I have a spending problem and I need some harsh truths

[helpmepleasepls]

I’m in my mid to late 20s and I just cannot save money to save my life.

I am very lucky to be able to save about £600 a month from my wages. After that and all my outgoings I should have anywhere between £350-£500 a month left.

I just cannot control myself. I don’t know why. I’ve just had my birthday and I’m determine for this year to be different but it seems to happen each month. I just have no idea what I spend it all on. I end up going into my savings and justifying it by saying “I’ll replace it next month”. Obviously I never do.

I’m going to go through my bank statement and identify things that can be canceled, I’ve gone through and cancelled loads of subscriptions and I am going to delete my card from Apple Pay on my computer and all the rest.

I know I need to change but I just don’t know how to. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Please, how do I stop this?

I’ve worked out all spending over the next 7 months (until the end of the year):

35% goes to fixed living costs
36% to savings
19% surplus which goes to the emergency fund

That’s made me feel a lot better, like I can get a handle on this

Do you have a budget?

You’re joking? I’ve posted it multiple times

Sounds like a good plan.
Enjoy your holiday!

Thank you!

I think it’s just the process of laying it all out. It has felt like my lifestyle is far too expensive for what I’m being paid, but in reality it’s just my spending habits. In some ways it’s an easier thing to fix, because I don’t need to cut back (in terms of holidays, phone bill etc.), in the same way that I would if every penny was genuinely accounted for in a contracted agreement. But in other ways it’s quite tough as I now need to really address the issues behind my overspending.

I meant how much you earn and a rough idea of your monthly expenditure. Then you can come up with a plan.

I meant to say it feels horrible when you seem to fritter it away.

I think you are getting there but I would do a full budget break down including a 1000 emergency fund and I do zero based budget sow every £1 is accounted for each month and it the same each month. When you do a budget you need to think of all the things you need including the boring things that drain your budget like an emergency dentist/vet/ car bill . Or gifts for people. And an allowance for essentials that you can’t predict like an expensive medicine or something.

you will get to point where you get joy checking you bank balance and see the figure grow each day.

Do you have enough between now and your holiday to fund it?

Well I think you sound very sensible for someone in their 20s. In fact I think my advice would be to allocate a smaller percentage to savings. You don't want to be too drastic and go from one extreme to the other. It's great that you are paying into a good pension too. You'll be fine.

You haven’t posted a budget, that a very loose estimate.

a budget fixed each month and there is no “leftover” there is income, expenditure and savings.

expenditure is essential and non essential

have a look at Martin Lewis Budget

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

I think you are probably getting there anyway but my advice to save if you find it hard is
a) Make it hard to spend money (which you've done by deleting your shopping Apps and making the savings account awkward to get into)
b) Recognise the triggers that lead to you spending money and avoid them. When do you spend money? Do you go into shops? Why, if you don't want to spend anything? Do you buy things you fancy off shopping sites? Block the sites, put your phone away, take up yoga (or whatever).

I’ve said multiple times the “leftover” is going into my emergency fund but to begin with I’m leaving it in my account for the month so that I can account for anything I’ve not uncovered such as direct debits/subscriptions.

I’ve posted a breakdown!

Yes, I should have more than enough £1,400 spending money across 9 days, plus accommodation paid for!), it’s just stopping myself with the spending. When I lay it out, it’s obvious the issue isn’t things being too expensive, but my spending.

a couple of years ago I had a spending problem. Bags and bags of designer baby clothes all outgrown, loads of toys, all kinds of stuff..
I quit by going cold turkey. My budget was literally zero. Food, bills, nothing else. Do it for a few months and it completely re shapes how you spend - then you can introduce small treats and appreciate them rather than feeling a loss. I’m debt free now and have savings.

I don’t think it’ll be possible for me to go completely 0, because I have things I’ll need to pick up across the next few months, like skincare. What I’m going to do though is stop stocking up (I used to buy 4 months worth at a time, I have no idea why) and just buy what I need.

oh I also keep a list on my phone “things I want to buy” and update it when I see something I want- I occasionally buy something when I have some spare cash. I also keep it on the list in a different colour so I can see “things I’ve bought” and feel gratitude for my steady job and having what I once really wanted..

I think you need to look at what void are you trying to fill with all this shopping. Are you in debt?

I do 6 monthly accountability checks.
On a piece of paper, I divide it into 6: personal development, health, friends and family, work and hobbies.
I try and put 3 things aren’t quite working for me under each of them. And every week I look at it, I might or might not do anything about it that particular week, but I’m constantly thinking about it.
So, June to December 2026 I have a plan, something I’m working on. No : from next week I will…crap, just realistically, eg: my joints are seizing: I looked for a Pilates class near me, I paid for a block of 10 and because I paid, I am going! I revise every 6 months and I’m not beating myself up for it, there were obviously factors I didn’t consider and that’s why I’m still stuck, so I try and sort it differently.
HTH

Stocking up can make sense if you're doing it when things are on offer.
There are obviously things that you need to buy - can you restrict yourself to only one day of the week that you buy all the things you need, and you don't spend anything on other days? If you need to spend on something like the bus fare your mentioned, is there an alternative, like buying a ticket in advance?

Watch the Rebel Finance School sessions which are about to start on YouTube in June. This will help with money management.

you are probably frittering it away, that or you aren’t accounting for sinking costs like Christmas, birthdays etc

My goal isn’t to try and get everything to 0 - I need a bus ticket, things like that. It’s the random spending that I want to get a handle on. That’s why I’ve set £100 a month for that sort of spending.

I’ve definitely not done that in the past! But I’ve built it in moving forward

I’m the same so no real advice. I get so stressed about things I ‘think’ that they I need… could be from a blanket storage box or nice tea and coffee pots to a jimmy choo handbag. And then one I purchase those, it’ll be…’well I need another option just in case’… I think I have some kind of anxiety that needs addressing with spending. However, I’ve just had a baby and since him being born in March I’ve almost instinctively spent nothing and instead putting money in an ISA for him… so it might change when / if you have kids

I did a no spend month earlier this year where I actively tried not to spend anything I didn’t have to, including eating out. It was a challenge I actually ended up enjoying, and it reframed how I thought about buying things. I had a big clear out of the house too to get rid of things I didn’t want/need and am trying to stay clutter free!

I think we can all be a bit frivolous with money, life is expensive too. Im trying to intentionally manage money better lately & have found some great tips -, 50/30/20 rule, open a bank account for "fun" money & transfer an amount in to that each month & use that money only for fun, save what you can afford - anything is better than nothing, £600 is too much if youre needing to dip in to it, allow yourself coffees/meal deals - maybe twice week, not every day. I think small manageable changes while still living, is all that's needed.

I only need to dip in because I’m spending so much. If I wasn’t literally frittering money away on nothing I’d be able to save probably £700 a month minimum

But you need to budget the bus ticket. You need to budget the skincare etc.

You've said a few times you have kissed your budget but that isn't a budget... its a very summarised high level overview. The math doesn't even work (your % splits come to 90%)

Zero based budgetinv isn't about spending all your money, it's about understanding where every penney goes. So there is no such thing as leftover money.... it gets a heading whether it's "travel" or "emergency fund" etc.

I’ve said I don’t feel comfortable posting the full breakdown. I’ve budgeted for transport etc., and that portion of my budget comes to about £600 a month - for all expenditure. I’ve said multiple times my issue is frivolous spending and I need help with that, not with my everyday expenses being cut down.