To let my SIL go for a walk with my DD?

[Trustwithboudaries]

I think i am being unreasonable! But here's the situation. We haven't let my SIL be alone with our DD now 5, without us nearby. My DH doesn't trust her not to eg give DD sweets without telling us, be safe enough etc. She has previously broken our trust by sharing photos without our permission but also has been really good for the past 6 months or more about respecting rules and boundaries. However DH and I still talked about not letting SIL be with DD5 fully alone. We are currently on holiday with her (SIL), DH, DD5 and DD 2 months. After 9 hrs of travel we arrived. I made dinner, we ate, DH went for a nap and SIL offered to take DD5 for a walk in the holiday park for 20mins. DD was crying and needing to feed after refusing all day. I was exhausted and needed to prepare for bedtime. So without thinking I agreed to the walk without asking DH. DD5 and SIL are back safely and as far as I can tell nothing we would be uncomfortable with happened. But I really shouldn't have agreed to the walk, should I? What can I do to repair the breach of trust? This is a huge deal to DH.

Why doesn’t your DH trust his sister? There’s nothing in there to suggest she’s done anything awful

How old is your SIL?
You talk about her like she’s a child.

I don't get it. She doesn't seem to have done anything awful?

Why are you so frightened of your DH? You should be able to trust your own parenting judgements x

How old is she, unless she is less than 14 years old or had learning. Also odd to go on old with her unless she is helping with the kids?

Your SIL must have done something awful to not be trusted alone with your child?

Why does he get to nap? You say you’re exhausted too. Maybe instead of napping he does some parenting.

She shared some photos and so you and DH don’t trust her at all, in any capacity? You both sound crazy and controlling. Let your kids have a good relationship with their aunt!

You sound very controlling.

9 hours travel, YOU made dinner, YOU had to deal with a 2 month old baby and a 5 year old, YOU had to get ready for bedtime. Rather than being a parent and working as a team, he was having a nap. So no, he doesn't get an opinion on this.
Also I've no idea why your SIL would be such a risk to a 5 year old on a 20 min walk on a campsite. But at least she had the common sense to realize what would be helpful for you in that situation rather than going for a nap.

You sound absolutely bonkers, unless there's something else about SIL that DH hasn't told you.

And how good of him to piss off for a nap while you were dealing with both tired and hungry children after a long journey.

Lazy H needs to parent rather than laying all this nonsense on you.

There has to be more to this than an aunt giving her niece unauthorised sweets and a few photos?
If not, then I think your DH is the one with issues.

Your SIL is 12 with a learning disability right? Or your dd is a bolter and SIL is in a wheelchair?

Totally! Did he need permission to go for his nap or just take himself off for it?! Don’t tell me, he did the driving so is more tired (in HIS opinion).

He sounds unbelievably controlling.

What a nice aunt for your DD. And frankly, a few sweets from a favourite are nothing.

Encourage the relationship! When your DD is a stroppy teenager, you'll be able to send her to her aunt for a break for both you and your DD.

Why not celebrate that there are people around your DD who love her?

Your dh knows his sister far far better than you and any of us

and he is adamant he doesn’t want your young child left alone with his sister

trust HIM on this

there is probably a lot of shit you don’t know about.

I reckon SIL waited until her brother was
asleep and then asked you @Trustwithboudaries

Okay...If she is such a villain why is she on holiday with them?

Not saying you are wrong necessarily but its a weird thing to do no?

Why is dh so angry?

I think you just say to DH you're sorry, you know what you agreed. Unfortunately having travelled for 9 hours, the baby screaming you just couldn't think straight - and to be honest there was no easy way to turn down the offer as it was exactly what was needed at that point in time and he wasn't around <meaningful stare>

You don’t trust her but youve gone on holiday with her, your shattered but your husband naps, your scared your husband will find out. I would say there’s a bigger issue than your SIL.

You’ll just need to apologise to DH for it but also bring up why he was asleep and not taking care of his kids.

I don’t understand why you’d let a dangerous person take your DD and put her at such risk, instead of just waking up their dad.

Why are you scared of your husband?

SIL hasn't done anything except share some photos- she was probably excited about them. Unclench for heaven sake