To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

[harvestingsomewarmth]

I know it’s his son too and he can call him what he likes but after months of carefully choosing the perfect name together which also has its own well known abbreviation I do feel a little miffed that he has taken to calling him by the first letter of his name.
The letter is also commonly a shortening of a completely different name altogether.

I have an Oliver and I call him Ol or Ollieos (like Cherrios)

I knew it was going to be J. DD’s name is Jemima and a lot of people call her J. Her best friend inexplicably calls her JJ, despite these not being her initials! One of my best friends has a name that starts with J and a lot of people also call her J. It seems to be something that happens with J names.

Completely out of the blue and knowing how much I objected to it,
my sister addressed my children as ‘pet’ which she knew I hated,
not being a Geordie, although I never said anything

my children by early teens told her themselves how awful it sounded

Initials as a name is so American - we have a BB, JC, OG, KK (Kiki)
two distant cousins I don’t know their ‘proper names’ anyway -

as long as baby is not ignored he will be fine

You can call your son whatever you like and so can your husband. It’s really not up to you to police your DH’s use of a nickname. Seriously. Your baby is so little, he will no doubt acquire dozens of nicknames. Relax and don’t stress about this non-issue.

You really don’t want to end up like the mother of a friend of mine. He always went by Rob but if anyone referred to him that way in his mother’s presence, she would declare, “My son’s name is Robert.” 😅 He was an adult who could choose his preferred name.

My husband calls our adult son Bradley. His name isn’t Bradley. But someone called him that mistakenly when he was 10 and it really annoyed him, so dh thought it would be hilarious to carry it on. It’s now 13 years later and he’s still Bradley. Even in birthday cards. I saw one of dh collegues in Tesco once and she asked about how “Bradley” was getting on in his new job 🤣

I rarely call any of my 3 their real names. It’s a variety of things, mostly not in any way connected to their names.

Does it really matter?

That would not bother me at all. We have all kinds of variations on our kids names.

It's fine for your DH to use a nickname. These things evolve over time. I called my son Bear although I try not to now he is 19! When referring to him in texts to his dad I would use his initial and occasionally I do use the shortened version of his name (as do some of his friends) but mostly he gets his full name from me. I made a point of choosing a name where I was happy with the full name, shortened name or initials (and sounded ok with our surname or being shouted from another room)! His uncle always called him by his initials (of his first name and middle name) and he is the only one who did this. All completely fine.

Has he been watching Gossip Girl?

Seriously, using the initial is quite popular/normal/standard. As long as your husband isn't introducing your son to other people as "Jay", it's probably minimal impact.

My sister was "B" all through secondary school; all of her friends routinely used first initials for each other. She thought it was funny when someone assumed it was "Bea" for Beatrice/Beatrix, since those were considered old fashioned names at the time. (I felt sorry for her friend Penelope.)

Even worse are the dimwits on fbook only calling their kid D or M to “protect their privacy”. Fuck sake, stop posting about them then.

Perhaps there are throngs of adoring but long-distance family and friends who do need to be kept fully updated on the doings of Donatella and Mehitabel but don't have time to call or email? In that case it's quite right to preserve the sushi-eaters' privacy through clever pseudonyms decipherable only by those "in the know". Dee and Em will do nicely for the hoi polloi.

If it helps, the nicknames/abbreviation that we called our children when they were babies, didn't last. The ones we used when they were upper primary school, did.

Nah, J is fine. And also not really up to you. You have no more say than your DH over what nicknames your son gets.

J - I'd assume Jay or James as would more expect Jo.

If it really bothers you talk to your DH - but honestly people do werid things with names.

We've had people insist on wrong prounications - adding extra bits to the name as they assume it's another longer one - telling us off for adding common ie sound to end of girls name which TBF is a name now in it's own right - but it's odd to interfer in family interactions. Oddest one was group where they added extra letters to name to make is sound like lore in a film series and then picked a character from that for our kids name - and our child didn't like it.

Names do change - I have random names for all of them - plus for two name DS and one daughter we added ie sound to end of it automaically but stopped that during their teens years naturally as they got older.

I have a Speedy (F) , Wigglet (M) and C-Dog (M) all nicknames picked by their friends at school. They are still calling each other those names, they are 37, 36 and 32 LOL.

i know 3 guys called J or Jay.
They're Jason, Joseph & Joshua, but all of them prefer Jay.

I have nicknames for both my teenagers, and i have a nickname that all my friends use that is not even vaguely related to my actual name.

Let it go.

My mother had a pet name for me (a variation of my middle name) but no one rose called me that. It was fine and a nice thing between us. I do cringe a bit when Meghan refers to Harry as ‘H’ though. It sounds pretentious.

I've always called my son by his initial along with other various shortenings or nick names.

Well, there's bigger things to worry about IMO.

Fwiw we call our kids allsorts depending on the day and what cokes into my brain.

Fartypants
Ticklepig
Ikkybikkyboo
Roo
Roobear
Roobydooby
Sizzle Von Tizzle
Pocket rocket
Cheese basket
Shizzle McDizzle

None are even close to their actual names 🤣🤣🤣

And oddly, they all seem to know who I'm talking to.

Yes, this. He's actually allowed to develop his own relationship with his child.

it sounds diminishing

Once the child goes to school he will probably have a nickname. It's impossible to police what other people call your children. Nor should you unless it's rude or offensive.
The baby's father has a perfect right to call his child by a nickname he likes.

You can't really legislate for what others call your child. You might have handpicked the most beautiful and befitting name, and it's galling to hear them called something completely different, but that's nicknames and shortenings for you!

My youngest daughter has a lovely name which is only used in formal settings. Her sisters call her something else, her brothers use a different shortening, her friends call her something that isn't even vaguely related and I call her by a nickname from when she was a baby. I'm surprised she hasn't grown up with an identity crisis but, at thirty, she seems to know her name...

Spent months choosing the perfect name..

OP with respect you are being over precious about this and making it something or not.

DC is going to get called a variety of nicknames over the years

My sister and her husband call their daughter Bob, not in the slightest bit anything like her name , but when she was pregnant she nicknamed ‘ baby bob ‘ and its still stuck - she’s 7 😂

Lighten up, for Heaven's Sake.. Does your hubby leave his socks on the bedroom floor or leave the toilet seat up as well?

When I was pregnant, I had a silly nickname for my daughter. After she was born I referred to her by the initials of the silly nickname. My partner started using her actual initials. After a while, we both called everyone in the family by their initials, including the dog. Now I either use her initials, the shortened version of her name or else sweetheart.

I call one of mine Fat Face or often just Facey, I'm glad I'm not alone 😂