DD with friend’s family for 8 hours only ate crisps

[Z0rr0]

My DD was invited to an activity with friends today. She ate a toasted English muffin before she left at 8.15. By the time she came back at 4pm she’d only been offered some crisps to eat. I’m grateful the family took her out (I paid for her ticket which was less than a tenner) and hosted her at their home, but I just can’t fathom not offering her some lunch.

It really didn’t come across that way - my bed 😳🫣

What are quesadillas?

Because I would assume it was just something people say to be polite

It’s just a Mexican tortilla wrap, filled with melted cheese mostly, sometimes veg.

We fill them up with cheese, fold over and melt on the griddle/frying pan.

very basic, takes about 10 mins.

I always fed my children s friends however old they were. There was one friend who's parents were pretty eccentric. When DS was about 16 and went to their house he reckoned there was actually nothing in the house to eat, not even breakfast cereal. The parents were out and they searched the kitchen.

He was used to my house where I always have enough food to withstand a siege.

I think if you're at someone's house most of the day (as a teen), it would be normal for the friend who lives there to offer a sandwich for lunch or something like that, or you go out to McDonald's or wherever is near. That's what mine would do.

What will you do when it’s 2-4 friends and they’re over a few times a week? Be realistic. Most would need another part time job to offer food each time.

it’s very clear this is your first young adult. Their friends move from being a “guest” to regular visitors and familiar faces. It’s not possible to put in food each time for all the “guests” at this stage. It’s ridiculous and very naive. Most will have part time jobs and even feeding themselves at home.

if your daughter can’t say to a friend without it seeing rude “I’m hungry” “can we eat” etc then they’re a funny friendship!

Ah okay - thanks.

Honestly, that’s a “you” issue. It’s totally normal
to offer guests tea, coffee and something to eat to go along with it.

🤣🤣She’s 17🤣🤣 thought it was going to a wee child!

Not necessarily. She’s old enough to last a few hours without asking, surely? She did have something to eat in any case

Could it be cost was a issue??? I'd expect if taking a child out parent to ask do they require lunch money at least

Don’t go to Ireland 😆 at least not any of the places my family lives! They would gang up on you and hound you until you took a bit of cake

No, your post just didn’t annihilate the friend’s parents and back pat your parenting the way you hoped it would.

Don’t ask for opinions if you’re then going to name call posters who comment their opinion and facts etc that disagree with your opinion.

Does everyone have biscuits/cakes/bread etc in on the off chance then?

Of course it’s normal to offer lunch to people you’re effectively hosting for a whole day OP, I’m not sure why people are pretending otherwise. Wondering if people on this thread would invite someone out for the day, take them back to their house and not offer them food? If so, they’ve got shit hosting skills!

I voted YANBU but then I saw that your daughter wasn’t a child so yes ofc YABU!?

If they were coming for lunch of course. But OP’s daughter wasn’t starved

I mean surely at 17 you say to your pals shall we get some lunch now?

I mean, they’re just normal cupboard staples aren’t they? Not necessarily cake but I always have biscuits, bread, fruit, snack sized chocolate bars etc. in the house.

Nope - I don’t have that kind of thing in unless I know someone is coming.

When I lived alone I had a fridge with some salad cream
and some mustard and that was about it. I bought food as I needed it

Tbf if she gets the heads up, my mum usually bakes a cake for visitors. Otherwise she doesn’t have biscuits etc

You must realise that it's perfectly common for people to have basics like bread or biscuits in. It seems you're an outlier here but I don't think you'd find anyone else who had just a few condiments in the fridge.

My DC are slightly older than this & I don’t make them lunch very often. There is food available to help themselves (& any friends) but I don’t go out of my way to give them
lunch. I cook them dinner every evening though.

That's a good point. Generally, people factor in a meal somewhere along the day and invite their guests to share. Even if they're seventeen.