AIBU to think a twin parent should contribute per child?

[TheMumEdit]

Interested in how other people approach. We do a group collection for the school teacher every year. Another mum and I tend to take turns. Offered out to the rest but oddly no one else wants a turn! . We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

I’ve never really thought about it but the other mum that’s turn it is think we should say we’ve only received one contribution. The more I think about it the more I thinks she a bit cheeky but after 6 years don’t see the point in saying now. This mum is quite well off (one a Dr and one equal in terms of salary) whilst most other parents are on much lower salaries.

AIBU: don’t say
YANBU Say gives more money 😉

You-

We put in £10 each which is what we all agreed. . Two mums in the year have twins. One mum pays per child (so £20) and the other pays £10 total so £5 per child.

How is anyone being taken advantage of. You collect the money and buy what you can afford with the collection. No one has to pay more to cover someone else. Every parent in the class has contributed the same.

YABU, they don’t have to give anything so if they want to give £10 then that is good enough.

The teacher isn't doing "two lots of work". They are teaching their class. The class number would be the same whether it was 30 singletons or 28 singletons and a pair of twins.

As a side note, there are very few discounts for twins so don't worry, you really aren't missing out.

Just a friendly reminder that she may not have chosen 2 under 2, contraceptive failures happen! :)

It's still not the same as twins...

Seems a bit late to bring it up now - kids will be out of primary soon?

I'm sure the teacher would hate to think their gift has caused bad feeling.

Its not like its a meal or event that everyone went to and she's not paying her way. She's not 'taken' anything from the test of you. Just get a gift that costs £290 (which seems insane anyway), not £300.

I dont think parents should set mandatory amounts. My school does £30 per child to cover the year (Xmas/Easter/summer gifts - it's in a wealthy area and the precedent has been set for years) but i always make sure i state that it can be less or not at all and the child's name will be on the card - esp as I arrange for each child to sign the card so it's a nice keepsake for the teacher (/or goes in the bin lol). Most people do contribute the whole 30, a couple dont but I dont judge as there could be any number of reasons.

I used to do end of year gift collection. We had suggested figure of £10 but I would never have dreamed of judging parents who gave less or nothing at all. It was a gift not a tax. Quite a few gave other presents off their own bat, either instead of or as well as. Some gave nothing which was totally their prerogative.

I'm a twin mum and always pay twice or double. Double presents for birthday parties too, it can feel expensive in the moment but if they went to two separate parties I'd be paying twice anyhow

I’m just impressed that you’ve started your teacher collection already!

I wouldn’t say anything if your kids are leaving soon anyway. This will soon be forgotten about. Ours is suggested donation of £5 - most do that, some are more generous and 1 does £3. I don’t comment on it. It all goes in the pot, the teachers and tas get treated. Job done.

its so annoying this class collection crap. you are forced to feel like you have to do it. the kids dont learn anything about gifting/expressing gratitude through gifts because its all done by the parents. and in this case, the non paid for twin's name being in the card make f all difference because the teacher, I can guarantee, is not sitting there looking at each individual name to see who contributed.

My god some people really don’t have problems.

We have a set of twins in our group and they only put in the amount for one child (I do the collection with another Mum) and this has crossed my mind that they should be given per child but I wouldn’t bring it up to her if I’m honest x

Would be interesting to know if she takes two appointments at parents evening/gets two entries to see the school play etc.
Interesting - not something I have ever thought of as I thankfully don't have twins.

In a class of 30 children, the teacher will need to allocate 30 parents evening appointments. The number of appointments is linked to the number of children, regardless of whether some of those children are siblings. The purpose is to provide individual feedback for each child to their parents. So, yes, I would assume that this mother "takes" two parents evening appointments.

I really hope you aren't insinuating that the number of parents evening appointments should be linked to parent contributions to (totally optional) end of year gifts.

Exactly this!

Change it to per family. No need to comment on her vacations or her financial situation.

Gosh you’re spiky. Heat getting to you?

It was actually a curiosity, not knowing how these things run as I don’t have nor teach twins.
I couldn’t really care less.

You NEVER know a person’s financial situation i own two homes worth over a million Pound house but been to a food bank 3 times this past 2 years that time i gave £5 which was a % of my huge overdraft i could not afford i know a parent who gave £100 that same year

very unkind to set an amount and to know and discuss who gives what

surely twins incur a life long expense so maybe spare her a tenner ?

our school card states love from class x people can give extra or individual personal gifts if they like but no ones singled out

Of course the parents of twins get one slot for parents evening per child. Why should they get less time per child than parents with one child per class?

That is def cheeky especially if she is well
off
however the rule for our collection that £10 is appreciated but basically we put in what we want

I wouldn’t say anything but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to do it

I'm sure there are many things you don't understand.

Laughing that she ‘isn’t popular’ who would want to be popular with the inner circle who are using an excel to track gifts for the teacher?! Absolutely deranged behaviour.

She’s donated £10 (or £5 depending on how OP feels the thread is going and tweaking accordingly) which is generous.

Teacher won’t give a flying fuck who it’s from

I have twins. Get a parents evening appt for each of them, obviously - I need to hear about them both individually. But Christmas show is just two tickets per family, so no extras there.