Men... are u okay? What is the problem?

[LavenderSkiesxo]

I think this will be removed / deleted but i am not saying anything untrue. Or factually incorrect. But here goes...

Since having my little girl just over a year ago I have started resenting men. I dont know why as my partner isnt bad. I just see them in a whole new light.

Firstly, years ago women couldn't vote and it was the done thing that they would look after the children and home and men were the providers. But, many women (not all!) Now have careers, go to work, earn their own money. We can now vote. Aswell as have a career, many women still take on majority of the housework and childcare. Not because men always refuse but they just dont, we do things automatically. Men, just dont think.

The other day I was driving to visit family and saw a car with its hazards on in the slip road... they have broken down i thought. Nope. A man was standing behind his car pissing. It got me thinking, ive never seen a woman pissing at the side of the road. We just wouldn't, so how do men find themselves in this situation? My dog can hold its bladder until "walkies" so what's the issue?

I read that men commit like 91% of murders, most rapes are men and men mostly abuse their partners. Men are more likely to commit suicide, men dont open up and speak about their feelings.. some men transition to become "women" and fight to enter women spaces. I know women transition to men but you dont hear about them!

I just dont understand. Men.. what is the actual problem??? Apart from sperm, what is your actual purpose??

The posts on here today.. oh my man was messaging a coworker inappropriately and he cant get her moved as it'll be suspicious... WHAT!! Nah he has played his part, otherwise it would be as simple as, hey HR this person is being inappropriate and its making me uncomfortable, here are the messages 🤣🤣

Or the other one, my man spent lots of money on my credit card and refusing to pay up... WHAT🤣🤣

What the fuck, we all play our part to with enabling such shit behaviour.

I love this thread, it has everything on the first 2 pages

• a person who takes their shoes off to take a piss
• multiple people who have a nice dad
• history lessons about the right to vote
• false equivalences galore
• 'dangerous jobs' like lion tamer presumably
• someone who's daughter would be sad if anyone was ever mean about her brother

-etc etc

Keep up the good work OP

Did make me chuckle 🤣🤣🤣

You're scared of men, because enough men are associated with scary things to make that a sensible action to take.

You realise that not all the men in the world are scary, but it's better safe than sorry.

I don't think anyone can blame you for resenting that situation. Back in 2012 we called it "Rape Culture" and we fought against victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and to ensure society as a whole put the blame back on rapists/criminals, including improving how things are reported to the police and how we educate men and boys about consent, autonomy, and bodily rights. It's where "SlutWalks" come from.

It doesn't mean that your fears are all true and we'd be better off somehow eradicating men as a concept/type of human.

I had a current account before 1975. Maybe I didn't have a legal right to one but I had one.

Yes, I did. Need to proof read before posting 🙈. I thought be obvious what I meant though

Ahhhhhh, you're gonna love it on Mumsnet. 😆

Welcome @LavenderSkiesxo

And yes, sadly and unfortunately, much of your observations and musings are right, about most men. The Not My Nigels don't take long to appear on this kind of thread of course.

Unfortunately, it doesn't get any better. Tale as old as time. Women get the shitty end of the stick, always have, always will. Throughout their entire life. And much of the shit that women have to endure is caused by MEN.

As long as women have the babies, women will always be the ones who get the shitty end of the stick and have all the childcare pushed onto them, along with most of the domestic chores/grunt work/wifework.

And yes, many women DO put up with a lot of shit from men. Some men are fine before women marry them and have babies with them, otherwise most women wouldn't bloody marry them! Some women know what they're like but put up with it because (for some women) having a man who is a bit shit much of the time is better than being alone. Also, babies. Many women want them, and unforunately, they need a man to help them get one. Many men want babies/children too, but don't want to lift a finger to help with the childcare, or with the housework, domestic duties, or childcare. It's left to the women the vast majority of the time.

Not my Nigels are gonna Not my Nigel though. There are more men that are useless than there are men that aren't useless not though.

Someone from the NAMALT brigade and the Not My Nigels will be along soon to say my post is nonsense.

It's not, it's really not.....

.

it must be the case...like all internet forums....there is specific audience drawn in, no matter what they say

Men do say horrible things about women on Pistonheads.

I think your OP is very extreme and I know a lot of men who are wonderful, compassionate, clever people who contribute positively to society in myriad ways so I disagree with much of what you've said.

Ben, I also do think a disproportionate percentage of men (by comparison with women) behave atrociously. I see them daily in the street, pissing outside when it is totally unnecessary (i.e. not an emergency), ignoring traffic rules in cars, on bikes, as pedestrians, behaving aggressively, dropping litter, spitting, watching stuff on their phones with the volume on full and no headphones (agreed, this is girls/women also but I see it much more commonly in men than women). And that without even going into official criminal statistics mentioned by you and many others, which cannot be ignored. Not to mention the war-mongering attitudes that are predominantly pushed by male politicians.

It's telling that if I knew there were only women on the streets, I wouldn't be concerned about my teen DC getting home safely at night.

I had a look and I think you're somewhat right - the involuntary celibate reddit forum was banned several years ago as an extremely misogynistic site.

However, if anyone is interested in more current sexism, the men's rights subreddit might be of interest (mixture of valid concerns alongside massive sexism). https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/

She's right though.

It isn't just men pissing outside is it? They literally piss on the floor in their own bathroom and don't clean it up. (Another threat on here.)

It's the whole 'Don't shit where you eat' argument. Except men do, because they know women don't want to walk in their piss.

Presumably men want sex with their wife. But then they treat her like a maid, don't go 50/50 on the domestic load and wonder why she no longer wants to shag them.

Or with the kids. Leave 80% of it to her and then wonder why she's too tired for sex.

I read an article this week about it being the logical choice for women to have a family with no male partner. And sadly, I think for most women, a family without a man is easier.

Most of us on here are heterosexual. And I think most of us would prefer to raise families with a partner. But if he makes it harder than it is to go it alone, why would we bother?

It’s tricky because I know a ton of genuinely good, kind men. But I do see the wider danger and threat of men in general. No-one can deny the murders, rapes, trafficking, drug dealing, gangs, paedos, domestic abuse, road rage, catcalling, dick pics, wars….

My father was dead and I didn't have a husband. How did I get a bank account?

I voted YANBU but there’s one correction.

All rapes are committed by men mostly on women and sometimes on other men or children.

Pissing outdoors is, as a PP had pointed out, largely a convenience thing because penises.

Behaviour more generally is partly nurture but also very much testosterone related. Look at many other male mammals. The males are more likely to live isolated lives, to procreate with any female they can get their hands on, to fight other males at the drop of a hat (but especially around mating season).

So male humans are more inclined to violence than women, have more problems with communicating, are more isolated and less socialised.

Experiments in the US in which women were given testosterone showed an increase in these behaviours (especially a notable increase in promiscuity) as well as physical manifestations of testosterone, such as increase in body hair growth etc

What do you think they’d say about us?

My mother was told she had to have my dad come with her to change her name on her bank account when they married. To be fair it was just after the law changed and she calmly explained to the cashier and then the manager that it was no longer the law.

I genuinely feel sorry for the women who think this is reasonable. But then I guess on another website somewhere a man has made similar sweeping generalised statements about women- all pathetic, lazy, weak, money- grabbing or whatever they think, and loads of men are agreeing. Hey-ho.

Okay, I was wrong to say ALL men but do you think its unreasonable to say men commit most crimes, abuse etc and we have a problem overall with men .. cultures etc and we need to understand why and change that

I agree, but there are also a lot of parents who don’t instill good values/set boundaries.

I don't know why my bank was different but I got a current account when I started a new job when I was 16 and had to be paid into a bank. I just went and opened an account. It was Lloyds so maybe it just varied and other banks had different policies.

Ffs I mean most men commit crimes not all men commit most crimes.

But what makes you think this question isn’t being asked, and hasn’t been asked repeatedly for over half a century?
That’s why I’m amazed that you seem to think you’ve uncovered a lost tribe, or spotted a new star in the heavens.

I’ll give you one reason why it gets nowhere, even as the effects of the more toxic aspects of modern masculinity spread and increase their inherent threat: because until men themselves do the asking, it will not be heard.

??? Most men are perfectly law abiding!
Some men commit crimes.