Friend expecting me to work for free

[unpaid1]

Recently, a friend who I used to work with has opened her own consulting business and told me about it. As we worked in the same field she said we could work together where if she needed any help with documents, data entry I could pick it up. I of course said yes, that sounds great , make a bit of money on the side.

The issue is I’ve now done quite a few pieces of work for her but she hasn’t mentioned any payment? I tried to hint to her last week when she asked me to type something up for her, how would we work how I’m getting paid and she said don’t worry we will talk about it soon. She gave me the business bank card and told me to order stationary etc if needed as she would cover the costs.

She’s just messaged again asking for a task to be competed and I’m slightly annoyed now because I can’t keep giving my time up for free. How do I approach this with her without ruining our friendship? I really don’t want to finish this new task she’s given me as I know it’s going to take a good 5-6 hours 😭.

AIBU and should just help her?
AINBU and how do I ask her to pay me?

Stop being a mug. Why are you scared of her?

How did you do even an hour of work without firstly talking about fees and payment.
Quite pathetic op.
she’s taken you for a mug and you are playing the part!

Just send her an invoice...

She is risking the friendship not you.

Tell her you're preparing and invoice for work completed before you do anything else and an hourly rate is needed. Don't agree to anything less than the living wage.

"Sorry, but I can't accept any more work until we agree payment for the things ive done so far. Happy to chat about a suitable rate"

Honestly op she likely had/has zero intention of paying you & her business model was to hope you were generous with your time.

She doesn't seem as bothered about your friendship as you are...

"Hi Jane. Thanks for this. I should be able to get that completed by Wednesday. Regards the work done thus far, this has taken 10 hours, which means that up to and including today, the amount outstanding is £210. Please can you send this to my account this afternoon : sort code is 40-15-22, account number 01634187. Thank you! I was thinking that going forward, when you pass me a job, I'll let you know the number of hours it's likely to take, and then you will have an idea of what I'm going to bill you for. Hope you're having a good week! Speak soon, Laura x"

Hi ....cheeky fucker (or friends name if you prefer)

Please find my invoice attached for the work I've completed so far.

My bank details are......

I will be delighted to commence further projects upon receipt of the above payment.

Kindest regards

This.

As others have said, OP, she's not your friend.

Invoice her for work done and say you'll be prepared to do the next task IF she pays you for work already done.

Why is it her job to discuss payment? Send her an invoice.

Be less available. You have other things to priortize e.g. taking dog for a walk, visiting family, getting hair done. Less instant reactions to texts. Then let her firmly know your time is valuable and not for free. Work out what hourly minimum rate you work for....consider tax and national insurance. She may well backlash with a Sad story or anger but that is not your responsibliity/problem... that is hers.

If she’s a friend she should understand that you cannot work for free. She’s set u a business so presumably she’s getting paid for all this work. Simple I’m sorry but I can’t continue to complete this work without us coming to an agreement about how much I’m being paid. I have considered this an I think an hourly rate of £… is fair. To continue I need x amount by … then any work I carry out will be invoiced to you monthly/ weekly/ fortnightly etc with payment to be made by …. I’m guessing as a consultant you are self employed so you will need to keep records for tax.

There was a post on here the other day about a teenager doing some gardening work and not being happy about what they were paid. The general consensus was the rate should have been agreed in advance and that was a life lesson.

I think the OP can say can we work out what you owe me, and going forward I’d like x per hour. But I don’t think she can unilaterally say this is what you owe me for the work already done when nothing was agreed.

This. Just a very simple non confrontational message. There's nothing here to get offended over. If she fobs you off, just reply saying.

We can talk about me doing more work after we talk about pay.

She is too busy to set it up or talk about it? Match her energy. Your to busy thinking about money to work for free.

You’ve had lots of good responses here. As others have said, a true friend would pay you for your time and efforts. I do think you need to be more assertive, whilst I wouldn’t mind giving a friend a little bit of advice or doing something small like an hours work to help their small business start up I certainly would expect payment for any regular and time consuming work afterwards.

Being expected to do 5-6 hours work for free is cheeky and unfair. Do not just hint, you need to speak up for yourself. I would personally message back “Hi X, I’m happy to do this work as agreed at the start but it’s quite time consuming and I haven’t been paid yet for anything I’ve done. I think we need to agree on an hourly rate before I continue any more work and have something written down? I’ve currently done X amount of hours work and this will take me 6 so X in total xx”

Ask her directly for payment , if she was a true friend she wouldn’t take advantage of you and put you in an awkward position .

Send her an invoice.

Do no further work until she has paid you.

Update?

In order to keep it professional I would not be using any negatives/ ultimatums. So I would not be saying “I won’t do XYZ until the outstanding payment is settled”.

The above is a good response.

2 choices: continue to be unpaid & allow her to take advantage of you (NOT something a proper friend would do) or tell her you’d like to formalise terms/payment/back pay before you do any more work. Simple. If she’s a b!tch about it then you’ve lost a user, not a friend. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Agree with previous replies, invoice her and ask for it to be paid before doing any further work. Anything softer, asking for a chat about it, will just result in her palming you off again. The nicest people can be horribly selfish when it comes to avoiding paying or underpaying self employed people, it’s bizzare but you have to be firm or you’ll end up working for nothing or a pittance.

Yes, diplomacy is definitely needed. But there is no need to be a walkover either.

Send her a consultancy contract with your day/hourly rates in and an invoice for the work already carried out.

Are you out of your mind?
Send her an email with a breakdown of when you worked, what you worked on, and how long.
Ask her about payment and provide a figure that you expect.

A real friend doesn't expect free work.
She's not working for free, why should you?

If she pushes back, you can ask her did she really expect you to work for free?

We all get to know other people in our line of work; why not pass on their details to her, as you are so busy, giving their contact details and tariffs?
I have done this in all good faith myself when I did tutoring, as in, "Fully booked with pupils at the moment, but X and Y do good work and charge £x per hour"
Admittedly this was trying to help someone who did not owe me money, so not the same circumstances, but the reality check of seeing what your value is in the real world could be a salutary check for her.
Unless, of course, she is fully aware of the going rate but sees you as a soft touch?
Are you that desperate for friends?