AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

I’m with you OP it was a cringy very mean spirited thing to do. I can’t even imagine anyone I know doing something like that

No, but it's a bit unfriendly to accept half the OP's voucher if you're not going to share yours.

If you bought a bag of crisps and shared them with me it'd be a bit mean of me to then go and buy one for myself and not share with you. Usually friends reciprocate gestures like that otherwise the friendship could be considered a bit one sided.

Well a bag of crisps is significantly cheaper. And what if you shared your chocolate with me in between?

I've treated friends to dinner. Sometimes they treat the next time, sometimes several occasions later, sometimes not at all, even though they are using the same payment method I did. It doesn't matter, because I treated them to dinner at that time because I wanted to.

If you were single then you’d have to spend all your gift cards on your friends!

Maybe they didn't know they weren't going to be able to return a nice gesture. Or maybe they knew they couldn't at the time but hoped they would be able to one day. Maybe they will do so next time.

Not everybody's finances allow them to buy dinners for their friends in nice restaurants regularly. I'm lucky that I could. But there are levels of generosity I couldn't reciprocate in financial terms.

In the past a wealthy friend treated me to a holiday I could never have paid for myself. He knows I could never do the same for him. He did it anyway because he's a friend and he insisted he wanted to. It was something he could easily do for me. I've done favours for friends myself that cost me less money but took more time and effort.

Your approach to reciprocating financial favours strictly in similar terms may not work well for everyone, especially if friends have markedly different income levels.

How on earth is them paying their share of the meal “rude.” The rude one is the OP expecting her mates to pay towards her meal and being mortified when they didnt!

Agree with this comment.

I would totally expect my friend to use her voucher to go towards her half of the bill and I would happily pay for the food I had ordered and eaten.

I wouldn’t expect someone to share their voucher to treat me. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if someone used their voucher, I’d be expecting to pay for 50% of my meal costs, whether I used cash / card /voucher.

What, because they didn’t pay more than their share of the bill?! Unless of course you mean the OP who expects friends to cover her share too.

Since when are gift cards tacky? Even high end restaurants sell them.

I’d be mortified!

Why is it different to cash? This full question is as simple as that. The o.p and the people agreeing with her can not answer this question with vague vibes of etiquette

Yeah that’s how I feel. It’s not that I feel ‘entitled’ to have someone pay for my dinner, it was just so far from the circles I move in that it really took me by surprise. Nobody else I know and socialise with would dream of doing this. I can imagine the brass neck I’d feel pulling that move. What a riddy.

Why would you treat the voucher differently than cash?

Why would you treat the voucher differently than cash?

I disagree with your first point but very much appreciate the sense and empathy you have put out here

Why is using the voucher different to using cash?

I genuinely admire your commitment to your point, even though I think it is...not quite correct. Can you not see the difference between a voucher which could give a discount to everyone and a voucher which can be used instead of cash and therefore it's use effects the o.p not one jot?

But you’ve not recognised at all the other point of view. You’re very focussed on calling your friends rude and not seeing the other side.

if they had been given £100 in cash as a present and used that for the meal would you also expect them to use it towards your share too?

What was rude about it? Specifically? What difference does it make them paying for their bill with a gift card v money?

You complicated it initially by calling it a voucher.

Voucher is usually a percentage off.
Gift card is a present.

Calling it a gift voucher doesn’t make sense.

If it was a voucher for £100 off if you spend £250 then absolutely it should be split if it was a gift card then no it shouldn’t/doesnt have to be split

Why is the voucher different from cash?

Why...actually see all my previous replies

It isn’t. OP just wanted the cash off her bill too.