AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Ignore - I see it wasn’t t that.

Were you happy to split the bill? You weren't expecting them to pay for you I presume?

If so, what does it matter to you how they paid for their half.

I really don't get the problem.

@Dinnerdrama
If they had been given a gift of £100 in an envelope or by Bank transfer would you have expected them to give you £50 of it towards your bill?

Is it a restaurant you would normally go to, and can afford? I think you should have been told if they had said , for e.g. We're taking advantage of a gift from MIL to visit this restaurant because we have a voucher towards our meal , let us know if you fancy joining us - that would have been better.

Their voucher was just a way for them to pay their share - not sure why you are so very up in a heap about it.

It wouldn't go down well with me either. That's just classless and I would be reluctant to go out with them again - especially as you say you had a similar situation with them before and shared the voucher!

You haven't explained why you think that this voucher is any different at all than them using cash.

It was a monetary voucher.

If they'd cut a 20% off voucher out of a magazine or something then it would be different.

The fact that it was a £100 gift voucher that they had presumably received from a friend or family member changes things. It's no different at all to them contributing cash.

If it was a gift voucher then clearly it doesn’t need to be shared but it’s a bit gauche to go out with others if you’re going to be paying with it. If it’s a % off the bill type voucher it doesn’t matter, it’s off the whole bill. With a £XXX off voucher you’ve downloaded then I’d bung it in the pot towards the whole bill and share the discount. I don’t think it’s been properly clarified here which type of voucher it was, i.e. was it free to begin with?

This is a very odd thing to get annoyed about.

if you went shopping with a friend and you both had items in your basket and your friend had a gift voucher would you expect her to give you half towards your basket?

I think you are the cheeky fucker actually, expecting them to share a cash voucher. How odd.

So funny the amount of people who think it’s mortifying, crass or impolite for someone to pay for their half of the bill with a discount but don’t think expecting that gift card to be spent on you is mortifying, entitled or crass? It’s not a voucher, someone at some point has paid £100 for that gift card and given it to OPs friend to spend on themselves and yet so many of you think you’re entitled to half of that? Crazy

I don't know how clearer I can be. I don't see it the same as cash at all.

If I got a £100 voucher/gift card for Bob's Restaurant I would view that as £100 off a future bill at Bob's Restaurant. If I invited people to go to Bob's Restaurant with me I cannot fathom not sharing that £100 off the bill.

Others see it as if it is just £100 cash in their hand that they happen to be tied to spending somewhere specific.

I don't think either view is "wrong" and I wouldn't expect anyone to share mine. I do think the argument is unlikely to change either opinion.

Did you skip the part of my comment where I said I treat my friends without an expectation of return?

Wouldn’t bother me. You’re not any worse off than if they were using cash and splitting the bill. It’s not like they didn’t bring anything else and left you to pick up their £35 voucher shortfall.

If the difference was fairly negligible I’d think it a bit petty, but in the situation you’ve described I think it’s more cheeky that you expected them to pay £85 rather than £35 when it was their gift card so you could have a cheaper dinner

I'm surprised about that, too.

I agree, it is rather crass.

If I wanted to use the voucher for just my food, I would go for dinner as a couple. I would be embarrassed to use it in a group situation.

OP, maybe just think of it as a different way of paying. They paid part by voucher and part by card.

What if you went for the meal with 10 other people?

That voucher that you had received from a thoughtful friend/ family member would actually be spent on loads of other people, and you'd get a tenner off your meal.

If I was the person who gifted you that thinking I was spending £100 on you, I would be pretty shocked you had used it in that way.

The person who gives you a £100 gift card likely wants you to use it to pay your bill, for your food.

Because it’s not a freebie, it’s a £100 gift. And if you would share that then you’re very generous, but if your friend had a gift card and you were mortified and questioned your friendship with them because they used it for themselves, as the giver intended then that would be very entitled

It's not obvious. You should answer. It makes a huge difference.

I don't give gifts with any ties. Up to the recipient how they spend it.

Yes if I went out with 10 people I would do the same. If I didn't want to share then I would go there another time just with DH

Isn't it funny how different we all are.

For example, it would have been unthinkable to me to not have an open bar at my wedding, instead of one where my guests pay for their drinks.

But my 150e spa gift card is mine to spend on myself - as it was a gift to me from my young dds.

People see generosity and sharing differently I guess.

Once again, what's the difference over them paying with money?

Yes it is up to them, but the likely intention was that they'd spend it on themselves, especially with a gift as big as £100.

It's certainly strange to be mortified that they didn't.

Alternatively they should at least have declared what they were about to do before booking.

I never "spit my tea out" laughing but this thread is a work of art 😂😂😂

She answered ages ago!

So do I so not sure why your posting me

I’m trying to imagine it as I very rarely have vouchers for restaurants.

As you said you had previously had dinner with them and had a voucher yourselves they you deducted from the total bill, they should remember that and do the same. Very obvious.

If that hadn’t been the case I’m just not sure. I don’t quibble about exact splits of bills but I can also see the argument that the voucher is simply a replacement for money and so each party using whatever form of money they have to pay with is fine.

But a voucher isn’t really money. It feels more intangible like something you’re lucky to have, like a gift, and therefore would be more likely to share in a group situation, rather than cold hard cash you had to go to work to earn. But I do see the other side that it is just a form of money. They could have been refunded a meal they’d paid for but didn’t receive and got a voucher for that and so it’s not a gift, it’s the same as money.

The other issue however is they invited you to this restaurant that you may well not have chosen had they not invited you, because either you’d have chosen a cheaper one or chosen not to go out for dinner that night, and so they increased the price you had to pay for food and all because they had a voucher, which feels very sneaky and self-serving if this is what happened.