AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Don't know why you are trying to change my mind. A £100 voucher for a restaurant is to me a £100 discount for that restaurant and I would feel like a dick if I invited people out and didn't share that discount.

Again, I don't expect the majority of people to agree. But I can still he a bit disappointed.

I have plenty of money. It isn't a flex (as the kids say)

But I am not sharing the gift cards from my loved ones. It is how they show their love and I am not sharing.

Nothing mortifying about it.

LOL, you know 'magnanimous' people don't go round judging other less magnanimous people and cutting them off their lives? Ah, some people 😂

That was her clarifying it, it was a gift voucher, not a discount code.

I'd use the voucher to deduct money from the whole bill because I'm not a miserable, tight fisted c#nt, and I was out with my friends. Out of order, shite, embarrassing behaviour from the OP's 'friends', and I wouldn't go out with them again.

😂

anyone else remembers Joey from Friends discovering the thesaurus on his computer?

The friends should have gone by themselves if they didn't want to share the voucher. Just using it for their own half after inviting others to join them was very crass.

It's so weird
I get you wouldn't want to do that for your own reasons,
but why would you begrudge them to pay however they want?
It's their money, their voucher!

😂😂😂

By voucher you clearly mean a gift voucher they probably got from a friend or rele for their bday or christmas, not a 20% off voucher. I wouldn't view them using their gift voucher their rele sent them any different to cash, if you got a cash gift off your aunty for your bday the week before you wouldn't spend it on their meal would you because it's nice to share, it's no different here. They paid with their gift card, rather than cash.

Did your friend choose the restaurant? I wouldn't be thrilled at the idea that she'd picked it in order to use her voucher without giving you a heads up, rather than choosing in the interests of the whole group. I also think it's a bit off to use hers on herself if you previously shared.

I can see all the arguments about why it's the same as cash but the whole thing is a bit graceless.

How often do you get vouchers? I’ve only ever had a gift voucher, and if I had that I would think it was a gift to me and use it for my share.

It would depend for me whether it was say something which was a gift from another person or you got a voucher say, from a magazine etc or were offered a special deal by the restaurant on opening. For example we went early doors for a meal at our local pub when new people took it over and the food was great but the service a bit disorganised. They gave us a sheaf of £10 off vouchers. We distributed some to friends and family and used one or two when we went there with family/friends and took off off the whole bill.

A gift card I just don't think I'd use when out with friends or family to avoid the awkwardness and would wait until it was just DH and me or something.

No I would not expect them to use a gift card on my meal and I wouldn’t expect them to pull the same amount out of their wallet and put it towards my total either. Gift cards are no different from cash imo.

So much passion 😂

I don’t think they did anything wrong as a monetary voucher should just be treated as cash unless they choose otherwise.

the only slight difference here is that you previously used a voucher on them but maybe they didn’t realise or it wasn’t for a similar amount.

I think how mortified/shocked you are and how tight you think they are is disproportionate to the situation. I actually think it’s more mortifying that you expect to be able to use their voucher. You are coming across as a bit grabby here.

you were willing to pay the amount you did before you knew they had a voucher, the voucher doesn’t change that (it’s just like cash).

I wouldn’t expect my friend to use their voucher/gift card on me because I am not grabby

Not grabby? My friends and I do it all the time with each other. I guess we're a different generation, and possibly a different mindset. If we build up any Tesco points or have a Groupon (or whatever the equivalent is now) or gift cards or vouchers, of course, we use it to make everyone's night a bit cheaper and more manageable.

It is declassé to complain to all and sundry because a friend failed to return a favour, for it recasts your previous generosity as nothing of the sort, but merely a self-serving transactional move on your part.

I cannot imagine our late dear Queen carrying on like this.

So basically you wanted them to give you fifty quid?

I think it could be reasonable behaviour. The question of whether it's a gift card or cash is a complete red herring. Whether the OP's friends' behaviour is reasonable or not completely depends on other factors.

When I go out for a meal with friends we usually all pay our way. Occasionally someone might invite others along and treat them to their meal for some reason - e.g., because they've had an unexpected windfall and want to share their good fortune or as a gift on a special occasion. This doesn't create an obligation on the other person to reciprocate. If it did then it wouldn't be a meaningful gift.

All of these considerations are independent of the form of payment they choose to use when they come to pay the bill or their share of it.

😂👏

There’s nothing wrong with doing it. It’s a nice gesture to a friend and I am not saying I wouldn’t. to be honest I probably would use it between us or save for another time. But I wouldn’t expect it or think badly of them if they don’t.

so when your friends received gift cards for meals/ nights away/ experience etc as a wedding present, you expect them to share that with you too?