AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

I've asked several people and their reactions were all "what's the difference between that and paying cash?". They were surprised by the question. All older age group, perhaps that makes a difference.

The lack of reciprocity does change things but I'm holding judgement on that until we know what the source of each of the vouchers was.

I’d share. I’d see my good fortune as my friend’s good fortune too if I’d asked them to join us. If I didn’t want to share I’d just go with my husband. Who I’d also share with btw even if the gift voucher was mine alone!

I doubt you will get an answer to that as if OP says (as I suspect) "my voucher was for 25% off the bill and theirs was an anniversary gift of £100" it will change things and show that she is make her seem grabby...

Yes I'm curious as to why that particular question keeps being ignored.

There's been plenty of discussion around that. I don't see it as different, not for something that was in my possession and how I would use it anyway.

I think it only matters to the people who wouldn’t share. I’d share both if I’d invited people to join me (or if they’d invited me to join them). If I wanted to keep either voucher option to myself I’d not invite, nor accept or not use in company.

I mean, a gift voucher for dinner in a restaurant is usually intended to be shared, isn’t it?

I know from experience it can make it quite an expensive gift for the giver. You always aim to cover the price of dinner for two.

This was answered ages ago. If you’re that invested in this then maybe read the whole damn thread. It clearly says both vouchers were gifts. Both were for £100. I’m sorry you seem unable to grasp this basic fact 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve got second hand embarrassment from your second embarrassment.
I think you were rude expecting them to use the £100 on the total bill and you think they were rude not splitting. But when I go out I only pay for my meal with tip.
I think things like bill splitting should be discussed before meal, and only the people who want to split should. Everyone else can pay for their own meal.

Is it? Where does it say that? If I get a gift voucher for a restaurant it’s just for me, maybe I am selfish but it’s my gift. What other gifts are expected to be shared?
But I’m not rich enough to pay for other people meals.

Who would you share with? Partner, siblings, parents, kids? Or would you still just take it off your bill and they pay theirs?

Depends on the voucher - if it was £10 off, then I'd expect it to be from my half only - especially if it was a gift card.

If it was 20% off then thats different, you'd just use it on the whole bill surely!

However, I'd mention in advance if I saw any promotion so the other person could also benefit by downloading the code in advance or something.

I just know if I were getting a restaurant voucher as a gift for a friend or relative, I’d always try and make sure it was enough to cover dinner for two.

It’s far more usual for people to dine out socially with a partner or friend/s than on their own.

Same, and there’s absolutely no issue with them sharing it. I’ve paid towards them having a nice time for their birthday.

Me?

I’d probably use it when dining with either my partner or sister, obviously for both of us.

If I were using it in a larger group situation, I’d use it to get a reduction off the bill as a whole, but tbh I’d be less likely to use a gift voucher in that situation. If I did though, I definitely wouldn’t use it on just my share of the bill.

I do think the social norms are different in different groups though, but at my age (50s) and in my social group using it just for myself in that sort of situation would not be a good look.

Anyone I had arranged to go out with. If I didn't want to share I wouldn't invite extra people.

I was more asking the people who wouldn’t share. I’d only use the voucher if I was happy for it to benefit everyone I was eating with - my friends and family. Colleagues and acquaintances it’d probably stay in my wallet. There’s no scenario where I’d use it just for me if others were there.

@Harhar I wouldn't share in the sense that I wouldn't use the voucher on that visit. I'd wait until the next time I visited with DP to use it.

Perhaps that makes me tight, but DP and I often get restaurant vouchers from our parents at Christmas and I don't see why our gift would subsidise other people's meals out (especially to the tune of £50).

Obviously there's people on the thread that would automatically deduct theirs from the total bill, and I think that's really generous of them, but I don't think it should be an expectation and it wouldn't bother me at all if someone else used a gift voucher on their half.

My friendship group are bill splitters rather than pay for what you ate. I can’t imagine anyone using the a voucher for themselves. I wouldn’t be ‘mortified’ if they did, but it’d be unusual. And it’s definitely not something I’d do myself.

Me and my friends are also bill splitters.

I don’t see how someone using a personal gift voucher changes that. They’re still covering their own proportion of the bill, they’re just using a gift voucher instead of cash or a bank card.

Just pondering really. Do what ever works for you.

Yet you keep ignoring the request to know the source of each, which would indicate whether one was more personal and special to the recipient than the other.

I'm quite prepared to accept that your ex friends were money grabbing meanies by not sharing their voucher with you knowing that you had shared yours with them if they were of equal "specialness".

How on earth does it make a difference who it was a gift from? If it's from Aunty Jean is that different to it being from your mum? Even if it's a bonus from work it's still just a voucher that allows you to have £100 off the bill. The provenance is immaterial.

It’s very stingy and rude to do this when you’d shared your voucher before. There’s no way I’d do this. I’d either keep the voucher and treat my children and Mum or use it to pay the first £100 of the bill and split the rest.

If someone shared a voucher won in the office Christmas draw, then I would not expect them to expect to share my birthday present from my husband.