AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

[TheMumEdit]

Interested in how other people approach. We do a group collection for the school teacher every year. Another mum and I tend to take turns. Offered out to the rest but oddly no one else wants a turn! . We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

I’ve never really thought about it but the other mum that’s turn it is think we should say we’ve only received one contribution. The more I think about it the more I thinks she a bit cheeky but after 6 years don’t see the point in saying now. This mum is quite well off (one a Dr and one equal in terms of salary) whilst most other parents are on much lower salaries.

AIBU: don’t say
YANBU Say gives more money 😉

I wouldn’t expect 2 presents from one family - that would be silly.

OP. Just check yourself a minute. This is not the person you want to be.

I wouldn't be told to put a tenner per child in a collection, the point is that it's given willingly, not out of obligation or fear of judgement on the school yard. You've taken a nice thing and made it something horrible. Sort it out.

I’m going with one for both. Twin parents shouldn’t have to fork out double all the time. It’s up to her what she does, stop judging.

I'd write on the card a tally if what everyone paid, or maybe a seperate p.s twin mum only paid once.

This is ridiculous...she paid what she wanted, not really any of your business. I might think to myself its a bit cheeky, but its a gift collrction. Presumably if 30 in a class that's a good chunk if mist people gave a tenner.

Collections I've given to and collected for have been pay what you want. Some have given a fiver others thirty quid.

Let it go. Maybe she thought it was a tenner per family.

I really don't see it as your business, Keep out of it.
It seems a little clique have it in for this woman so they don't find it hard to judge her. Is she braggy or are you jealous of her. Leave her alone.
I hate being told what to give and if I was approached I would not be best pleased. Leave it now.

Close-in-age siblings are absolutely not the same as twins.

Teacher collections that dictate an amount are fucking awful. If you absolutely insist on setting an amount, it should be per family.

As a high-earning twin parent, if you said something about it to me about how much I chose to contribute, I’d think you were ridiculous.

Pathetic.

I have 2 with a 15 month gap of course it isn't the same as having.twins 🙄🙄🙄

I'd see it as cost per family rather than per child.

I don’t think anyone should dictate how much anyone should contribute. That’s just cheeky fuckery.

Another twin mum here, already skint and my boys aren't even in school yet to have all my money taken for collections!
I wouldn’t be giving twice as much. I have enough to pay out for. But I hate collections and, from when my older children were in primary, I really disliked the mums who did them. Apparently not much has changed…

This.

When you have these 'votes' or 'group agreements' its always very difficult to say no to the majority or embarassing to say "Actually that is too much for me".

I don't think there should be comments or auditing. Any voluntary contribution is much appreciated and it remembered it is a voluntary contribution. It should not be a dictate.

My child’s in year 1. Last year the mum click dictated how much we should contribute to get a present. It was ridiculous. Teachers and the TA do not need a huge cash gift voucher. I work in a LA I would never be able to accept a gift like this. This year I won’t be joining the collection and will write my own card and get a small gift.

parents like you are like the school police!

She is generous in reality, she given £10.

And no ones a troll, just because you don't like the replies you've recieved.

The mum who has raised a fuss about this is exactly the sort of parent that everyone gets warned about when their children start primary school. I bet they also set up the school whatsapp group and use the phrase ‘school community’ in every other sentence.

She shouldn’t even be tracking how much everyone has paid, let alone commenting on it and complaining. Nobody knows about another family’s finances, so saying ‘she clearly can’ afford it is nonsense.

If you’re struggling financially you should stop contributing so much to a gift for teachers. They’re paid to do a job, they don’t need end of year charity to keep them going. I find it so weird that people get so in to arranging presents for someone who chose a career and earns a salary.

I also work for the local authority and we have really strict rules about accepting gifts. We’re not allowed to accept them, unless it would really cause offence due to cultural differences, even then if it’s over £5 we have to declare it to higher management. And the general rule is if someone insists and gives you a box of chocs/bunch of flowers we have to take them in to the office to share so that there’s no way conflict of interest

Two sets of twins here! I always doubled contributions like that. Shes taking the piss.

Ah that clears it up. You’re jealous

We always say contribution is completely voluntary. Some people give £5, some 50. Some don't contribute but might buy or make their own gift or card. Literally nothing at all to stress about. Why does it matter?

Well this is exactly the weird nit picking that fucks me right off about group collections. You are self appointed collectors for the group and now you are self appointed judge and jury too. Well done.

Who is the poor woman taking the piss out of? If there was no group collection then it would be fine.

I have twins, but three other children as well- it's voluntary but soon adds up with other non-twins kids to contribute to as well.

Maybe she only wanted to donate £5, £10 is double that. If I told you the contribution was set at 1k, would you give me 2k?

What if she can’t afford it? Twins must be so expensive x

Do you tell the teacher the amount every family has paid? Do you think they’d care? Would £10 more split between teacher, TA & office staff have made any difference? No one has had to pay more to cover the other child paying, all parents have contributed £10 - no one has been fiddled here.

Teacher here. Nobody "should" be paying anything. Absolutely bloody ridiculous. We do get a salary you know. Why tf would a supermarket checkout worker on min wage for example donate a tenner to a teacher? Who does a collection for them every July? It should be banned. It was in our catholic primary. Any collection was donated to charity/food bank. Quite right. And as for the twins bloody hell no. That sounds hard enough without some bloody alpha mother asking for a double donation.