Another holiday ruined - damaged the hire car - think I’m covered but DP being awful!

[Whyismycatanasshat]

Long story short, we’re on holiday with a hire car and on the way to return it I’ve quite deeply scraped both the alloys down one side, having pulled over very sharply and in to a curb whilst taking evasive action. Genuinely couldn’t avoid doing it, it was that or be crashed into. DP acknowledges that bit.

DP is absolutely furious with me, adamant we’re going to get a HUGE bill and I know he won’t let this one go for the rest of our break - he started the moment we left the drop off; it was after hours drop off so no one to discuss it with.

Given I purchased the zero excess cover and crash damage waiver and the zero excess says

“Zero Excess (ZE) is an optional coverage available to the renter. The purchase of ZE reduces the customers liability to 0 Euro in cases of:

• Damage to the vehicle's bodywork
• Damage to the tyres, rims or windscreen of the hire vehicle
• Theft or attempted theft of the rented vehicle”

I believe I’m right to tell him to shut the hell up, especially given he won’t drive a car abroad and he’s a professional haulier!

Of course you aren't being unreasonable about this, but it is interesting

• he won't drive abroad (so obviously has no legs to stand on, criticising your driving)
• you have titled the thread "Another holiday ruined" which rather suggests this isn't only about scratched alloys ?

How the hell does he have the right to be furious with you when he knows you absolutely had to take the action you did? What is wrong with him?

Obviously this sort of thing is no fun, but why are your holidays always ruined?

Tell him you aren’t driving abroad with him again as he’s such a knobhead.

@JustGiveMeReason I honestly think he’d rather be at home when we’re away; he finds something to complain about and goes to town on it and it grinds the DC and I down. I have offered to take the DC and go myself but he insists on a family holiday. My SIL says their Dad was exactly the same. Can’t bear to enjoy themselves.

@TheJuryIsOut He will be worrying about the money side but also he has form for this rubbish.

If you purchased the zero excess cover you should have nothing to worry about! (Though of course I know car hire companies will find any excuse to get money out of you). Hope he stops stressing soon, nothing you can do to change it now. V

So he acknowledges that you did the right thing taking evasive action but can’t cope with the consequences?

He is being abusive and out of order if he is blaming you for this OP.

I would tell him his behaviour is making you wonder why you saved his life, that you will not allow your hol to be made miserable for scratched wheels for which you are insured, and get on and do your own thing on the holiday while ever he keeps up any hostility.

@Wincher I did, always do, so that if something were to happen we didn’t need to stress. He will be worried about being charged but he can’t be away and be happy.

@PermanentTemporary He can’t just relax, he has to pick fault. He’s rarely like this at home. SIL says their dad was the same on holidays when they were children.

@Stoicandhappy I’ve told him that just now and he says he likes public transport! He’s full of crap.

@Tabarnak This behaviour really only happens on holiday. If it hadn’t been the car it would have been something else.
The unavoidability of the thing he’s fuming about is what’s got me so whipped up in annoyance myself.

I’d loose my shit with him and tell him to either shut up about it and enjoy the rest of the holiday or piss off home on his own. Then if he fails to achieve either I’d be ditching him for the rest of the holiday and filing for divorce on my return home. I don’t have time for that shit.

@notanothernamechange24 I’m out on the balcony with wine having told him to get his head out of his arse.
if this was regular behaviour - it really only happens when we’re away and apparently his dad was the same - I’d have gone long ago!

If he’s generally an arse on holiday just stop going with him. Take the DC and leave him at home.

Ask him about his childhood holidays. Does he remember how his dad behaved and how it made him feel? Because that is what he's doing to your DC. And what they may eventually do to your grandchildren if he doesn't break the cycle.

I’m sorry OP. He sounds horrible.

When are you due to come home?

@Delphiniumandlupins both him and his mother have rose tinted glasses and “don’t recall his dad being like that” but SIL does and he’s got to have learnt it somewhere.
The elder DC have seen him with new eyes today and don’t want to go out with him tomorrow.

@Solaitt We’re going home early Wednesday, the elder DC have commented on him being horrible for the first time ever.

@Stoicandhappy we have one family holiday a year. I take the dcs away myself to see family twice a year and after today I’ve realised we don’t miss him on those trips.

It's not your cat that's the asshat!

Is he more anxious when abroad?
if hes generally a bit of a worrier, being in another country would add to it.
Once we had an issue with the bus tap on / off and looked like we maybe fined and it was pretty hard to concentrate afterwards.
Realistically 2 damaged alloys cant be that expensive surely?

If you have zero liability you just drop off the rented car and walk away.
For peace of mind (foreign country, language barriers, possible traffic delays, quibbling staff and stress of airports) I always get it.
OP, find it on the documents and tell “sourpuss” (insert relevant insult) to lighten up.
I cannot stand holiday killjoys.

That made me laugh!
I miss the original asshat cat, new cat is not such a dick. Maybe that’s why DP is.

What does he want? Next time to go head onto a crash, just so he's happy? He's being a twat.

If he wants to be moody on hols, just go off. Leave him, grab the kids and go off for the day until he learns to be reasonable.

He's being a dick in several different ways simultaneously. You won't have to pay anything if you have excess cover.

You're both unreasonable to do driving holidays, if he doesn't want to drive, and you're not happy about doing it all the time.
It sounds like he overreacts and gets anxious about things. Lots of people are like this, and it doesn't make them bad people, but it stresses out those around them, and can't be nice for them. Get him to get some help.

@Sweepyed I’m not sure if it’s anxiety or learnt behaviour from his Dad.

Wow! Accidents happen, I hope you’re OK. You sound great -your partner not so much xxx

@Pistachiocake I don’t dislike the driving, and it’s been necessary this time so the DC could visit a certain thing before we ended up where we are now.
if it wasn’t the car. It would be something else.