I have a spending problem and I need some harsh truths

[helpmepleasepls]

I’m in my mid to late 20s and I just cannot save money to save my life.

I am very lucky to be able to save about £600 a month from my wages. After that and all my outgoings I should have anywhere between £350-£500 a month left.

I just cannot control myself. I don’t know why. I’ve just had my birthday and I’m determine for this year to be different but it seems to happen each month. I just have no idea what I spend it all on. I end up going into my savings and justifying it by saying “I’ll replace it next month”. Obviously I never do.

I’m going to go through my bank statement and identify things that can be canceled, I’ve gone through and cancelled loads of subscriptions and I am going to delete my card from Apple Pay on my computer and all the rest.

I know I need to change but I just don’t know how to. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Please, how do I stop this?

I’ve also said the “leftover” goes to my emergency fund at the end of the month. I don’t know how many more times I can explain that

I know you've dsid it multiple times. But you've been really passive about the very good advice you've been given.

That isn't budgeting though... you don't have leftover st the end of a month. You need to put it away at the start.

I don’t know how many more times I can explain that there is a surplus but at least for the first couple of months I would like to leave it in my account at the start so I can trust I don’t have any other payments coming out that I might’ve forgotten about.

You can explain it as much as you want. We all know what you mean... 🙄
You are quite aggressive to most posters for someone asking for help

What do I mean?

I don’t want unsolicited advice. I have asked about reducing spending.

And people have given you tonnes of advice. There's no need to be rude

I’ve asked you a question.

Yes the people who have given genuine advice about reducing spending, I’ve responded to and taken on board a lot of their suggestions.

😂 Good for you

You can get very good interest on monthly payments of eg £100 pcm to £250pcm with various building societies. it would just leave your account on a pre agreed date each month. It would be perfect if you left it alone for a few years, just building up over time.

You need to build spend-free days into your routine. Start with food. Batch cook meals at home and freeze them (tastier than a takeaway, cheaper and healthier too). Take lunch to work. Make yourself a nice tea or coffee in the morning - don't buy one on your way in to work.

Try to walk more - it's free and great exercise

Take up low-cost hobbies like reading, writing, drawing etc

Buy good quality clothing, don't get tempted by the nice (and cheap) dresses etc from primary, h&m. Buy good quality clothing and limit yourself to one or two items every 2-3 months.

Drink soft drinks if you're having a night out. Just cut down on alcohol basically. Will save you a fortune.

Going away for the weekend - Take a cool bag and meal prep everything (or thereabouts). Will save you loads as you won't be buying as much food and drink while out and about.

Also - transfer money out of your current account and then hide the card/don't make it easy to transfer the cash back again. Also start saving a smaller sum to begin with like £200. Slowly work your way up to saving £600. Build the frugal habits slowly and carefully. That way, it will be more sustainable and long-lasting. If you jump head first into a very pared-back, minimalist lifestyle, you'll likely cave and overspend. Which is what it sounds like you're doing atm. So start by saving a smaller amount and just taking some of the steps outlined above.

I have this problem too. I am actively trying to tackle it. I'm a few weeks in. Instead if my usual high monthly on clothes..I have managed £110 on sale stuff for the summer for DD. I looked at what I was spending on in detail. Was rightly horrified and now I'm reigning it in. You know you are a soft touch if other brands that you have never purchased from start sending you catalogues in the post. One from aspiga yesterday. Varley last week. My info has clearly been sold passed on.

I am trying to get my joy from other places. The questions I now ask are - do I really need it? Is there something else I have tucked somewhere at home that does the exact same thing? Can I get it significantly cheaper elsewhere? I don't have all the answers but I am now determined to do something about my spending. Hope you can too.

I am a student money adviser and recently attended some training led by May Fairweather regarding neurodiversity and finances. If you are neurodivergent, impulse control is something many people struggle with but you may want to look at her website to look at the work she does.
https://fairweather-adventures.co.uk/about-me

There may well be other people who can provide financial counselling but maybe you would benefit from talking through your difficulties with a specialist in this area?

Ummmm my advice would be to buy nothing new. I can be a bit crap with money - I told myself this year I’m not buying any clothes or makeup - 5 months in - I’ve not bought anything. Trying to shift a whole load of stuff on eBay tho.

The thing that helped me was doing the Martin’s Money Saving Expert spending tracker. So eye opening. Took an entire weekend and was painful but I am spending differently (and less) since then.

OP I think you need to plan ahead a bit more with your budget. I'm my monthly budgets I also account for the following:

• birthdays
• Christmas
• clothes ( winter coat, summer clothes etc)
• any days/ night outs
• skincare/ make up/ hair/ nails etc

So I have pots on Monzo for the above (think there are some others too) and find it helpful to break down my spending this way.

I would start with stopping 1 spend for a month. No coffees out. When it becomes a habit only eat out once or twice a month. Once you get your habit under control it will be easier for you. You can’t quit cold turkey or you will fail. Good luck.

I had this. Age 25 - 33. Compulsive spending on clothes.

I never got in 'bad' debt for it. But wow. So much money wasted.

I'm 37 now and don't even feel the need any more.

For me it was totally a mental issue. I was unhappy deep down. I was thinking if I just managed to buy the perfect outfits, and look my best 100% of the time, then my life would be perfect and lovely and I would be desired and respected and admired.

Anyway. I gradually realised why I was doing what I was doing.

These days I hardly spend anything! I haven't bought clothes in about 3 maybe 4 years. (Especially since I have loads sofa lovely clothes already, from my shopping addiction days).

For me, arranging different pots for savings etc did NOT work. I would just transfer the money back out. For me, the only thing that worked was coming to understand what I was doing, and also the TIME it was costing me. Shopping is SO time consuming! Storing & tidying lots of clothes /stuff is so time consuming! I realised I was enslaved by my stuff (on top of having to slave away for the money that I used to buy it all with originally!). Moving it about - from one room to another.

Then, I also saw the "Minimalists" documentary on Netflix. I'll never be a full on minimalist. But. It selves I to the reason WHY people shop compulsively (for example, did you know the acquiring 'stuff' makes humans feel immortal) .

You should watch it. I've watched it about 10 times!!
As I say, I hardly spend anything these days. I do, however, allow myself to buy a takeout coffee most days. It is something I enjoy, a small moment in my life each day which I really like. I'm not giving it up.

What you’re doing is just paying for stuff, you’re not budgeting. Budgeting is giving every penny a job, is seeing the bigger picture.
Budgeting is managing your cash flow, and you’re definitely not doing that, you’re just allocating funds for your fixed expenses on a month to month basis and the rest is chaos, because your variable expenses are not accounted for. You wouldn’t have ‘left over money’ if you looked at the bigger picture. What you would have instead is a fund for everything.

People on this thread are trying to explain this to you, and you’re not listening, which is your prerogative, and also the reason you’re in this situation.

you spend because you are young and don't realise that material items do not make you happy. rather than having a savings account. open a nsi premium bond account you can save upto £50,000 there is a prize draw every month where you can win money and it take 4 days to draw money out. so that may control the urge to spend. ask yourself do you spend when you are bored, fed up,lonely. then when you save have a goal of what to spend on ie holiday etc

Because that’s not true.

I have gone through, allocated it all.

Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world. You are wasting your best years of it.

Get started NOW. Look at how it jumps at year 10. Actually life changing.

This is an illustration of what that £600 could be if you put it into a low-cost global tracker fund (for example something similar to a world index fund) via a Stocks and Shares ISA.

I was like you with the same sort of disposable income anount at your age and it is my buggest regret. I could have truly changed my life if I just did this.

I can’t lie, in the past investing has scared me. But I realise now it was because I was wasting so much of my money.

Yep same.

Just don't buy individual shares of individual companies. Buy into a FUND which is managed for you by experienced people. (Who pick the companies'/shares in that fund for you using their experinece and manage it)

You are absolutely not sitting there reading stock market news every day wondering whether to sell or buy etc.

you drip feed money every month into it and forget about it

"How to own the world" is an excellent book and decently narrated audio version.

Also my finances never changed for me until I started budgeting for the month ahead.

I would assign every £ that I anticipated getting before I got it.

I then check in once a week to see if I am still on track or if I need to play any excel solve it 😂