To think marrying someone who has already been married and divorced 3 times is a very, very bad idea

[MargoLivebetter]

I saw that Earl Spencer was on the front pages of some of the papers today for marrying a 4th wife.

AIBU to think that it is probably very unwise to marry someone who has already been married and divorced 3 times? Just that. Not even thinking about all the other stories that whirl around this particular individual but just the very fact that if you have been married and divorced 3 times that seems like a giant whale sized red flag to me.

Maybe I'm missing the romance of it all - or maybe not!

I know someone who is on their 4th marriage, and its by far the longest.

I imagine the chance to call yourself "Lady" even if you are the 4th in line to be called Lady Spencer is probably just too tempting to refuse.

Probably has the last wedding cake in the freezer.

My mother was married 5 times. Never ever understood how the last 3 thought they'd be the "one"

Is he really 😳

I was once engaged to be someone's 4th wife.
Fortunately I thought better of it.
That and the 24 year age gap just wasn't saying "sensible plan" to me.

Apparently, at his third wedding, his sister's husband asked where "season ticket holders" should sit!

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. This time around we are here to celebrate Mr 5th wedding and the New Mrs 5th wedding.

Now I’m sure you’ve all heard my material about the groom many times before 😅 and those that haven’t just ask around, so here’s to this one 🥂 or I’ll catch you at the next 😉

Ffs that's horrendous.

I wouldn't be able to get past what he did to Victoria. There is no way in Hell that can be reframed other than he was a giant douche. And douches always be douching. But anyway, congratulations to the happy couple until the next one comes along

But that hasn't stopped him from persuading 1,2,3, 4 women to marry him.

My FIL was married 3 times, he should have married a 4th time to his long term partner, they were the best match of the lot she was very good for him, supported him becoming sober and took no nonense from him. They were very happy together.
What helped was they were mature / in their 60s when they got together. They had had a relationship together previously when they were in their 40s which ended when FIL left her for his 3rd wife ( god knows why she agreed to get back with him! ) They ( well he!) was at a different time of life, perhaps his philandering opportunities were becoming narrower...he ( like Earl Spencee) also had had a very difficult traumatic childhood inc abuse at boarding school.
However if my daughter married a much older man who had been married 3 times already and doesnt have a good relationship with his existing children i would be very concerned.
I guess even an intelligent woman may be attracted in marrying an older multi millionaire Earl with a stately home whose been married 3 times before .
But maybe he has had therapy and is in a better place. I hope they will be happy together. Hope over experience and all that..

I’m wife no.3 and we are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this year.

I always think his mother gets a bad rap.
There were rumours apparently that there was domestic violence and she really wanted to bring the children with her, but back in the day the odds were stacked against her. The aristocracy closed ranks. Her mother ( who loved that her daughter had married an Earl ) spoke against her in court.
I think Sarah and Jane know the real story and if their mother was wronged that some day they would feel able to speak about it.
I’m glad that Lady Glenconner spoke out about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband Colin Tennant.
But she waited til he was dead.
So he “got away with it” in a way.
He didn’t have to answer very difficult questions and treated her horribly in relation to his will.

I know men that have done this, married a thrice divorced woman. It is mind boggling to me, especially when it's their first marriage.

The failure rate of 2nd marriages being higher than first has surprised me. Presumed people would have a better idea of how to make a marriage work. I must be naive

I would suggest based on experience that a lot of people are divorced for good reason and dont change on subsequent marriages, my ex being a case to point

I also think that once someone has divorced and survived, one gets braver if the next spouse starts behaving badly, in the knowledge that divorce isn't the worst thing to happen to someone. Some people who have never divorced are perhaps scared of doing so, and therefore some suffer in silence. You see it on here all the time.

I’d find someone who has been divorced twice a red flag tbh. Maybe not enough to not have a relationship with them, but I’m certainly not willing to be wife number 3.

Bess of Hardwick was a rich and happy widow. Very, very rich. Back in the day, it was common to be married at least 3 times. It was the "old divorce".

He just doesn’t learn that telling your wife how to “eat well for less” leads to divorce.