Friend expecting me to work for free

[unpaid1]

Recently, a friend who I used to work with has opened her own consulting business and told me about it. As we worked in the same field she said we could work together where if she needed any help with documents, data entry I could pick it up. I of course said yes, that sounds great , make a bit of money on the side.

The issue is I’ve now done quite a few pieces of work for her but she hasn’t mentioned any payment? I tried to hint to her last week when she asked me to type something up for her, how would we work how I’m getting paid and she said don’t worry we will talk about it soon. She gave me the business bank card and told me to order stationary etc if needed as she would cover the costs.

She’s just messaged again asking for a task to be competed and I’m slightly annoyed now because I can’t keep giving my time up for free. How do I approach this with her without ruining our friendship? I really don’t want to finish this new task she’s given me as I know it’s going to take a good 5-6 hours 😭.

AIBU and should just help her?
AINBU and how do I ask her to pay me?

didn't you agree payment in advance? Price, regularity of payment etc? If not, you need to do so asap.

"Hi Mary, I've now done xx hours. I'll invoice you now and going forward, I suggest I invoice you weekly/fortnightly/ when I reach xx hours."

Please don’t send anything so pathetic and lame as this.

I said YABU, because you are being U not to have discussed it. Of course she should pay you!

I only voted YABU because you haven’t discussed rates and payment etc. you have a right to be paid and should refuse to complete work until this is sorted.

I agree with this. Shes ripping the pish not paying you.

You tell her that as you have living costs your priorities are working for those that pay you.

Until she settles up you do no more work.

If you're working for her on a self employed basis, you're exactly that self employed, so set your terms out to her if she doesn't like/agree to them.she can always find someone else.

If she takes umpage she's no friend, as no friend would expect you to work for free while walking away with monies payed for work they hadn't done.

Yeah. Just invoice her for the hours you've already done. Whatever rate you'd be happy to get. She's lost the opportunity to decide this together. Don't do any more work until she has paid you.

if she'd been up front & said she. needed help to get the business of the ground & could I help her out, I'd happily do that for a friend, but the way she's gone about this.... She can damn well pay up!

Stop hinting, stop waiting for her to initiate the conversation. 'Hey Jenny. That's great you've got more work coming in. I realised we haven't actually discussed rates yet. Mine is £X per hour and I'll send you the first invoice now, for payment this week, unless your preference is to run it through payroll. That new work will be 5-6 hours works, so £X * 5-6'

wow, don't hold back!😄

The point is she wants to maintain the friendship.
In order to do that sometimes you need to take a more gentle approach.
The bottom line is exactly the same, pay me. But you win more with honey as the saying goes.

If the friend is going to disappear in a huff, then you know you have done the best you could to both preserve the friendship and also draw your boundary over work and money.

So often on mn keyboard warriors are quite to jump in with all guns blazing. In real life diplomacy is a useful tool

No friend of mine would expect me to work for free. They’d be falling over themselves to pay me immediately upon receipt of my invoices some would offer additional thanks, some would even buy me dinner or a bottle of wine if I’d helped them out at short notice. Basically, she doesn’t see you as a friend first/resource second. It’s the other way round for her. So, you should feel free to act accordingly.

Make sure that your hourly rate reflects a salary equivalent to your job grade.

If you are doing day rates or rates per assignment, make the fee consultancy-type.

Invoice her asap.

She is a bad friend.

Consider some assertiveness training?

Is this person a friend? I would be re-evaluating the friendship. Does she expect OP to be a sidekick or support human in other ways?

Take it you're in such a great place money wise that you would think to diss a normal message like that? 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Could be quite a bit of cash op is losing out on..we dont know her niche.

I clicked YABU because obviously you should simply send her an invoice for your hours worked this month? If she recoils then you know not to work for free any more.

Sorry op but she has zero intention of paying you a penny. I would send an invoice and quit helping her at all ever again, paid or unpaid. But I wouldn't expect her to cough up. She clearly thinks you're doing it for free.

You should have clearly set out your rates before doing any work for her. She is obviously a user but you are part of the reason you are in this situation.

Invoice her right now for you time and stop doing any more work until she has paid this then set up a mutually agreed contract going forwards.

Find out what the going freelance rate for your skills is and send her an invoice.

And stop being a pushover.

Tell her your hourly rate and send her an invoice for what you’ve already done, including payment details.

Hi XXX

Happy to start this new task but first I would like to discuss my rate so I can invoice for the previous work.
This will take quite a long time so just want to make sure we are aligned on cost before I start it.

Or if you have discussed a rate already

Hi XXX

Happy to start this new task but I would like to sort payment for the other tasks ive done first. As you know these have taken a fair amount of time and im keen to get the payment side sorted

What a load of fucking woffle.
OP needs to cut to the chase.
This is consultancy not a friend making a few Napkins to sell on Etsy

OMG! Don’t ask how much she’s paying you or when. Just tell her.

Ask ChatGPT to give you an idea of you rate. Go onto excel and use a template from there. Add in the rate and the number of hours. Then send to your ‘friend’.

She’s walking all over you because you are letting her.

Are you 12??

Send her a formal quotation with payment terms, scope of work and deliverables etc. Ask her to confirm the work order. Consulting is cut throat and she is being a user, so have no scruples.

No need to be rude. It can be difficult for some people to discuss these sort of things even with friends

Why on earth hint about payment? Everyone works for money and it doesn’t serve anyone well to be coy about that. Just explain your going rate (taking account of tax and holiday pay if you’re self employed) and don’t accept work from her until she’s paid you for what you’ve already done. She’s no friend if she’s taking the piss.