Is it unreasonable to be frustrated by a guest who says they eat anything when they actually don’t?

[funinthesun22]

My MIL is staying with us over the bank holiday. When I asked in advance what she’d like to eat, she said she eats anything and was happy to have whatever we usually have.

Friday dinner was a vegetable and chickpea but apparently she hates chickpeas and dried fruit in savoury food. Saturday breakfast (yogurt, granola, fruit) didn’t go down well either. I took her to M&S so she could pick things she’d enjoy, but she kept insisting she was fine and didn’t add anything to the basket until I said we’d planned tacos for dinner she said she didn’t know what that was and didn’t sound keen, so we bought an alternative dinner for her.

At lunch I made a salad with homemade dressing. She didn’t like the sound of the dressing and asked for salad cream which we didn’t have. I offered vinaigrette, olive oil, or mayo as alternatives but she turned them all down and had a plain salad. She also asked for a few additions we didn’t have, despite us having been in M&S two hours earlier offering to buy food. We’ve got a BBQ planned today and I’m hopeful now that I know more of her dislikes but still not entirely sure.

AIBU to find this frustrating? I genuinely don’t mind catering to a picky eater. I just need to know what she actually likes. But every time I ask, I get “I’ll eat whatever you’re having” when that’s clearly not the case.

I wouldn’t eat breakfast cereals at all.

https://weetabix.co.uk/bix-fix/great-british-breakfast/

Yogurt lacking there. I get it. I can't eat it in a morning. Love itany other time

Just spotted it. Do we have one from premier inn? To get all sides because Leonardo is quite... Pricey isn't it

I totally understand why you find this frustrating!

She is probably trying to be polite and not put you to additional expense. She probably thinks she does eat most things - because it doesn't occur to her that you will serve her things she hasn't come across - I guess she has no way of predicting this. If you have never heard of tacos, you can't imagine your response to being offered one.

Go through with her the meals you are planning to serve for the rest of her stay, and ask her to flag up anything she is concerned about? That's all you can do, really.

I can tell you are doing your best, and it must be a bit stressful.

This! My late father was the sort of person who'd 'eat anything' - but by that he meant roast dinners, fish and chips, salads made from traditional salad vegetables with salad cream (even mayo was a new one on him!). Chickpea dishes, tacos and the like wouldn't feature anywhere on his list and that's OK. Might need to modify your meals when she's visiting.

Leonardo isn't a pricey hotel chain, no. It's around Holiday Inn level.

And do people really still have fried breakfast at home as a regular thing? I thought that went out decades ago.

My parents are a similar age to your MIL and would not eat any of the food you've offered except the salad (I think you said there were seeds on it, you'd have to skip those too!).

It is tricky when they come to stay as they also don't eat any form of curry, Mexican, Italian, Chinese food.
Definitely not yoghurt and granola for breakfast.

I do think it's hard for you not knowing MIL but if I have any guests I don't know I would have bought in a wider variety of food before their arrival. For breakfast some pastries, jams and probably a variety pack of cereals, more eggs, some sliced bread.
Plenty of fruit and other snacks.

We host quite often as don't live near family and sometimes it's teenage cousins or whatever and always buy extra food they might like, it all gets eaten eventually.

Likewise I would buy fruit juices, flavoured water etc. Tesco do a kind of pick and mix of juice boxes for lunch boxes (orange, apple, pineapple or mango and apple) so you could buy some of those and see what guests go for.
Lots of people don't like garlic, or they eat it but not every day - it would cause havoc for me and most of my family to eat it every day.

She should have told you of any intolerances she has.
Now you know and can plan safe meals for her visits.

I like to consider myself quite easy about breakfast, but although I like granola I definitely wouldn't want it with plain yoghurt. My idea of easy, is cereal of some kind if there is something I like (no overnight oats, weetabix, shredded wheat or all bran please), porridge, (NOT readybrek!) toast or bread (or crispbread), a bacon or sausage sandwich would be fantastic as would croissants or pastries (but I wouldn't have them at home), fruit (but not berries), I could just about manage scrambled egg on toast but in general I'm not that keen on eggs. A cheese sandwich would go down well too! Even kedgeree would be nice. All of that seems simple to me, and quite ordinary. The kind of thing most people might be able to provide (except maybe the cooked stuff and the pastries). Not all of it at the same time obviously! I imagine your guest was probably thinking of toast and/or cereal as that really IS a bog standard breakfast, even if it's not what YOU generally eat.

The granola was homemade and low sugar. Not sure if that makes it better or worse! The yogurt was plain Greek yogurt. I’m surprised at the suggestions to cook a breakfast because in this heat I’m avoiding adding heat to the house as much as possible. I’ve just remembered we have frozen pastries in the freezer which I’ll offer to bake when it’s not a million degrees. I don’t eat meat and we tend to avoid processed food especially with a young child so our version of a cooked breakfast is homemade beans on toast with eggs or tofu. Since chickpeas are out, I’d assume any pulse which isn’t blended is out, and even I wouldn’t serve tofu to someone who I didn’t know liked it!!

My dad was very traditional with food but would never claim to be easy going about it and would definitely buy his own food and sort himself out in that scenario.

MIL sounds rude and difficult about it.

You seem to have mistaken the OP as operating a posh B&B. If you are going to want something other than what is available in the hosts home you buy it for yourself when given the chance (as the OP did) or bring it with you, or offer to buy breakfast for everyone.

When I stay with an aunt she only drinks instant coffee. I have only bean to cup at home but put up with instant for a few days, buy the odd coffee when out and about and don't expect her to up her coffee game just because I'm there.

I’ve never heard of Leonardo, a relatively unknown hotel survey is not likely to be a true representation of the eating habits of the whole of the U.K.
Of course people still eat a cooked breakfast! If you have any doubt about this then you may want to visit any local chain restaurant or regular cafe on a Sunday morning. They queue outside my local one and tables have to be booked in most others. I would say it’s even more popular now than ever.
You seem completely out of touch with the rest of society. I’m guessing you live in the South East of England?

Late 60s? Wow. She sounds like my dad who was a generation older.

Bread or toast? You can get organic seeded expensive stuff or just make your own. I have a cupboardful of home made jams - all made with foraged fruit.

I think one of the problems might be that you don't eat meat - at all. If your MIL is not vegetarian she won't be used to vegetarian protein substitutes. I do eat meat, but not all the time, however I actively dislike chickpeas and beans. I enjoy lentils - but I would use a ham stock or something to make them (in my mind) tasty.

If you are not vegan, quiches, omelettes, cheese on toast, baked potatoes with cheese or beans are all 'ordinary' food. I have a vegan brother-in-law and cook him roasted vegetable tarts (I use ready made pastry which is vegan, but no doubt you would prefer to make your own), stir fries with lots of vegetables and nuts, garlic mushrooms in a tomatoey sauce, a baked spicy lentil and rice dish and a chestnut and mushroom bourguinon. All things I am happy to eat myself. Several of those are fairly 'ordinary'.

I grew up working class in the 1980s and with a dad who only liked food you could have obtained in the UK in the 1950s.

It made me absolutely dying to try anything that was different from that narrow world and I am a total foodie and genuinely would eat almost anything.

It's not down to class background, it's down to individual choices.

Leonardo's = Jury's Inns

Oh come off it. Your op referred to Saturday breakfast, when the weather was only just beginning to heat up.

I noticed the time-slip too.

As a PP pointed out, Leonardo is the newish name for Jury's Inn.

You're very wrong on my personal geography, and I was questioning cooked breakfasts at home. Queues to eat them at cafes are no proof of that, and probably rather the opposite.

The temperature is regional surely?

I am glad someone clarified about Leonardo's. I was feeling that this hotel chain must be one far beyond my wealth!
But Jury's Inns were/are basically like a Premier Inn as far as I remember, and although not luxurious they were more than fine when I've stayed in them. I never had breakfast in one as I just don't 'do' breakfast (another reason I take guests shopping if I have them)!

Yeah, that was probably more a case of ‘We surveyed 2000 of our customers via the medium of a prize draw, and asked them what they would like in their free breakfast at their hotel, available 6-10am including weekends as an all-you-can-eat running buffet. Don’t be shy.’

Well most people I know also do have them at home. Why wouldn’t they? Not sure exactly how the queues for cafes prove the opposite?You seem to have a negative view of cooked breakfasts which I find bizarre! When we have friends and family staying with us and I give them a choice of a cooked breakfast or an alternative, they always opt for the cooked option.

Thanks for the comprehensive list of things you like for breakfast.

Did you miss that FOUR days ago the OP clarified that she had offered toast and cereal as well as the granola?

I can't believe people are still arguing about granola!

Not eating yoghurt, most eggs, berries, instant porridge or any form of granola makes you a picky eater I’m afraid.