To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

[harvestingsomewarmth]

I know it’s his son too and he can call him what he likes but after months of carefully choosing the perfect name together which also has its own well known abbreviation I do feel a little miffed that he has taken to calling him by the first letter of his name.
The letter is also commonly a shortening of a completely different name altogether.

How old is your son? We called our second son J-dribble for months but once he could talk and understand we called him by his name. We called our first “the shark” for a period as well.

He’s 8 weeks.

Trying to be kind because you are in for a long ride

Your husband giving a nickname/ using an initial is a sign of bonding. It means he cares. As he should. Concentrate on that.

He's the one who jointly chose the name, so there's no judgement on his part - not like unwanted opinion from in-laws.

Lucky you didn't call him after that French comic character 'Asterix' as I suppose DH might have called him '*'

So i have a beautiful daughter with a beautiful name and shes get called Dave... Not that she wants to be a boy she loves being a girl... she even gets Davit.. not david but Davit.. So i think J maybe ok, my son also has a J name but his name is made longer (Mainly by me).. and i would never have called him the longer version but it has stuck..

It’s lovely he has his own special name for him. Are you jealous? Why does it bother you?

My son is called Kevin Pierce. I wanted him called by both names but he quickly ended up being called KP by everyone, apart from me.

It's irritating but I don't think there is much you can do about it.

I hoped my son would correct the wrong doers himself as he got older but that never happened either!

I don't think I'd use Joe for a small child. I might have once used Joey, but if you're of my generation, you can't do that.

I think he should follow the poster above and call him J-Dog 😀

Meant kindly - but it's a bit worrying that you're criticising your DH so early in the stages of having a child together, and over something that could also be viewed as a very positive thing: that your DH feels like he's building a special relationship with his DS and has a little nickname with him. You've both named him together and he has his name, but nicknames are fun! They also don't always stick around forever. My DH and I love our children's names but both have little nicknames for them as well. It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by it unless he was actually calling our child something offensive!

My son is called Joseph and I wouldn't like this either! Joey, Joe, Joe Joe are all from this name but like you say J is Jay or James. Have you spoken to DH about it? If he's using it all the time people might start calling him J too

Except the person in question is the child’s father who should perhaps have equal say in naming his child 😬

fair enough, its' her child. What business is it of anyone else to change the name.

In this instance, it's the parent!

I used to call my child by the first letter of his name until he told me very firmly “I am not a letter!”. That was the end of that.

He does have equal say. But maybe he doesn't know it bothers OP and maybe he wouldn't mind stopping. If I was calling DS something DH didn't like I'd want him to tell me. If calling him J wasn't too special to me I would stop

I have an H friend of the family started it and it never stopped

We chose our daughters name because the full version has many possibilities to shorten it (gives her options in the future should she want to change it up) and we specifically liked one of the shorter versions, which we usually call her.

She prefers the full name, and introduces herself as that so most people call her that now.

We spent MONTHS trying to find what we loved, should I be annoyed she wants to go by different to what we wanted?

Nope.

As soon as your child is at school or nursery and mixing with others, any control over what your child is called goes out of the window. the kids will call him other things, he will call himself other things, as he goes through school. he will pick up nicknames and or decide to change his own name. Get over yourself.

We named our daughter a lovely name but it felt too ‘big’ for a baby. It begins with a B so she was ‘Bee’ a lot when she was a baby. She’s still occasionally Bee now but more often her actual name. I think you’re really overthinking it, but that’s totally normal at 8w post partum!

J / Jay for Joseph is quite adorable imo.

I don’t think there’s anything you can or should do about this. Nicknames / pet names are such a personal thing.

A lot of kids end up with multiple nicknames. I have always called my child by a different nickname than what I planned to be his nickname before he was born.

Be careful @harvestingsomewarmth - if these non consequential grate on you so much that you undermine your DH you will find your relationship will become affected.

The mental load will fall on you, which may be how you want it while your son is small - control over what he eats, when he sleeps etc and that is understandable - but as they get older you will both fall into the role of you doing the thinking, decision making and him not.
Then resentment builds.

I appreciate this seems far fetched and a huge extrapolation on my part but it’s a death by a thousand paper cuts. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

This.

What you think pre birth is not who they are once they're in this world.

@harvestingsomewarmth try not to cling too much to your idea of him and just enjoy him for who he is now he's here. Joseph, Joe, J...they're all him and for some reason J is what feels right to your husband for him, in the same way Joseph is what feels right for you.

You are so right.

This forum is full of threads with women complaining they deal with everything BUT go in a rage if things are not done exactly the way they demand it to be done, down to the colour of a tshirt.

I am not sure it's genuine, but there's a current thread where an ex is fuming because the father dared taking his 4 year old to a hotel for a nice break. It doesn't matter because she's an ex, but when this kind of mothers is so controlling over her way being the only way, it's recipe for disaster.

Lol my poor DS was rattybag Cant remember why now