finger at them they get a bit annoyed.

I sell second hand school PE kit at our school welcome back coffee morning after £2 per piece .. they cost £10 new. The money we raise goes to plant things in the school garden and we also have a tree planting project with a nearby communal forest (not UK).. I get all sorts of stupid comments..

I don't have chance (we take cards).. will you take Bitcoin?
I donated the outgrown kit, can I just take one in the right size, you will be all square then.
Can I take it home and see if it fits and pay later?
What are you doing with the money, are you keeping it for a party?

I also host a secondhand sale.. registration required, direct to seller payments but we check the transactions.. 15 people, mostly men, turned up on the day saying they didn't know they had to register.. despite knowing the date and time of the sale. I point out that it is unreasonable to expect that 80 sellers turn up in the space of 30 minutes and expect to be registered. One man (who also expected to register as a seller on the day) got quite shirty with me when I asked to check his transactions on the way out.. he had somewhere important he needed to be. I invited him to leave the bag and come back to check the transactions later...

There are many many people who say thank you, some women who are awkward and some men who also help! One teacher (male) tried to take the most helpful male and get him to help with the pond... I said no.. our children need to see men folding clothes and women using shovels.

Grrrr.. that was therapeutic... this is the last year I will be doing this as I have decided to sit the last year of my kids education on the sidelines instead of serving people.

??? Yikes... what did I say.. did I swear?? Absolutely no idea!

It's not just face to face, either. Local ĺFacebook groups/Nextdoor are a mecca for this type of man. One post l particularly remember was one where a young woman asked for recommendations for driving instructors who taught in automatic cars. A straightforward question requiring a straightforward answer l would have thought. Oh, no. The local know-alls and "comedians" - all men of course - came out in force before anyone else could provide a sensible answer. "If you can't learn to drive in a proper car, you shouldn't be allowed on the roads at all" was the general calibre of the completely uncalled for and unasked for comments, although their command of the English language was generally much poorer.

You win the trophy for most bizarre take on how to excuse dickhead blokes.

I thought they should try to help. Last time I was struggling with something heavy in town I was very lucky as a couple of different men helped me at different points. I happily accepted!

One of the delivery man that was showing up regularly always had something to say to me about always wearing my headphones or not letting the dog run out. Or my favourite one why are you not out in the sun ? Even though I have told him a million times I am working from home. He is so odd, I stopped answering the door and let him put the parcels in the back garden..he used to hold onto the parcels until we had had some sort of exchange . Not any more ! Not fully in the spirit of this thread but worth a mention

I must be so used to these comments I just respond cheerfully. Suppose I'm used to it as am under 4ft 11ins and have a massive gentle dog. I've had the breed for 12 years and still get men teling me how to look after him.

I don’t know what’s going on with them at the minute. I went for my Asda click and collect and there was a queue to get into the lanes to get your shopping. Joined the queue. Some man drove right to the front and went into the parking space beside the lanes and started waving his phone in the workers face. At least 2 other men got out of cars behind me doing the same, trying to bunk the queue. I got near the front and was close to the guy who bunked car and the worker asked who was there first and I said “Me, he’s just drove round all these waiting cars” and the guy tutted at me! Really wound me up.

I can remember being 12 and load of men - not boys - yelling all sorts at me from a car.
I was like a string bean. Flat chest, no bum. Hair in a plait.
And I will never forget my mum saying…
God that’s happened earlier than I thought.
Then I got a talk when we got home - it was early 80’s.

I have an autoimmune disease. A doctor was discussing treatment with me and with a stupid grin on his face asked me if I was pregnant because of the harm to a fetus. I was 72 yrs. old. I told him I was hoping for a miracle but not that one.

Awful. I had that exact comment directed at me during a time when my mother was very ill, which was hurtful enough - can’t imagine how you must have felt

Same. Walking to school in my uniform. I was so embarrassed and didn’t tell my parents as I thought I had done something to cause it.

I had an arse hole of a man shout at me “ watch that hole” when I was walking & at the same time talking to sister about my elderly Dad who’d had a fall and had just been taken into hospital .
Unfortunately I couldn’t think of anything suitably scathing to say to him so just called him a knob !”

This.
Not all men, but always men
Same as on Facebook.. people ask for advice or post info on the community pages, men rushing on to make witty comments while most women respond properly

Should have said “ talking on my mobile”

Some Drs can be awful! My elderly father has experienced some dreadful comments especially from higher up consultants. Very arrogant

I don't understand and three people have said it was funny now so clearly I'm missing something. Not being shitty, genuinely want you to explain it.

God, what a twat. Baffles me how some men can be such idiots.