AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Well I would find it unreasonable if I did it.

It's money off the bill and I would be choosing not to share that reduction. Which I would be really embarrassed to do. But yes, others see it differently.

Like I said, same as petrol money. If I am giving someone a lift somewhere I am already going I wouldn't expect an offer of money and wouldn't accept it. But if I were getting a lift I would happily offer money as I know others don't see the "I'm going there anyway" thing in the same way.

Because if they’d gone as a couple, they wouldn’t have had to behave rudely and wouldn’t have pissed off their friend.

I think its a bit cf you expect them to fund your dinner

Friends of ours did this. They asked to meet us at a restaurant convenient to them, but not us. They then used a voucher for most of their half of the meal. It was breathtakingly rude I thought

You edited after I posted

I don’t understand why you think you can’t go out with others if you have a cash voucher to pay for your meal?

you should have said something at the time if you’d shared yours before - I can see how you thought a precedent was set

im also wondering if you expect people to magically know what you are thinking given you said you thought it was obvious to posters what voucher meant when asked to explain (because there a a very many setups)

I think you are absolutely right. It’s very rude of them. If they had a gift voucher that they wanted to use for themselves, they should have gone out just as a couple.

Would not bother me, I understand the logic. The voucher belongs to them and they are using it like cash, hence they are paying their half - with a combo of voucher and cash.

Yes it would have been nice if they shared it but there is no obligation as the voucher is their property and up to them to use as they want.

I'm pretty tight too by nature so this kind of scenario makes sense to me.

Friends are precious, fall out with them on something more important.

Thanks.
That’s how I see it. Unthinkably rude.
Mad so many others don’t see it. Glad they are not my friends. 😂

But it’s basically cash, so what’s the odds? If someone had given them £100 in notes and they had used would you have minded? If not, what’s the difference?

If you go clothes shopping with a friend and you each decide to buy a dress, would you expect her to split the gift token she got for her birthday with you?

There isn't, she has been asked and is unable to answer.

I had a similar interaction recently. A friend was given a Gleneagles voucher for £150 and asked if they would like to come use it with her for afternoon tea but would I drive as she is nervous outwith our town.
No problem, arranged a date, thanked her and we set off on the 190 mile round trip. I had the normal afternoon tea at £75, she had the champagne afternoon tea at £100 plus three more glasses of champagne as ‘well it’s not like I’m driving’. With a service charge the bill was just shy for £275, and she duly handed over the voucher to be take off the bill then said so shall we call it £70 each with a tip?
So my day cost almost all of my afternoon tea plus about £40 in fuel and the pleasure of being a chauffeur. She then told a few of our friends how she treated us to afternoon tea using her voucher.

Don't ask sensible questions.

I don’t think you need to worry - they are clearly not mortified

it’s a shame instead of speaking up you are considering not going out with them again..they won’t know why unless you say

Could we please have details of what the voucher was that you used and shared and what the voucher was that they used and didn't share?

Why does it matter how they paid their share. I’m also struggling to understand why you’re going on about wanting to be with generous people etc who would behave as you do, when you’ve your hand out wanting half their voucher.

I had this exact same scenario a few years ago.

except it was quite a niche restaurant, not the type of place I would usually go but happy to give it a go.

then the bill came, the voucher was produced, and it became obvious why they had chosen that particular place.

I was gobsmacked.

as you say, just go out by themselves then, I can’t imagine why these people invite others to join them in these instances.

Not the same at all. You might have gone shopping together but you are buying seperate things for your own use. It's not like sharing a meal.

Don't understand the "it's just like cash" comments either. A voucher that says specifically here is £100 off your meal is a reduction in the cost of the meal. It's not like having a pre-paid card you happen tk have already put £100 on.

Oh, they will 😆

They can’t have missed her sitting there with a face like thunder at having to pay her own way.

As you (perhaps deliberately) are not clarifying what sort of voucher your friend had, I think it's safe to assume that it was some form of gift voucher with a monetary value not a % discount. So many (most?) of us would not expect a friend to use a gift they had been given subsidise their own lunch. It smacks of being a bit of a cheapskate to me - I would be mortified to think I felt entitled to someone else's gift...

The norm surely would be that if you've invited someone to lunch then either the invitee pays for the whole thing, or (by agreement or past practice) the bill is split - generally 50:50. If it is being split how each individual chooses to settle their part of the bill is none of the other persons concern - card, cash or gift voucher. Expecting a gift card to be applied to the total really just means that you expect the other person to pick up more than half the bill Which is cheeky. If I pay by card would you expect some of the avios I have collected as a result?

Your action of using a gift card you had to reduce both parties bill was generous, but it would have been more generous, and socially acceptable, if not the norm IMO, to just settle the whole bill in that case.

In summary, % discount - apply to the whole bill and either the invitee settles the balance in full, or it's split 50:50 after the % discount. Gift card - either the person extending the invitation pays the whole bill and uses their voucher towards it, or the bill is split 50:50 and the recipient of the gift card applies it however they choose, but don't expect them to share it with you, as that would mean that they'd be picking up more than 50% of the bill, which is a teeny bit entitled IMO :)

Perhaps one for William Hanson - who I am sure would just say that whoever extended the invitation pays, which is how I live my life :)

The voucher is essentially cash.

I mean if it was me and we were splitting our food by who had what (ie: me and DH pay our food, you pay yours) I would have taken the money off the shared drinks.

How am I ‘unable to answer’. I’ve been pretty clear.
I'm mortified as I wouldn’t dream of behaving like this. Unimaginably crass. I like the manners I was brought up with. Even if I’m a dying breed darling 😘

This
They could have bought a prepaid voucher as you get cashback and just topped it up with a card payment

@Dinnerdrama No need for the fake second hand embarrassment in that case