To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

Unsolicited comments are by definition rude.

I didn’t get past trying to pick up a barbecue from the PO. Just pay for delivery!

Anyway, the phrase is: “thanks random man”.

Never make small talk with men you don't know.

If they talk to you, just ignore them like you don't even notice them.

Does this actually work though in making them feel small? If I thought so I’d definitely use it, but tbh it doesn’t feel to me like a particularly sick burn. And I’d rather not thank these twats even sarcastically (not confident they will perceive the sarcasm…)

I had a large bag of puppy kibble, along with my arm in a cast at the checkout till when a man said to me, "Have you got a puppy? You should really get a grown up rescue dog in this day and age." I said, "No its my new diet, and thats how I broke my arm - chasing the postman." Shut him up!

My mum once said "I hate old men on the bus who think they're funny". I can't remember what had happened but it shows they've always been amongst us! I find a hard stare works well.

Arseholes the lot of 'em. :o)

I hate this.

was on an over night ferry, with no sleep, went to get a coffee not long before docking and some idiot man felt the need to tell me “you look like I feel”

You are my hero 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This sort of thing gets right on my nerves. My go to answer to this sort of nonsense is “I don’t know how you expect me to respond to that!” Only once have I deviated from my go to, when I was taking my pet rabbits for a walk on leads in my local park. A jogger stopped me and said “did you know that there are rabbits attached to the end of your leads?” I couldn’t stop myself from saying “oh shit! What the hell has happened ti my dogs?!”. I don’t think he was expecting that! Made me laugh though!

I don’t know why but random men rarely approach me these days. Maybe I have resting bitch face. I do ignore any smart comments though.

I was literally about to post this but you beat me to it! Cracking film.

Did he say"should have nicked it"?

That's brilliant! Did he have his nanny with him, the prick?

YANBU at all but those idiots aren't worth the energy anger uses.

My brother’s parents in law have him as their MP the lucky lucky people. They have to grudgingly admit he helped them once (something to do with a passport). Years ago I worked in central government and a colleague said they passed him in the street most days and he looked exactly like you’d think (Slytherin like).

I'm not a Rees-Mogg fan but I did like when he was being lambasted on HIGNFY (I think) and Ian Hislop (I think) was laughing at him and said 'Is it true you went canvassing in your Rolls with your nanny?' and he said very smoothly; 'No.... It was in my Bentley'.

I thought well done him.

My toddler son needed a wee now and I was discreetly directing him to do it against a tree - I was holding his penis and three men (they didn't appear to know each other) stood and gawped and said things like 'Could you do that for me, darling?'

@shutityouduffer
Am willing to bet for most of these fine specimens the women in their lives are long suffering, if they do exist at all and all us ladies are meant to be thrilled as they assume we are as grateful as they are....

He's a creepy dude.

It’s a bit annoying but YABU to “rage” about it

JFC, men are absolutely fucking gross.

The only thing I can think of about the kicking is that ninjas are experts in karate I think?
It's not called for and sometimes I wish we had mute buttons for these incidents.
It's like they can't help it.

I have 2 DC and pregnant with my third, whenever I’m out on my own with them someone, usually an older man, will helpfully comment “got your hands full there love!” gosh I hadn’t noticed thanks so much for the unique observation.

We have a funny Y shaped junction near the top of our road. The left part of the Y is one way as you drive up the road. The amount of times drivers- always male-have driven down it the wrong way, coming towards me head on is unbelievable.
And I don't move for them. No way. They can come at me head on and be bumper to bumper with me, but I don't give a shit. If anything happens I've got a dashcam. And my car is 35 years old so their lovely cars will look worse than mine with dents in.....