Friend expecting me to work for free

[unpaid1]

Recently, a friend who I used to work with has opened her own consulting business and told me about it. As we worked in the same field she said we could work together where if she needed any help with documents, data entry I could pick it up. I of course said yes, that sounds great , make a bit of money on the side.

The issue is I’ve now done quite a few pieces of work for her but she hasn’t mentioned any payment? I tried to hint to her last week when she asked me to type something up for her, how would we work how I’m getting paid and she said don’t worry we will talk about it soon. She gave me the business bank card and told me to order stationary etc if needed as she would cover the costs.

She’s just messaged again asking for a task to be competed and I’m slightly annoyed now because I can’t keep giving my time up for free. How do I approach this with her without ruining our friendship? I really don’t want to finish this new task she’s given me as I know it’s going to take a good 5-6 hours 😭.

AIBU and should just help her?
AINBU and how do I ask her to pay me?

Message saying
'Hi, which email address do I send invoices to?
I have done X work/hours so far.
Once this invoice is settled, I can continue on this project.
Thanks.

Send her an invoice over for the work already completed then just say “hi Sandra, the task you want me to do is going to take around 5/6 hours, until I’m paid for the previous task I won’t be able to start on the next one”

I really don't understand the dynamic here. If a friend asked me to spend 5 or 6 hours typing something up for them, I would laugh in their face.

I mean this with kindness but you are a grown up, you tell her your rate per hour and then you send her an invoice for work completed. End of. I understand some people don’t like confrontation but this is not confrontational it’s a business agreement.

That said if she’s not been upfront about payment from the get go that’s a massive red flag for me and I’d be wondering if I even want to work with somebody who is so flippant about paying you properly and promptly.

Seriously, get your big girl pants on and tell her you want payment.

Send her a soft but message like ‘hun, this is going to take like 5/6 hours! Honestly, I need to know what I’m getting paid and when to keep me motivated!

1. go into work mode. You need to approach this professionally or she won't take your seriously. Decide if you want to continue with this work or not. You can (and I think probably should) just walk away.

1. If you want it continue, decide your hourly rate, then add £2-3, because you are almost certainly undervaluing yourself. Don't set it at NMW, why should you? You didn't agree that so she has no right to assume you'll work for the literal legal minimum. So set an ambitious hourly rate.

1. Respond to her work request saying before you take on any more work you need to check that she is happy with your rates. Let her know your hourly rate and how many hours you have already spent. I would offer some of your hours already spent for free as a favour TBH, in the interests of oiling the wheels. But mention them and say she is getting them for free. And it is important that you do retrospectively bill her for some hours you have already spent, and you give no more freebies.

I would be a bit open to negotiation at this point. You haven't let her know your rates and she'd have a right to be pissed off if you slap her with a £100ph bill without agreeing rates upfront. But try to get something off her for work already done and do no more without a clear understanding that you'll be invoicing & at what rate. I suspect she will stop asking you for these "favours" once she takes you seriously that you will invoice her.

It is an absolute truism that people don't value what they get for free. You need to go in confidently and professionally to counter that.

Work out the cost of your time on the work you’ve done so far and send her an invoice. Tell her you don’t work for free and won’t be doing any more until there’s a formal pay agreement in place.

@Strawberry53 "I understand some people don’t like confrontation but this is not confrontational it’s a business agreement."

I think this is a great way of looking at it @unpaid1 to move forward.with her.

I haven’t voted but I was tempted to vote that you were being unreasonable because you’ve been so unprofessional about this. You’ve actually undertaken work without either saying “ what are you paying “ or “ cool, I charge x per hour “. They are also being unprofessional and / or a CF but they’re not here asking about it.

She might not have been paid yet so can't pay you until she does.

But you know the going rate for the work. Tell her how much you've done so far and how much she owes you to date, keep a running chitty. At end of the month if she hasn't paid you, invoice her.

Just say you have been offered paid work,so you need to know how much you will be paid so you can evaluate the offers.

As we worked in the same field she said we could work together where if she needed any help with documents, data entry I could pick it up.

Do you think she did this to trick you into working for her for free and when you challenge this she will say “its a new/growing business, I will pay you when you we start making money…we are “in this together””.

Obviously OP you say, sorry that’s not what I signed up for and cease all work immediately. I would be furious and would lose all interest in saving this friendship.

Op what would you do if you did work for a stranger and they didn't pay? Would you contact them for payment,

whatever way you would handle that, is the way you should handle this, it's no different, you have done a job, you deserve payment

If you feel a bit weird say to her you have had to turn away paying customers to do her work so you are going to need payment

Also say to her about the business bank card, "shall I also take my payment for X amount of work " if she says no, then ask her how and when you are being paid...does she own her business or work for someone else?...if she works for someone, contact her boss and ask when you are being paid for your services you provided

You need to be be direct with her, and get a contract drawn up where you invoice her for the extra work you do.

She may have been expecting you to work for her free but that is not acceptable.

Some people are like that, they continue to take people for granted until they say enough is enough.

You need to be direct with her and tell her, her demands on you must stop, she is taking advantage.

@Amirina is right.

I agree, I don't think you can just go "here's my invoice for £30/hour for 200 hours work!!" as she has not had a heads up on your rate before you did the work. She will just say "oh no, lovely friend, I'm so sorry, we didn't discuss this, I can't pay anything like that, I'm a start up, I thought you were just helping me!" And she might also say "but I only asked you to do that mail merge/filing contacts/run my newsletter, it hardly takes any time so I'd never have asked you to spend 200 hours"

I think it's v unlikely you will get anything for the work done so far but agree you should invoice for some of it with a clearly set out goodwill discount.

You might be able to ask her to pay some of it now and some later... if she really needs you to do the new task you could say "why not pay 50% of the last work, and then we can discuss the next task".... then just cut your losses and be unresponsive, if she pays you anything at all.

Don't do the new task unless with a proper contract.

As the MN saying goes, you need to use your words. I don't think she intends to pay though.

I agree. I think it will end awkwardly, however you still need to nip it in the bud.

Just text her saying 'sorry but I feel like I am being taken advantage of and you're being a bit of a chancer. I won't be ordering anything until you've arranged payment for what I've done for you already. I wouldn't ask you to work for free.'

Don’t mix friendships and business. Tell her what she owes you and put a stop to the piss taking and ‘business’ relationship. If she was serious about paying you this would have been agreed up front. Send her an invoice.

@unpaid1 if you are not on her payroll she’ll need an invoice from you. Create one for previous work inc your bank details and email it across to her. Then do the work she’s asked of you this time and send the invoice for this too.

Hopefully, she pay and you’ll have a wonderful working relationship.

If you want to keep the friendship, write off the time you have spent already and decline any more work

If you'd like to carry on the work but get paid, then you will need to split into work mode and friend mode and take the advice PP have given you. As you did this work without any terms, you may need to be open to negotiating how much it was worth. But if it is less than you would normaly charge you can spin that as mates rates but then be clear of what your rate is going forwars, and get some kind of confirmation i.e. text for a quote of hours/charge per task before you start it.

Agreed.

In the real world, consultants/ professional service firms don’t just send Clients (friends or otherwise) invoices, they talk through rates and billing arrangements in advance as you have suggested.

Sometimes the responses on MN are brilliant but sometimes they are clueless

Bill her via invoice for the work you have done so far. Use a fair and reasonable rate; don't undercut yourself. If she asks, tell her that you are willing to negotiate a different rate going forward, but you get paid your rate for the work already done unless you agree to negotiate and she makes a concrete and principled objection to it and offer a fair and competitive alternative rate.

I've vitro you're being unreasonable, mainly because of the title. It doesn't sound like she expects you to work for free, just confusion over when and how much you'll be paid.