Partner lying in bed on hottest day of the year …would you be annoyed ?

[luluxxx]

My partner works 6 days of the week
He never gets bank holidays off except today .
Anyway Saturday night we went to a gig that I really wanted to go too ,we left before the main act came on as he had a sore throat.
Yesterdag was a football game,he was up and seemed to be fine ,out for 10 hours.
Today he won’t get out of bed
Says he can’t be bothered because of his sore throat.
Its 29 degrees here
We had plans to go to car boot sale or beach.
Anyway I have left him to it and came out to the park with my book.
Would you be annoyed ?
I feel a bit sad as I’m sat by myself and everyone here with partners etc .

Unwell Friday night for OPs gig, ok for his football on Saturday, unwell again for something with OP today. 🤔 I’m very sympathetic to anyone unwell but this sounds like someone who is using it when suits. No time for that.

You’re telling OP to keep the poor lamb extra hydrated today? Lol. I’m sure he can at least manage to fetch his own water and lift it to his mouth to keep himself hydrated today, he managed the football yesterday after all.

But he was okay to be out yesterday for ten hours (in the heat) after claiming he had a sore throat the night before… .

So he was only there to look after your stuff! If I had worked 6 days and felt poorly, that would be thelast thing I’d want to do! I do think you are being a bit selfish!

Hm. Ordinarily, I'd say if someone's not feeling well, they should be allowed to rest, even if you've made plans. It's disappointing, but that's life. However, this is a bit different. Sandwiched between two 'woe is me, I'm so ill' days, he powered through his sore throat to do what was important to him (football). That would suggest that he cares more about the stupid football than spending time with you, doing anything you're interested in. It's not the end of the world, but yeah, I'd be annoyed.

He's selective as to when his sore throat bothers him isn't he? He's either ill or he's not and I suspect the latter.

The gig would've really annoyed me, not cheap and often years before bands come and play again. Why didn't he just take some cough sweets? I am pretty sure a sore throat bad enough to go home doesn't come on suddenly!

I've just read the OP's post back to front. Arghhhhhhh can I blame the heat?

So he was fine at the match but had to go home early from the gig..... seems odd but some viruses can make you feel rough, then OK, then really hit you a few days after infection. I'd be pissed off too, but probably let it go. Go out and enjoy yourself if you're brave enough for the scorcher that is today.

If this is a pattern, then maybe you need to have a serious chat with him. If it rarely happens, I'd let it go.

True and could he not have just gone home alone?

OP why didn't you stay to enjoy the main act? Surely he wasn't ill enough that you needed to take him home??

I got a waterproof pouch for my car key and phone when I wanted to go to the beach on my own.

I couldn't get annoyed if my DH didn't want to do something with me on a sunny day. Lounging in the back garden while I read my book and the dogs sunbathe is bliss for me.
What I would be extremely pissed off about is if a gig I wanted to go to was too much for him but he could power through something he wanted to do.

I’m ill this weekend. I have enough energy to do a small number of things, otherwise I’m horizontal. I worked 12 hour days last week. Luckily my partner is wonderful so will entertain himself without moaning and whinging about it, or questioning my choices.

I don’t think he’s being a dick on purpose.

Saturday night he tired out sooner than usual and left a show early.
He likely felt ill yesterday but pushed through it only to crash last night.
Now on Monday, he feels too ill to get out of bed.

Looks like a normal progression when someone is ill. They get a good night’s rest, then try and push through the next day, and only after that does it set in they are actually quite ill.

I’m sorry but working 6 days a week does give you the occasional free pass to do fuck all
im sorry but car boot and beach are my idea of hell on a bank holiday
yes he went to the match but he only gets 4 days a month of I’d be tempt to just do the things I like

i actually don’t but that it matters that he enjoyed the football yesterday. Can’t we all muster up energy for the stuff we want to do and love? What’s wrong with that?

if I was ill and knew I had to be in work tomorrow I would absolutely be spending today recovering I’m afraid.

I really don’t expect that I’m responsible for another adults bank holiday.

Its a bit depressing to be in bed all day on a sunny day. Cant he just take a day nurse and hang out with his chosen life partner

Im old and I avoid crowded public places. I would have to be dragged to the beach in this weather by the hair. I dont even sit in the garden. Your poor DH probably needs a day to wind down. So why not go to the car boot sale or the park on your own? This would teach him that you are quite capable of functioning on your own - something I have done all my life. I dont need a man to squire me around. Nor do you.

👏🏿 👏🏿 👏🏿

Make some plans for a sundown picnic and drinks on the beach with him maybe? Go to a local park and read until then? He gets a lazy day, you enjoy the sun and quality time to end the day. Win win all round

I understand how you can become ill, go home early, think you are ok the next day, do too much, and then have a relapse the next day. I think we have all done it. I think its OK that he rests when he is unwell, he might have felt crappy yesterday too and powered through on pain relief and needs a day to recover now. I totally get that you were annoyed about the gig, I think either he should have struggled on to let you see the act you liked or gone home alone. If my dh was sick I'd stay out and vice versa unless you live far away.

the poor bugger works 6 days a week and this is his first bank holiday off and youre calling him a selfish twat...give your head a wobble....he deserves some "him" time

Your an adult.

Go out.

If my partner was in bed on a beautiful day, id be up and out the door without question.

The whole point for the op is that this cold has been too bad to spend the time allocated to her, but absolutely not too bad at all to go to football all day

Not sure about this. Sometimes if you have a virus or something you feel a bit better next day and then overdo it and make yourself worse. Dh is always doing it however much I warn him. I've done it myself too, especially if there's something you don't want to miss. I think it's a fairly commonplace occurrence.
I wouldn't be out in this heat anyway and neither dh nor myself would try to force it on the other especially if they weren't 100%

Maybe he didn’t actually want to go to the concert, and probably doesn’t want to go to a car boot sale. If they are things you want to do you should crack on without him.

If I’m not feeling great, there’s no way I’m dragging myself to something I have no interest in.

BTW, I’m lying on the couch with all the windows open as it’s too hot outside.

what a delightful person you are..id hardly call a man who works 6 days a week to keep his superficial wife happy a loser...

It's annoying when your partner doesn't want to join in with the day, because more often than not it leaves you doing something on your own, if you didn't know in advance. However, in this heat he might be better off indoors, especially if he's not totally well. These are dangerous temps, imo. Hope he has a fan.

YABU about sleeping in - I was in bed until 12 because I sleep terribly. These are my times to try and claw back sleep. Also I don't want to spend my time in packed beer gardens, stuck on roads trying to get to the coast etc etc. We go a bit mental on nice days in this country. YANBU - Definitely would not have home before the main event though.