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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think hierarchy doesn't work at work?

187 replies

Scarlettjune · 26/05/2026 22:27

I have a boss that is currently making my life a misery. She is very hierarchal and she wants me to see her as above me in status. She micro manages constantly. I have had a couple of bosses like her before and it always made the workplace extremely miserable. Hierarchy leaves workplaces open to abuse of power

The best bosses I ever had were the ones that saw themselves as being on the same level as the rest of us. I remember one great boss who said "I'm th same as the rest of you guys I just have different work responsbilities". We all worked really well with hk,

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2026 10:56

A verbal warning by email?

OnGoldenPond · 27/05/2026 10:56

Scarlettjune · 26/05/2026 23:56

She also overly watches people on CCTV. Like she will rewind it back and watch what we did the day before. Someone else compained about this, that it was not correct use of cctv, and she told me that in response to that -my manager just stopped speaking to her for a week.

i think I would take it as a win if that particular manager stopped talking to me for a week! Grin

Judevalentine · 27/05/2026 10:57

pontipinemum · 27/05/2026 09:29

If it is destroying you then you are right to look for a new job. I've had two jobs that were killing me. I stayed in 1 for way too long and the impact on my MH was profound

This!

Paganpentacle · 27/05/2026 10:57

Theres a whole world of difference between and manager and a leader.

Ultimately... if they are your boss- they are responsible for you, your output and your general ability to perform.They answer to those above them.
So.. yep. They are 'above' you jn that sense... they take the rap if you dont perform

Dollysleftnip · 27/05/2026 11:27

Most businesses do not require a “leader” they need doers to get on with the job

Scarlettjune · 27/05/2026 11:35

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2026 10:56

A verbal warning by email?

Yes! She was working from home at the time, she works from home some days. She could have used a phone, but she prefers email for everything.
When I looked at our handbook about it later, it looks like she should have given it to me face to face and given me a right to tell my side.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 27/05/2026 12:34

TENNISGRANNY · 27/05/2026 08:34

What sector do you work in? Your manager sounds unhinged and may be abusing her position.

Work in the tech sector, it's all flat hierarchies as there can be no innovation and growth in a hierarchical organisation.

Bollocks is it flat hierarchy. It can be prone to bad management, too, because people get promoted because they're at their technical role which is mostly very different skills from managing people, and people often don't get offered structured training to develop those skills.

You need a role with clearly defined responsibilities and a manager who trusts you to get on with those responsibilities, listens when there are problems or , works with you all to make things better.

igelkott2026 · 27/05/2026 12:38

Notmyreality · 26/05/2026 22:51

The best bosses/leaders are those who are confident and competent enough that they don’t need to remind everyone they are the boss every 5 mins.

Military is different. You need to follow orders or people die. It’s that simple.

Edited

Yes this. I had a micromanaging boss from hell about 12 years ago. It generally betrays a lack of self-esteem as well trust.

JustGiveMeReason · 27/05/2026 12:53

Scarlettjune · 27/05/2026 00:12

One of my friends killed herself after being bullied at work by a manager. I never understood at the time why she didn't just leave.

Now I have a terrible manager myself, I understand her. She was broken down mentally. It's like a abusive relationship. The managers constantly wear us down by telling us that we are useless, stupid etc. And we have no power whatsoever to stand up to them, as they have all the power. The last woman that stood up to my manager got made redundant. And then we worry that if we try to leave they will give us a bad reference. It can feel like being trapped in hell.

Edited

I am very sorry about your friend.
I am sorry also you are unhappy at work.

However what your thread should be about is 'your manager being a terrible manager. The idea that a company can work as some sort of commune or co-operative is nonsence.

From what you have written, yes, you are making it sound as if you have a really poor manager. I would, however, be interested to hear this from the other side of the story.

UhOhRatPoo · 27/05/2026 12:56

Scarlettjune · 27/05/2026 11:35

Yes! She was working from home at the time, she works from home some days. She could have used a phone, but she prefers email for everything.
When I looked at our handbook about it later, it looks like she should have given it to me face to face and given me a right to tell my side.

Edited

I don’t think you understand what the word “verbal” means.

Islandofmisadventure · 27/05/2026 22:15

Scarlettjune · 27/05/2026 09:29

I don't know. What if the line manager is on annual leave and they need to interview someone. I presume that's what happened

Why would interviews be arranged for a time when the line manager was on leave?

Scarlettjune · 27/05/2026 23:13

Islandofmisadventure · 27/05/2026 22:15

Why would interviews be arranged for a time when the line manager was on leave?

Line manager could have booked leave a long time ago? And then the person working Before me could have handed in notice at the same time

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