To think marrying someone who has already been married and divorced 3 times is a very, very bad idea

[MargoLivebetter]

I saw that Earl Spencer was on the front pages of some of the papers today for marrying a 4th wife.

AIBU to think that it is probably very unwise to marry someone who has already been married and divorced 3 times? Just that. Not even thinking about all the other stories that whirl around this particular individual but just the very fact that if you have been married and divorced 3 times that seems like a giant whale sized red flag to me.

Maybe I'm missing the romance of it all - or maybe not!

I wouldn’t marry someone who had already been married three times, no. Or even three or two times. I don’t think I’d even marry someone who had been married once before.

That's not three divorces though. That's only two.

There’s a quote from Pride and Prejudice that I would paraphrase as “one would tolerate a great deal to be mistress of Pemberley”.

Substite Pemberley for Althorp and Spencer House, plus being THE Countess Spencer, and “one” can see the possible attraction.

Children/ ex spouses.

Are you quite young? I can understand feeling that way if so.

They were due to your husbands being dreadful, though. I would be much more suspicious of a man that had been divorced three times than a woman.

Pilgrim lady Yes he was abused by a female member of staff at School.She had been abusing him and several other boys as well

Marrying a thrice divorced plumber may be a bad idea, but Princess Di little bro? I am sure he is fighting them off, no? Shedloads of money, fame, Lady Spencer title? Obviously it is not a real marriage, but a project for the new lady?

I agree. I would never marry a man with three ex wives. It would mean, at a minimum, he does not value marriage the way I do.

I am DH's third wife. The first he married as a late teen. The second he married and separated within a year then divorced as soon as legally able in his 40s. We met when he was 50 and have been married 24 years.

I feel a natural sceptism about multiple marriages- until I recall it is our story also! (I've been married only once).

Lots of people are talking about their happy third marriages, but that's not what the OP is asking about. If you're on your third marriage, you've only been divorced twice. She asked about people who have been divorced three times.

I would draw that conclusion about a man, but not necessarily about a woman. Men are much more badly behaved in marriage than women are, between drugs, alcohol, cheating, and not pulling their weight at home but leaving the lion's share to the wife. A woman who's had three divorces is very likely to have had at LEAST one be because he cheated or left her.

My partner's (widowed) father who is in his eighties has a female friend of a similar age who has been married four times. Three deaths, one divorce. We tease him that she's got her eye on him being husband number five, he does a comedic shudder. We privately call her Susan The Eighth 😀

I'm amused by the idea I 'lowered myself' to marry a 3 times divorced man, who has been nothing but faithful, loving and financially honest. He's very ill now (v fit and well when I met him, it happens) and as I said upthread, I have no regrets other than we won't have more years together.

I'm not sure someone who serially lives with people and won't commit to marriage is actually preferable to someone who has enough faith in it to keep trying.

Yes, and he was really young. There was no way he'd have had a clue what was going on. Poor kid. She was really predatory.

Boarding schools should be bloody banned. What greater magnet could there be for paedophiles? As history shows.

He might be living his best life
But what about his wife(poor woman).

This thread is surprising. I don't know anyone who been married more than twice.

I wouldn't marry a man who has been divorced more than once. I couldn't not consider it a red flag.

I don't know. A friend of mine became someone's third wife, they've been very happy for twenty years and still are.

Maybe it's 4th time lucky

But that's someone who's only been divorced twice, not three times.

I know a woman (went to school with her) that by 30 was on her 5th husband, it didn’t last by all accounts… main reason for keeping my facebook account is to get this kind of gossip

Also everyone who’s posted that is happy on their current 3rd or 4th marriage.

Pessimistically I’m sure at times you’d of posted happy on your 1st, 2nd, 3rd ones till they failed also 😅

We need 4th marriages where the other person died for the till death do us 🤣

I was my ex wifes second husband - she was 31 when we married

Since our divorce she hasnt remarried but I think its only because she cant get them to stay around long enough.

One co-habitation lasted three weeks

Given her behaviour its not surprising

If she had a car visor with her name on it the partner would be a bus destination screen so it could be changed at the flick of a switch.

I know a very close friend of earl Spencer… they went to school together. They are both incredibly charming and good fun and there is plenty of family wealth… but they also disgracefully cheat on every woman they’ve ever been with. I don’t see him changing this time around.

One of my family members has been married to her fourth husband for about 30 years now, and has terminal cancer.

They’ve been so happy together. I feel incredibly sad for him, but happy that they eventually found each other.