Partner lying in bed on hottest day of the year …would you be annoyed ?

[luluxxx]

My partner works 6 days of the week
He never gets bank holidays off except today .
Anyway Saturday night we went to a gig that I really wanted to go too ,we left before the main act came on as he had a sore throat.
Yesterdag was a football game,he was up and seemed to be fine ,out for 10 hours.
Today he won’t get out of bed
Says he can’t be bothered because of his sore throat.
Its 29 degrees here
We had plans to go to car boot sale or beach.
Anyway I have left him to it and came out to the park with my book.
Would you be annoyed ?
I feel a bit sad as I’m sat by myself and everyone here with partners etc .

I would be annoyed. It's not the one or the other, it's the using the sore throat as an excuse to not do things with you when he's obviously not so sick he can't do the things he likes.

If this isn't a one off, I would start to wonder if you are really compatible and have enough in common for a happy life together. Whether he went along with everything in the beginning just to cement the relationship and now the honeymoon period's worn off you're just a fixture in his life - if this is who he is and he isn't really prepared to go out of his way at all for you?

Leave him to sulk in bed

Maybe he's not sulking. Maybe he's just relieved to be left alone.

The gig would've really annoyed me, not cheap and often years before bands come and play again

Why did op leave then? I went to a gig with dh recently and it was so bloody loud that I left half an hour in. No way I expected him to leave with me, he'd been looking forward to it. He didn't need me there to hold his hand.

I would leave him to it. He isn't feeling great and it is too hot to do anything anyway. I was off on Fri, Sat, Sun and spent a fair bit of time sitting outside reading (I am alone and it has been bliss). Today I am inside with the doors and windows shut and some of the blinds closed. I get that it is annoying that you had plans but working 6 days is tough and he probably made himself worse by pushing through yesterday to do the thing he wanted to do. Does he even like the heat? Going to the beach today would be my worst nightmare!

Yes I would be annoyed that he ducked out of the gig you'd gone to together but was ok for football yesterday.

With him having a six day working week and bank holidays off being rare for him, I wouldn't begrudge him spending today as he chooses.

Maybe he didn't really fancy the gig but She Who Must Be Obeyed had said they were going.

Get a tow float and go to the beach. All your valuables go in the waterproof bag attached to your waist.
Can never understand couples who are joined at the hip/can’t do things alone.
A friend of mine cancelled a weekend they absolutely love going to, as his new wife had an interview on one of the days.
So they just sat in all weekend together and did nothing, for the sake of her interview.

She could have done that and he gone to the event they had planned.
Or she join him the next day. An area easily accessible by public transport, on the edge of London.
Madness!

I totally agree.
Nevertheless, I'd have to split up with him as he's a 'footie' fan. 😁
Not keen on rugby fans, either.
Nor cricket.
The last might be tolerable, though, provided good in other ways.

I'm sorry but you both had to leave a gig you wanted to be at because he had a sore throat? And this sore throat magically disappeared the very next day so he could have a day at the football? Bollocks to that OP. You should've gone to the beach or car boot on your own and left the twat at home. Don't let him ruin your plans again!

Do you work OP? Ok leaving gig early must have been annoying but I don't get the obsession with having to go out and "do something" when it's hot

YANBU OP. My ex DH has passed away now, but in the years we were married he worked 6 days a week for over 40 years so the one day off was OUR time not his time. On most Sundays ( his day off) I would ask him to finish off any DIY jobs that needed doing which I couldn't do myself, but always asked him for a treat on Sunday afternoons to surprise me by taking me somewhere. For years we used to visit various places which I enjoyed but gradually became more selfish complaining about feeling tired or needing time to himself. Despite getting up later on his day off and allowing him a couple of hours to watch his grotty football highlights in the evening, he still couldn't be bothered to keep to basic time tables I gave him for the day of jobs that needed doing or my afternoon treat.

On weekdays when I met friends for coffee and a natter, I discovered equally horrific behaviour from the other DHs and even worse. Sorry he won't change, my advice is LTB and make sure you get a good solicitor. In circumstances like this it is always best to get your ducks in a row so to speak. It is pointless mansplaining to him, men don't tend to have the intelligence to understand their selfish ways so why bother. Under new legislation, his behaviour could be deemed as emotionally coercive so worth considering to report - perhaps not to police but there is advice out there. My DH provided for everything financially but on the one day he had off couldn't be bothered to take into account MY feelings and emotional needs. I don't miss him and sometimes wish I had made different life choices.

This is one of the most mental posts I’ve read on here

Why? If the OP's partner can't be bothered to take time to consider her feelings, bin him

Then he shouldn't have made plans with his partner and disappointed her. If he was that bad he could have rested up on Sunday but no that would have meant foregoing what he wanted to do. Still selfish.

It’s hideous out there. Had to go out for ten mins and made me feel quite poorly - I think a lot of folk are keeping out of the sun inside today. Even worse if he’s already under the weather. There will be other bank holidays :)

I'd seriously think about dumping him.

seems like the only plans he packs in to rest wre plans you have together but hes still fine to fuck off for 10 hours to do football in the middle of being ill.

All I can say is don't expect better from him because you won't get it and if you have kids you'll be expected to entertain them all the time.

but I don't get the obsession with having to go out and "do something" when it's hot

More of a stay in and do nothing day for me. I love a stroll on the beach but not on a 30c bank holiday Monday!!

Wow...so who was parenting in the evenings? The minor breadwinner?

This is one of the most mental posts I’ve read on here

It is if it's serious!!

If he's not well, then he's unwell.

I've been floored with a sore throat, post-nasal drip which has mostly dried up do to a nasal spray and antihisamines but I'm floored with fatigue but look fine to anyone who sees me.

I had to go to bed for a few hours sleep on Saturday afternoon which is unusual for me. I'm struggling to stay awake today despite having had a good night's sleep.

I had to go to something important yesterday for 2 hours but I plied myself in medication and just about got through it but I was shattered.

If he's not well then if he did go along with you he'd probably have ruined it for you.

I hate the heat. I'm a redhead and heat and sun is torture for me. My husband works in security and is a door supervisor as well. He's worked friday - sunday 3pm till roughly 4am. He is laid on the bed, blinds shut and his fan on playing on his xbox. I'm in the living room with ac unit with our 2yr old and 19yr old (he's hungover). 22yr old is out at a theme park, 17yr old is at a friends bbq as they have a pool. I've cleaned, prepped chicken & salad for tea, washed & foled 3 loads of washing and refilled my birdbath with cold water. That's about as much as I'm doing.
I'd love to live near the sea though. I think i may venture out if there was a cold sea on offer to nip into.

The man works 6 days a week and never gets a bank holiday off, also it's far too hot for it to be pleasant or comfortable to go out. Let the man spend his time off how he wants to.

It wouldn't bother me, I don't need another person with me to do things. He is tired and wants to rest in his own way, sleep is nice.

😁
Well played. Wasn't sure till well into reading it. Like all good satire.

Surprised results aren’t more YABU!