Friend expecting me to work for free

[unpaid1]

Recently, a friend who I used to work with has opened her own consulting business and told me about it. As we worked in the same field she said we could work together where if she needed any help with documents, data entry I could pick it up. I of course said yes, that sounds great , make a bit of money on the side.

The issue is I’ve now done quite a few pieces of work for her but she hasn’t mentioned any payment? I tried to hint to her last week when she asked me to type something up for her, how would we work how I’m getting paid and she said don’t worry we will talk about it soon. She gave me the business bank card and told me to order stationary etc if needed as she would cover the costs.

She’s just messaged again asking for a task to be competed and I’m slightly annoyed now because I can’t keep giving my time up for free. How do I approach this with her without ruining our friendship? I really don’t want to finish this new task she’s given me as I know it’s going to take a good 5-6 hours 😭.

AIBU and should just help her?
AINBU and how do I ask her to pay me?

I think you have a couple of options.

You could either ask her when she will be receiving income from the consulting work, and what she had considered to be a reasonable cut for you. Then if you don't see that as being reasonable, be prepared to negotiate or refuse future work. This has the advantage that it considers when she gets paid, shows understanding from you that at the early stages of business cash flow might not be optimal. But she could easily try and go very low, it doesn't necessarily show how much time you have spent working for her, she may not understand a reasonable rate for this.

Or present her with an invoice, taking into consideration your hourly rate and time spent on the work. You could offer a discount if you think that is reasonable for your relationship, or the new stage of her business. This has the advantage that it is more up front, asking for a fair rate for you, but could be a lot more than she was expecting.

She could of course be taking the p* and expecting you to work for free. Definitely make sure you agree any payment to yourself upfront in future, not all friends have the same expectations and she could be thinking that you are 'helping' her as she is setting up, not understanding that you are also running your own business and need to ensure you get income for your time spent working.

I won't add to the voices telling you to get paid for what you've done so far - of course you do that.

But I would nix any discussion or mentions of 'future work' - if she's prepared to do this now, even if she pays you, you'll be on tenterhooks for every penny she owes you in future. Why add that anxiety to your life?

Just be too busy with actual PAID work going forward...

I know, being freelance throws up these dilemmas, and we tend to be super-diligent, and grateful for almost any work... but that's all the more reason to protect ourselves by being firmly professional about things.

Courage! 💪

Bloody hell…. Stop being a mug. She will never pay you.

@unpaid1 You've had over a hundred different suggestions here. Lots of excellent advice all given for free. There's an irony in ignoring all of that and not responding to anyone, given the original problem.

170 replies and the nil response from the OP!

This!

Pleaae don't be one of those irritating ignorant people that never come back to thank people for their advice and update on what you chose to do. Wasting everyone's time.

No don’t send this. It basically states you don’t expect payment for the hours already worked, which is not on. Send her an invoice for the hours worked at your normal rate, with a note “would appreciate early settlement of this so I will be in a position to start your next piece of work “.

Never mind all this tip-toeing about “ not wanting to upset a friend “. A real friend wouldn’t have put you in this position in the first place.

Wow! Thank you so much everyone for responding! I won’t lie some responses were too direct for my liking but maybe that’s why I’m in this position in the first place!!! Truly appreciate everyone’s input though

UPDATE: I did message her saying “before we continue further can we just confirm how I would be paid please” and she did reply with a
figure and thanks to everyone on here telling me to buckle up I did negotiate a better price! So thank you mumsnetters! 🩷 I can now send her an invoice at the end of the month! Wish you all a lovely bank holiday! I know I can now enjoy mine :)

So how are you going to address the situation OP? I see four options
1 write off the work you have already done but say you haven't got time to do anymore
2 say she will need to start paying for your time going forward
3 ask her to pay for what you have already done and for any further work
4 carry on as you are doing it for nothing

Option 3 might be tricky as there was nothing concrete stated at the start, but I can't see any friend not realising she's been taking the Mickey a wee bit and agreeing to option 2 at least.

Edited - cross posted. Pleased you have a resolution OP

Good for you OP, particularly for negotiating the higher figure. Well done!

Shes being unreasonable and breaking up the friendship by taking the ***! No more until payment is made!

Do you trust her to pay you at the end of the month, after she dragged her heals in the first place coming up with a price, which was lower than you are worth?

I totally expect you to do all the work and her not pay you, or again drag her heals/ come up with a reason she isnt happy with your work when payment is due.

Well done!

You are essentially working freelance for her. Decide what hourly rate you wish to charge and send her an invoice.

Oops! - missed your update - well done!

Tell her that you will be submitting an invoice for hours worked.

Oh dear. I didn’t think of this. I’m sure it won’t come to that though. At least hopefully not and if it does, at least then I’ll know where I and our friendship stands!

This.

Stop working for free. Woman up and say you are waiting payment. Don't do anymore work until paid.

Stop being used! @unpaid1

Personally, I wouldnt be doing any more work for her until she's paid you for the work you've already done.

Imagine if you devote hours to her over the coming month and then when you invoice her she doesnt pay- she's obviously reluctant to pay you and keeps trying to put you off.

Its great she's now promised but that really means nothing until the money is actually transferred to your account.

This. You were quite foolish not to demand payment first.

You she will get you to do more work, won't pay you, and ghost you, right? If you can, message her again and say you will be happy to help her after payment at the end of the month has been received, but that you won't be doing any work til then.

Why don’t you just invoice her now for the work you’ve already done at the rate you’ve just agreed with her. Tell her the due date for that payment.

Once that payment has been received by you, then, and only then, should you do any more work for her.

Otherwise you could end up wasting more time doing work for her. This way you’ll know sooner rather than later quite how much of a friend she is.

Stop dping it. She is taking you for a mug!

As it’s the end of the month this week I won’t have to wait long to see if she really does take me for a mug. I hope not, I thought we were quite good friends and despite everything I want to think she wouldn’t completely use me like this. I might put off the new task though as it’s not urgent and tell her I’ll work on it next week just to be cautious. That way it’s my own hard lesson to be learnt if she doesn’t pay but I’ve not wasted more time either.