Catholic guilt?

[Felixfox]

I only went to catholic school for 3 years (first 3 years of school) and I am CONSTANTLY feelingly guilty . Is it the school or just me? It was a terrible place. I remember one of the fathers coming into our classroom just as a pupil was leaving as he was feeling sick. Father promptly sent him back to his desk for us all to pray, this boy was physically sick but we had to carry on with the prayer. His parting shot was a question. To a bunch of 6 year olds. Do you all pray before bed at night? We all mumbled yes. To which he replied,’Good, because otherwise you will go to hell.’ It scared the crap out of me. V complicated story with parents and my brother and I going there. My mother was a nun and left
’God will never forgive you’ and so maybe to usage some hideous and unfair guilt from that was to send us to a catholic school. The point is, I am nearly 50 and I still feel guilty all the time about pretty much anything. Will it go? I’ve tried counseling. What do I do? How do you leave a part of yourself behind?

My friend is catholic and gay and I’d say it pretty much ruined her life, the deep sense of guilt. No matter what assurance she got it still remained. So sad.

The Catholic schools I know, the priests have largely spent long periods of times at her majesty's pleasure not on normal court exercise.

I think they're the ones who should feel guilt, not the pupils. The creepy things that went on, decade after decade, cover up after cover up...

Be grateful to be away from them...

I went to a Catholic primary school, and came out totally unscathed and unaffected by it all. I never took religion seriously, and all the god stuff was just part of being in that environment. It was otherwise a decent school.

I was brought up in a Protestant high church family, so although not a Catholic I can identify with this because religion really inhibited me for a lot of my life.

It was instilled in me that God could not only see everything I did but God also knew every thought I had. I found this terrifying and so guilty for any thoughts about sex or anything else I had been taught was not pure.

It took me many years to free myself of this feeling my thoughts were not private.

Religion really messed with my head OP so I can empathise with your Catholic guilt.

That is me in a nutshell!

I am so sorry for your friend. That just adds a whole heap of guilt upon guilt upon guilt. I hope she finds her soul mate and woman for life.

Indeed 🤮

I suppose what I’m asking though is how do I let it go? How do I leave it behind. I don’t want it. It serves no purpose. How thou?! How does a person rid themselves of guilt? That is of their own imaginings?

I went to catholic school for 14 years with plenty of nuns and strictness and a very strong Catholic family life and don’t feel a jot of guilt about my life! Why would I? What are you feeling guilty for?

Well that’s exactly it. When I look logically at my guilt it is mostly ridiculous. I think it might stem from my first confession. I honestly couldn’t think of anything I’d done wrong so I just said I had been rude to my parents. It was a lie to meet the priest happy. Although of course it didn’t and I all the more bemused to think that saying 5 hail Mary’s and the Lord’s Prayer would somehow fix something I had never even done!🫣

It sounds like you need specialised counselling.
I was brought up anti religious, or secular,
I’ve don’t things I still feel guilty about but it doesn’t consume me, more like I thinK of those things when I’m having a bad time and being hard on myself, I’m not scared of being judged or going to hell, I don’t believe in hell.
it doesn’t sound like you’ve actually done a thing to feel guilty about?
which probably makes it more complex in a way.

Yes it does. And thank you for responding x

The guilt isn't yours to harbour .

i'm catholic but in canada and i don't know why but posts about catholicism on mn are so supper strict.
the nuns i had were so easy going and understanding, the priests and monks super helpful. there are some really aware online priests and nuns to follow.
i really like the simplicity of sister on fb mary jo sobieck. it doesn't sound like this is what you are looking for but maybe if you listen to those who are progressive it may help you.
never once thought about god watching in a creepy way, just available to help us pick up and continue to strive towards wisdom. he knows why we made the choices we did (like the stupid teen shit most teens do) and forgives.
before hell is purgatory again where we have a chance to come clean and receive forgiveness.
most priest are very open to the realities of the world, temptation and working through trouble.
in my books, holding on to fears and worries wondering if you are forgiven and that terrible guilt is the work of the devil, because god forgives.

but as you say you found the experience traumatic and it may stem from your mom life and none of this may be of help.

Hi OP, I'm not Catholic but C of E. I realised a lot of my guilt (And like PP was told God heard all my thoughts!) is actually me not feeling worthy enough of going to Heaven, so going to hell. Could you be feeling the same?

Read the bible and pray. You will find a different story there than the one you were taught. 💖

@custardlover then you are / have been impervious to the whole point of Catholicism. Lucky you. Here's 10 Hail Marys and 3 Lord's Prayer to save us all from the depravity....did you enjoy the nuns whipping your shins if you skipped in a corridor ?

Quote " it doesn't sound like this is what you are looking for but maybe if you listen to those who are progressive it may help you."

Why would school kids be looking for anything religious? They are kids. And it is adults who are literary putting the fear of God into them with religious indoctrination.

I think the story of Jephthah from Judges 11 should be taught. The one about the daughter who is sacrificed.

Or the stories about Abraham pimping his wife out.

Or the multiple genocides, the slave laws, the dashing of babies against rocks.

All the good stuff... if one is a sadistic lunatic.

:-)

Things written about doesn't equate to God's approval. Here for OP support only.

I am not sure what that means. But surely if anyone thinks they may have been scarred by any religious education, then the conversation is open to the whole thing ?

For example. If the OP had attended a Satanic school and the OP felt that had affected their life, then what is taught at such a school would be discussed.

You don't know what was taught beyond what has been shared. You threw out parts of the Bible to attempt to publicly discredit my belief in God. But, I'm here to support OP. Please try to do the same as to not derail the thread.

I mentioned parts of the Bible in response to a post suggesting to read stories in the Bible that are different to what is taught.

Now, if someone is suffering from religious guilt and they suspect it is from religious indoctrination as a child, I would have thought the best course of action would be to tell the truth. That is, that there is no God, no Satan, no burning hell for eternity.

There is no Jesus with a clipboard standing over people's shoulders, ticking off good and bad bits that decide eternity for that person.

In fact, as evidence for that I will use the Bible. 1 Tim 2:12: "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." (KJV).

Applying a bit of logic to that. If a woman teaches a man (context: religion?), then any woman teaching a man is committing a sin, per their own teachings. Therefore, because women teaching religion to men is a sin, the teachers are breaking their own laws without fear of hell. Thus if they are breaking their own rules, then nobody needs to pay heed to any of their rules.

Does that logic make sense ?

It does to me.

As long as you're happy, that's great 👍

Here is an alternate.

If my DD has nightmares about monsters under her bed, The thing to do is to reassure here that there are no monsters. That these monsters do not exist.

But what does Christianity do ?

It says there are monsters, and the monsters want to catch you and toss you into eternal fire. But you can fight the monsters by saying magic words to a magic man in the sky.

It's really no wonder that religion can, and does, mess people up.

Edit to add, the magic man in the sky also says he will toss you into the fire.