To get wound up by random men making stupid, rude comments when I’m visibly struggling in public?

[shutityouduffer]

This gets me so fuming. Name changed.

Today I have no car with me. I have to collect something from the post office as it’s needed for a family holiday, we’re setting off early tomorrow. For reference it’s a tabletop barbecue. It said on the John Lewis website it was 12kg and I thought I’d be ok to pick it up myself.

I get the parcel and it’s massive, i cant get my arms around it, and turns out the gross weight of the package is over 20kg. iThe post office is only a 10-min walk from mine, so I pick it up and attempt to carry it, awkwardly and in 25 degree weather.

Now this bbq has “SHARKNINJA” written on the side of the box. A man walks past, can see I’m struggling. He chooses to say, very loudly at me, “SHARK NINJA.” I say yes, trying to move past him. He then turns to his mate and says “I should’ve kicked it.” Wtf???? it doesn’t even make sense - what goes through this man’s head?

Another incident last week - I’m walking my golden retriever, he’s a puppy not yet neutered, but dogs on both sides of the road take exception to him and start barking at him (happens a lot with unneutered males) so I whisk him out into the road to avoid both sets of dogs. No traffic. He’s a softy and he paws at me, because he’s stressed (he wants to be picked up for reference). Man on the pavement shouts, again with a mate, “are you sure you can handle that dog?” As I’m trying to get him safely back onto the pavement. Again what is the point??? I don’t even acknowledge it and then his mate shouts after me, “he was only joking!”

AIBU to be sent into a rage by these stupid comments? I should say a couple of (different) men offered to help with the package and were very kind, so I have no general vendetta against men. But it’s never women making unasked for, unhelpful and rude comments when I’m already visibly stressed out…

Added to this, those who clap your parking, 'You did well to get that into there love" was once said to me as I got out of the car. When I said There's lots of space, would you have struggled?; he looked quite offended.

OMGosh that's horrific.

I'm so sorry you had to hear that ❤️

I think he said he should have kicked it as their a real life ninja shark in it.

Not exactly joke of the year. But another little gem from were just having a larf brigade.

As my mother used to say. Don't mock the afflicted. Its a shame for them. Poor things.

👎🥳📢

I've worked in male dominated jobs for years and have learnt to come back with remarks to mug them off in a witty way but put them in their place. I love to see their reactions 😂 but then I am quite blunt so don't get offended by their idiotic comments. It's hard to sometimes think on the spot though. I don't no what goes through their heads tbh

Something similar happened to me too. Insensitive oafs, why do they do it?

Yes I’ve had this before and it really fucking pisses me off. I often think “you’re lucky I’m not a bloke because I’d cave your fucking head in mate”. Horrible I know, but when you’ve had shit over and over for years… it does build up.

Once got a rouge comment when I was with my dad and they definitely did not know that scary looking bloke was my dad. It was very satisfying seeing them shit themselves when he kicked off I’m not going to lie 😭.

It’s because they are so funny and clever OP 🙄

(would have taken a cab with that BBQ sounds like a nightmare trying to carry it especially in this heat).

I perfectly understand this upsets you but maybe you should try and grow a thicker skin? The "I should 've kicked it" obviously refers to the ninja stuff, completely unasked for, but what if you had answered "please don't kick it but if you could help me carry it that would make you a real hero" ? And yes, I used to be a woossy, but developing a spine hasn't hurt me 😊

I got "cheer up love, it might never happen" 20 minutes after I'd heard my grandad died. I went ballistic at the bloke. Bloody men.

I call them cheerbleeders

A few years ago I turned around on a canal towpath for return leg of a six-mile run and man I had passed just before the midway point said "you didn't go far" when I passed him again - condescending and wrong!

Dont get me started on men who comment when you’re jogging

do they shout “come on love” to men who run? No. No they do not

Oh do FO dear

Ive had this when stopped sorting an issue with my car. I was outside driver door but had to stoop and reach in to look for a release button. Not sure if my bum was actually on display (don’t think it was) but my bent over arse was visible to the road (i was in a car park next to it). The amount of horn peeps (jeering really) I got as cars drove on past, instead of realising I was sorting something or needing help. It was a rural area, cars don’t peep routinely at that bit. But it was oh so funny seeing a woman struggling unglamorously.

Did he just mansplain misogyny

Does that still happen to you though? I'm also female and the same height and it happened all the time when i was teens/20s but hasn't happened for years now.

I had to drive up a short street, reverse, go back down it and then park on a corner in a slightly awkward angle. Long story but it was to pick up my daughter who was waiting for fish and chips. Lots of Boomer type men waiting outside the fish shop, they commented at every stage of my driving. In the end, I did a kind of running commentary very loudly, along the lines of ‘whoah, this is great fun, being observed on every element of my driving, best day of my life, etc etc’
They stopped.

That’s made me LOL!

O got told to ‘cheer up love it might never happen!’ I stared at them and said ‘My father passed away last night. Any other stupid comments you want to make?’ Seriously what had my face got to do with them?

I live in a new build estate and often there is work going on. One morning I asked if it was ok to walk across a covering at a site entrance. The workie said ‘well unless you can fly’ then seemed to think he was hilarious. I just walking bemused. Then every fucking morning he’d make an ‘oooh’ sound and waggle his fingers and stand on tiptoe like he was levitating. I started walking the long way as my withering looks had no effect and it was every fucking day!!!! Then one day he did it front of a much younger co -worker who said ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ As he explained the younger guy just said ‘that’s cringey as hell mate!’ which did stop it.

then one morning I went out and ‘levitation man’ was helping another guy tape off an area and it was raining. He had to comment ‘why don’t you have a hood or brolly? I know you ladies don’t usually like to get your hair wet!’ I stopped and said ‘you ladies? Are you usually so sexist or is today a special occasion!’ As I walked away I just spat the word ‘Prick!’ I am ND and find ‘banter’ confusing and upsetting. Why did he have to ruin every morning? Just shut up!!!

Ninjas do martial arts like kick boxing. A shark one would be pretty dangerous and might need taking down. Not the funniest of jokes, but a harmless one.

A girl I used to work with, mind you she could handle herself and I understand that not everyone has the confidence to carry it off (and neither should anyone have to btw) but she got cat-called when walking past a building site by one neanderthal male who called out, "Come on luv, show us yer t**s!"

Ally marched straight over to him and, in front of his mates, said, "Sure! No problem. Show me what you've got first!........Come on......Don't be shy.......Get it out.......Let's have a look!.......It must be something special.......Phwoaaarrr!"

The moron just stood there, humiliated and not knowing what to say.

She went on. "Awww,.......Is it a liddle biddy dinky one?.......Doesn't want to come out in front of all your fwends?"

The guy was crimson when she finished of with, "Smile darlin'.......It might never happen!", befor walking away.

But yes, it's 2026 and no female should have to put up with shit like this. It shames us all.

uabu.....for not telling them to fuck off

My youngest is autistic and irrationally afraid of jumping black dogs he is also almost the same size as me and FAST bloke let's his dog on a long lead approach ds i put myself in between dog and ds and prepare to grab him (occasionally he is ok walking past) he jumps I grab im struggling to stop him diving into traffic man with dog is more concerned with berating me for raising a dog hater and wanting to murder his dog apparently he is more concerned about having his say than pulling his dog away from ds lady walks past MOVE YOUR DOG AWAY he turned to berate her i got ds away safely

yes im aware he should be taught to like dogs and the thing is he DOES like dogs he has even helped walk a dog a black dog at that! He is unpredictable and there is not a lot that we can do

I must look really unapproachable as I don't seem to get these unsolicited comments.😂