To let my SIL go for a walk with my DD?

[Trustwithboudaries]

I think i am being unreasonable! But here's the situation. We haven't let my SIL be alone with our DD now 5, without us nearby. My DH doesn't trust her not to eg give DD sweets without telling us, be safe enough etc. She has previously broken our trust by sharing photos without our permission but also has been really good for the past 6 months or more about respecting rules and boundaries. However DH and I still talked about not letting SIL be with DD5 fully alone. We are currently on holiday with her (SIL), DH, DD5 and DD 2 months. After 9 hrs of travel we arrived. I made dinner, we ate, DH went for a nap and SIL offered to take DD5 for a walk in the holiday park for 20mins. DD was crying and needing to feed after refusing all day. I was exhausted and needed to prepare for bedtime. So without thinking I agreed to the walk without asking DH. DD5 and SIL are back safely and as far as I can tell nothing we would be uncomfortable with happened. But I really shouldn't have agreed to the walk, should I? What can I do to repair the breach of trust? This is a huge deal to DH.

This.

And if he complains, send him my way and I’ll tell him to get a fucking grip.

There’s not enough info to say whether you were unreasonable about the walk, but based on what you’ve shared it’s dickish behaviour of your DH to go off for a nap and leave to sort dinner and bedtime while looking after two overtired children, one of who is just a baby.

Your husband sounds like a controlling twat and you sound scared of him. HTH.

So your daughter went for a walk with her aunty, and she came back safe and happy.
Your life really is problem free.

Unless there is a huge back story on what SIL has done the you are being ridiculous.

aside from that, DH sounds like a twat. Why does he get to nap when everyone is exhausted

Oh wow OP.

I really hope you are safe.

The red flags here from your husband are blazing.

she sounds like a good ally.

your post is strangely written with “we”

Sounds like a big overreaction to a walk where nothing went wrong. You're both being too upright imo. You've even admitted that she's improved. I think it's rather insulting to your sil to be honest, especially when your travelling together. Not good for the relationship.

This is baffling. You haven’t given enough information, but on the surface unless there’s a big drip feed, your dh sounds really controlling.

What’s the reason he doesn’t trust her? Are his beliefs proportionate? Is he overreacting

Is he wanting you to do all the work, rather than her helping out in any shape or form.

My first thought too.

I realy wish this was all I had to worry about

Silence from the OP. Perhaps the replies have embarrassed her slightly as this has got to be a joke unless it’s a drip feed and there’s much more too it?

Why was Mr Important having a nap ?!!!

What illness does he suffer from.

Was he actually driving for that 9 hours, or did he pilot the plane.

Yes, same.

Your DH sounds very controlling

You have a DH issue. That isn't normal behaviour from him

Maybe he shouldnt nap, leaving you with both kids to sort out and than you wont give into offers of help from your SIL

You let SIL go with your DD because deep down you KNOW you can trust her. And you KNOW DH is the problem.

Honestly, I’d just mention it in a passing way. Oh, you’re up, hope you enjoyed your nap, it got stressful with baby needing to be fed and DD needing to let off steam, so SIL took her for a walk which really helped me.

You cooked dinner, I bet you tidied up afterwards too which dead old DH went for his nap. What kind of a holiday would it be if you can never let your SIL be alone with your children, why bring her ?

Maybe he did all the driving?

To add - you don’t have to do anything to repair a breach of trust. On the face of it, your DH is being ridiculous and selfish. I’d mention it to him in passing and move on and get on with the holiday and don’t engage with him about this.

I think a DH who buggers off for a nap leaving his wife to look after a two month old and five year old doesn’t get the right to take offence about the decisions the wife makes.

and if he likes SIL enough to have her on holiday then he needs to get over himself.

So?? The OP has a two month old baby. No doubt she did all the packing and getting prepared for the holiday, not to mention cooking the dinner after arriving and will no doubt be up several times tonight feeding their baby.

This
All seems OTT

Yeah, he sounds like a real fucking hero.