AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Why? Why on earth would you be embarrassed? As a perceptive poster put up above would you be embarrassed to use a gift voucher if you were out shopping with someone?

Or put it this way, would you be embarrassed to just pay your amount in a restaurant and not pay for your friends if you were paying by cash? If not what's the difference?

I'd be mortified for myself if I didn't share it. I wouldn't be on anyone else's behalf. Just a bit surprised.

Whoever gave me the gift would never know. It's absolutely no skin off their nose.

You aren't paying less. You are paying the full amount using different sources of your own money. There is no difference between getting given £50 and using that to pay for a meal, I assume you would share this idental situation and give them £25?

Only the percentage reduction results in anyone paying less

We need a new topic called EAWM (Everyone Agree With Me). No point asking AIBU if you have zero doubt that you're being reasonable.

I mean, I wouldnt do it, but I also wouldnt behave like such a drama llama, banging on about how 'mortified' I was, like you are. Dont you have much empathy? Lots of people are struggling with money lately.

Unless they agreed to treat you and then backed out, their using the gift voucher is the same as using cash / a credit card. A percentage off should obviously be applied to the whole meal, but if just a gift card, why were you expecting it to be used on you?

I think it was tight of them.

She did use the voucher for both of you and then split the rest

you needed to bring up about the petrol

so your expectation was that you wouldn’t pay anything….i get it now

I am paying less. I am paying £100 less because someone else has paid £100 on my behalf by giving me a voucher.

This is how I see it. I have said repeatedly I don't expect others to feel the same

Not saying it is any 'skin off their nose', just that the likely intention when they bought that voucher was that the recipient gets the entire amount.

The CF on this thread are yet to reply

If I intend to spend the cash my mum gave me for my birthday , as opposed to a gift voucher, am I supposed to disclose this information in advance at time of booking too? And share my birthday money?

I can't believe how offended and "mortified" people can get on here about having to pay their fair share 😂

Apparently so.... 🙄

If they have a gift card it's no different to them paying by cash. Why do you object to paying for the food and drink you ordered and ate?

I don't see the relevance. If you have opinions on how people chose to spend your gift don't get them that kind of gift

You had £100 worth of value for this restaurant no differennt than money is worth there. You could even sell it or pass it on if you wanted to. And the restaurant got the full amount. Nobody has paid less, you got rid of £100 of value you owned, restaurant got paid everything it charges.

Only percentage results in a reduction, and is universal for both parties without impacting either.

Completely agree! I'm "dying of second hand mortification" for the OP, very grabby indeed. I don't imagine they'll ask to go again either as I can't imagine she hid her feelings all that well!

She actually didn't. She just inferred with an example without stating the situation clearly. I agree with the OP that it might have been better for the other couple to just have gone by themselves, but the most inappropriate thing on the thread is all of the hyperbolic 'mortified for them' nonsense from the OP. It's ridiculous.

If it was a gift voucher it is exactly the same as cash, I can’t see that there is a problem.

1. So my mum gave me cash for Christmas and suggested I treat myself to a nice meal.
   I invited some friends out, we all had a good time. We split the bill and I paid my share with cash my mum ear marked for a meal for me.

2. So my mum gave me a restaurant gift card for Christmas so I could treat myself to a nice meal.
   I invited some friends out, we all had a good time. We split the bill and I paid my share with the gift card my mum gave me.

What's the difference, I don't get it.

You sound like you need therapy. All this embarrassment and mortification on other people's behalf sounds like a terrible way to live.

If I invite someone to a meal and I've also chosen the location I will assume I'm paying the lot. (There's a difference between an outright invitation and a mutual discussion about where we should go).

I wouldn't object to paying half the bill in the opposite situation but if a voucher came out for 'their half' eyebrows would be raised.

I'd raise an internal eyebrow if these were people who regularly partook in others' generosity but chose not to return it in a situation like this. But I wouldn't be outraged/shocked either.

Having read all the OPs posts, I still can't work out what sort of voucher it was. She gave an example of how a calculation might work, but (to me) that didn't clarify things.

Is anyone prepared to help me out?

Right, so you both paid £135. I think the problem might be op I’m afraid that you’re not very good at understanding other peoples ways of thinking. It is perfectly acceptable to use your own £100 voucher as £100 cash for yourself. There is nothing stingy whatsoever about it. The problem is just that you can’t understand it. And that is a you problem.

It’s graceless behaviour. It prioritises self interest over à sense of shared experience, so it’s ugly behaviour.

in the current world, graceless thoughtlessness that is justified by cold logic rather than heart centred connectedness is essentially destroying relationships, incrementally.