AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

not gifting someone £50 isn't penny pinching

Also coming from a diverse group of friends where some are very high earners and others are on tight budgets I can categorically say that splitting the bill equitably has yet to ruin a night out for any of us. If that's all it takes then you need to reassess the quality of your friendships.

Wow that’s so rude.

they should have applied it to the whole bill or saved it for when they were on their own

I would love to know how you split a bill in a group like that equitably.

Some people often show generosity to friends and family. Some even show generosity to complete strangers. It’s a way of thinking and living that isn’t purely transactional. You should try it.

Lets hope your 'friends' don't read this and discover what a high opinion you have of them.

OP, it's hard to decide whether you're being unreasonable without clear info, which a lot of posters are asking for. Are you able to answer the following?

• When you were 'invited' for the meal did you believe that they were footing the whole bill because they had invited you out?
• Was the 'voucher' a gift card present from someone or a voucher such as £100 off when you spend £400 type of thing? I think this makes a big difference. We were gifted restaurant vouchers as a wedding gift last year and I would not expect to share those, but I would share a general freebie, especially if it had conditions such as overall bill or number of diners.
• Did the amount you paid exceed your share of what you actually ate and drank?
• Was the voucher you shared previously the same as theirs - gift card v general money off?
• Are these friends often 'tight' in your opinion or is this a one-off?

I think the answers to these questions would clarify the situation

OP you sound very judgemental and entitled.

Why are you so mad you have started a thread on the internet because someone didn't give you £50 towards your meal.

Seriously, you need to self reflect. You are the grabby one here

You don’t get it now… you are being rude.

My expectation was based on her literally saying I have a voucher to cover afternoon tea, not that she was covering £5 of mine and spending more than the voucher total on her champagne afternoon tea for one plus another three glasses of champagne all whilst I drove to facilitie the day.

My objection is that she is happily telling friends she treated me when she didn’t.I have had spa day for two vouchers before and taken her where she paid nothing.

Not CF of the highest order, I can see why someone might think the voucher was just for their benefit, but it's a bit weird & I wouldn't do it

By what people choose to order. It's very simple...

but if they don't no one should be angry at them.

That is the only thing wrong in this scenario.

Friend has gift card, it's hers she used it to fund her meal.

OP is furious, that is not kind or generous of spirit.

I'm heading towards the first occasion was a conditional spend, eg "£x off a meal for 4" and the second occasion was a personal gift voucher.

Either that or that the couple had forgotten about the first voucher that was shared.

Or they aren't very nice people.

This^ plus you need to have the means in the first place to be able to be generous...

For all op knows the friend got a large unexpected bill between making the reservation and going for the dinner and decided to use their voucher so they didn't need to cancel on op as they wanted to see her.

It would mean we'd all get a nice night out a lot cheaper than it should be. Isn't that what close friends do for one another?

Id say if anything they ordered more. They had dessert but we did not. They had an extra glass of wine each. I wouldn’t have batted an eye at this and just split the bill without thinking ‘oh they ordered more’. But if we were splitting hairs, their ‘share’ of the bill would have been more.

We spend time with these people having nights in over a few drinks so have plenty time to socialise without huge expense. They could have caught up with us this way if they were skint, and saved the voucher for a couples meal.

If it was purely affordability, I’d understand. But they have several holidays abroad each year, just bought a new car, etc etc. Maybe a grand case of all fur coats nae knickers.

I’d have used the voucher to lower the whole bill and then halved what was left. You’re right she’s right as!!

You wouldnt dine out with them again because they paid for their meal how they wanted to? That is crazy.

OMG you are so judgemental.

WTF.

This makes more sense from your perspective for sure, but I still think you could be right about the fur coat no knickers. You never really know so I think you need to decide how good a friend they are whether or not you give them the benefit of the doubt and put it down as a one off or not.

OP

You had a voucher, they had a gift card.

Do you understand the difference?

I'm sure she does, ffs. It still means they don't pay cash on the night because the voucher or gift card's preloaded.

Again, why does it make a difference if they paid via card or voucher, why pm earth do they need to use it when yoire not there, or you feel you’re entitled to share it; that’s the most grubby grabby thing I’ve ever heard and now you’re counting up who had what.

If I was given a voucher as a present I'd use it for my meal.

If it was money off I'd apply it to the whole meal. But given the waiter was so confused, I am thinking it was a money off voucher. In which case I think it's mean and the OP is right to be annoyed.

I'm not OP but I don't see a significant difference. I would treat them the same if I was the one in possession of said voucher/gift card. Given how close the vote is a lot of people must also consider them the same