AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Who bloody knows. The number of people who were ringing their knickers about this is mental. Gift card, vouchers, gift vouchers, discounts. I explained early on how the situation played out. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Who knew so many folk would just about have an aneurysm over it 😂

I think people are just confused by your extreme reaction of being mortified and embarrassed and having to write on the internet that a friend split the bill with you and you were gobsmacked they didn’t pay towards your half with a gift they’ve been given.

I answered this above. I might. I've never been given cash and instructed it's been to be spent in a specific manner. That's really odd to me. Chances are I'd have spent the cash on something random anyway.

If I really ringfenced £100 that was given to me then yes, i would still see it as a gift which equals in effect money off the bill so I would most likely still put it to the total bill not my half of it.

If I was out with friends and the bill came and they said, for example, oh hang on my DM has given us £100 for our 20th wedding anniversary to spend in this restaurant so of course we’ll put this all towards the bill as how embarrassing would it be if I didn’t, I’d actually feel SO bad as the friend taking a gift off them like that.

It’s not objectively strange to think sharing a gift voucher when having dinner with someone is polite, even though you find this behaviour strange @TennisLady.
It’s actually a very normal, usual social custom for many.

Then we would be at a comedic impasse if we we were dining together!

I didn’t say I find it strange to share a gift with friends, that’s not the issue. It’s that people are saying it’s mandatory to do so, otherwise it’s mortifying and embarrassing.

See this is weird, as I have differing answers to this.

Book club: No, the voucher can be used anytime for anything at anytime.

Spa day: yes, it can only be used on that one specific activity, so if having my friend their would make my day more enjoyable I absolutely would treat her by using the voucher for us both, then both paying the same balance, rather than going alone.

Concert: No, it's irrelevant where the cash has come from, as far as your friend knows it's your money, they either want to go or they don't, but they would pay for themselves or you'd go alone, no awkwardness at all.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if we went to something we've mutually agree on paying half for if they used a monetary voucher as a method of payment for their half, percentage voucher I'd expect them to let me benefit from that too.

The problem is OP thinks their relationship is reciprocal and the friends quite obviously think it is every man for themselves, just a mismatch of ideals.

It’s not mandatory, but it can come across as rude not to imho. It depends on the circumstances of course, but in the circumstances OP described, yes, definitely rude.

That’s what I find strange. I’d be embarrassed for myself thinking friends should be sharing all their gifts with me and finding them rude if they didn’t. Seems rather grabby and to me, that’s rude!

Why did you even bother posting. Most people think YABVU, but you don’t so that is that. Next time just say that you’d rather just have no questions avout clarifications and only people that agree with you.

I disagree with your last part. All we know is that OP is hung up on the specific payment method of that one meal she partially treated these friends to.The OP shared her voucher because she thinks it's the done thing, and is displeased that her friends don't hold the same belief.
They might cover another meal for her in the future with cash or card, they might have already done that, or provided more or fancier wine at the get togethers in their home. Or they might not be in a position to treat back financially in the same way the OP has. They might provide other support to OP that she doesn't return.
A reciprocal friendship doesn't revolve around money spent on each other. That's a transactional friendship.

In the same way as 'most people' wanted Brexit 😂

I’m with you op it’s embarrassing on their part. If I had £100 voucher I’d use it when I wasn’t out eating with friends

Why?

The vote is almost split down the middle actually. Maybe the same 52% of people voted Brexit. There’s definitely a camp of every man is an island 😂 It has been interesting to see everyone’s (fierce) opinions on this.
Why does anyone bother posting anything? What a strange take.

Looks like she just wanted to bitch about her friends online. As you do.

Because you said it was a voucher which implies a % off or a set amount over a certain spend

Fair enough. 😂 I’m not from the UK but still can’t understand why people voted the way they did. I used to order so many things from the UK, but can’t anymore. 😭 I was abroad in Europe last weekend and saw many disappointed Brits who wanted to take food (cheese) back, but they had signs that it was fine apart from if you were from the UK. Oh well.

The concept is the same though, the book gift card, the spa gift card, the cash. They are all have a monetary value which has been given to you. You could sell the gift cards and turn them into to £s. The spa one, you admit is because you value your friend’s company (I would too, for what it’s worth), but there would be no obligation for you to split the bill, and I’m sure your friend wouldn’t think you are a CF if you didn’t.
Your friend might think you were a CF if she had previously treated you to a reduced price spa day, not that treating someone is a reciprocal arrangement…. The point is if OP had made it clear from the start she had put £100 towards the meal the four of them had enjoyed, and her friends had not reciprocated, then I think the answers would by 90 % YANBU to think you friends are CFs!

The voting is the way it is only because of you refusing to clear things up about the stupid voucher or not voucher.

It implies nothing of the sort.

Yes it does. That's why so many people asked you to clarify, or have made comments around it being a promotional voucher.

What do you call a book token? That could be called a gift card or a voucher or a book token. All means the same thing.

I actually have known people who if they heard you'd received some money lately would expect you to cover everything. It's a different money mindset, found where poverty is common.

It would depend on the type of book token, and whether I was asking if my friend should spend their book tokens on me.