About relative insisting on splitting the bill?

[Beachdays13]

Where do people stand on splitting the bill? Because I’m not sure if I’m being the tight one here.

I have a relative and when we go out for meals he always insists on splitting the bill between everyone. I’ll explain a couple of the scenarios.

So once we went for a meal, there was around 10 people. I was pregnant so not drinking and had my (then 4yo) ds with me. Ds didn’t have his own meal he just shared a bit of mine and my husbands food.

A lot of people had a few alcohol drinks each, starters, sides. At the end of the meal relative announced we would split the bill equally including for my ds who hadn’t even had his own meal. It was a birthday so I felt I didn’t want to ruin the mood by saying no.

A few years later another birthday meal. Dh and I went without our children. We didn’t have drinks or starters, I actually ended up sharing half of my food with my niece because her parents ask if she could share. I didn’t mind because she was being fussy and I know how it can be with kids.

Once again most people had alcohol, starters etc. relative announces that we will split the bill equally, including niece. My nieces parent then pipes up that niece didn’t have anything, but didn’t offer to cover some of my bill. So I ended up paying an equal share even though I had half a meal and a soft drink.

I know I could speak up but this relative doesn’t ask he just announces.

Aibu to think they all sound like cheeky fuckers?

Announce it when you sit down to eat or as you order. You’ll probably find that you’re not the only ones who wants to pay for their own meals and not split the bill

places Can do separate bills these days. So suggest that when the waiter comes over.

No one else ever complains but literally your relative spoke up and said your niece didn’t have a meal?

I've voted yabu as who died and made him King of dining out decisions???

Should do what I do I'm those situations, put down what I've eaten/drank and fuck the rest.

It isn’t going to change unless you change it. When you place orders, ask the waiter/ waitress to make a separate bill for your family as you will pay separately.

You need to speak to the relative before the meal. Get it agreed in advance

Places where you order with an app have made it so much easier for everyone to pay their own way.

I didn't like it at first but I'm quite keen now.

Time to start using this to your advantage.. it’s going to happen so start ordering the starter, good meal etc

I agree that niece’s parents should have either paid for her to have a portion of what you had or ordered something non spicy themselves. I would only go out with them in future if the bill was split properly. The overassertive bloke is probably benefiting from not paying for the full cost of his meal. If other people don’t like you speaking up for yourself tough.

The person who spends the least at the meal should decide the bill.

The same way neices parents said neice didnt have food you can say you didnt have drinks

I’m a teetotaller and if I’m in a group for dinner or drinks I always make it clear from the offset that I’ll only be paying for what I order. I make sure I know how much it costs, add on 20% for the tip and that is all I pay. I was stung so many times I just won’t do it anymore …

I put yabu because it’s happened a few times and you’ve let it go so he probably thinks it’s ok.

You won’t look tight. He will look tight: you are subsidising him!!