To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

[HardyPlumEagle]

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

Going back and reading everyone's posts now.
Didn't realise this was a thing despite being under multiple teams. Thank you so much for this!

Thanks everyone.
I have gone today by myself instead. May be the cowards way out rather than challenging them but I am mentally unwell at the moment and cannot be bothered with the stress.

I had tried to negotiate a train that would have arrived about 11.30am but that was too early apparently. So I have just gone myself today.

Have a lovely day OP.

Enjoy your relaxing day out OP 👌

Have a lovely day 💐

Enjoy your day - but definitely hava think about how much your are "enabling" your son or possibly inadvertently restricting him. I am sure if he is able to have a girlfriend he could make a train journey with said girlfriend unless of course she also has medical reasons that preclude this. I think you just need to be a bit more confident of your own deicisons and not worry so much .

OP also says DS met his girlfriend at a supported work experience placement, which kind of suggests she may also have some issues.

I hope you have a lovely day.
Mind yourself.

It absolutely is not, and the comment is not only bizarre, it’s ableist. OP has been very clear that DS has SEN and met his girlfriend at a supported work placement. Or are you of the general opinion that disabled people shouldn’t have personal relationships ?

Have a great day, Op.

‘That doesn’t work for me’ is something I learned on Mumsnet. My daughter who also has very little ability to realise how she impacts other people’s lives, reacted very well when I said that. I don’t use it often as she does live independently but it is a really useful tool for pushing back.
Have a really lovely day today.

@HardyPlumEagle So pleased to see you went on your own today. Have a lovely day - and don't let your DS make you feel guilty when you get home. He may be ND but that doesn't mean he can't understand that he can't always have his own way.

Enjoy yourself OP, don't give it another moment's thought.

Not at all . My adult autistic son has personal relationships which I encourage . Not a GF though , he wouldn't cope with that level of closeness.

I don’t think that is the cowards way out, you have put yourself first and went! Good for you!

Let them take ‘their car’, and give themselves a ‘day’ out that suits them.

I hope you have a great day out. I'm sorry to hear about your mental health being in a bad place, here's hoping for some better days ahead for you.

She’s already explained that she meant the girlfriend’s parents took her son on a trip in their car. The car of the parents driven and owned by the parents.

Also, the OP has had her day out now.

YABU. Your son is a young adult with a girlfriend. It is not your responsibility to get them there. Cut the apron strings.

I’d compromise on a slightly later train, say 10:00, but definitely not an afternoon train. I would pay for GF in these circumstances, but it depends on your finances.

I find this comment shocking.
Surely you must understand that someone might struggle with public transport but be able and entitled to have a relationship?

"not confident with several trains" ??? What age are they, 14??? Get your head out of your arse and tell them when you're going, and if they want to tag along, fine, but don't go changing your plans!!! Jesus wept.

This - exactly l would be very happy that the young couple wants to join me.

Are they? I'm beginning to wonder 🤔

This! You can be perfectly lovely and regretful that it won’t work for them this time, but, it’s a no! Reclaim your day.