To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

[harvestingsomewarmth]

I know it’s his son too and he can call him what he likes but after months of carefully choosing the perfect name together which also has its own well known abbreviation I do feel a little miffed that he has taken to calling him by the first letter of his name.
The letter is also commonly a shortening of a completely different name altogether.

are you serious?

Nothing to do with "poshos", it's very common to hear kids called by their first initial.

It might be people getting used to only use an initial on social media referring to other people's kids, I have no idea, but initials are used a lot.

J is a really common shortening of Joseph. Or any name beginning with J, to be fair.

My husband is called a completely random initial by a group of his friends. No idea why! It's been the case for years now. His name doesn't sound like the letter and the letter doesn't appear in his name at all.

Anyway, nicknames are really personal. If it doesn't bother your son, leave him to it.

if he was calling him "Nigel F", or any controversial nickname, then you would be entitled to be annoyed. An initial? A parent should be able to call their child what they like, as long as said child doesn't hate it.

I call my daughter, who has a very feminine name beginning with Al, Big Al

My sister, Crabs, strongly agrees with them.

I call my son J all the time!

My dad called me W, and my mum J quite a lot. We both liked it, as we only got our full names when he was in a bad mood . 😂

It's fine. I bet a, your little one doesn't give two hoots and b, when he grows up he will think fondly of his dad's nickname. It's all good, honestly, don't worry!

YABU. I call my William Will, Will-Bill, Wee'un, Noodle and Bobbet. Nicknames are part of family life.

'The letter is also a common shortening of another name'?! Well yes, presumably there are hundreds of names that also begin with that letter? Why would it be more associated with any other specific name?

I don't see the issue. That's just his nickname for his kid.

He's allowed to have his own nickname for his son without applying to you for sign off.

We have a grown up "Jacob". As a toddler he was often called "Jakey" by close relatives and people outside the family. At home, as he grew older, he became "Jake". It would not have bothered me at all if my husband had called him "Jay" or "J" at any stage of his childhood.

As long as your husband is a good dad and a loving dad, does it really matter?

Throughout his childhood your baby will likely acquire many diminutives, nicknames and terms of endearment from you, your husband, your wider family and friends. If he has grandparents who sometimes call him "Jo-Jo" - will that irk you, too? He won't grow up not knowing what his given name is.

You can insist that your husband does not call him "J" (or "Jay") but you might find in his teens that his friends call him "J" (or "Jay") and he's OK with that or encourages it.

I think you are unreasonable to attempt to control a non-offensive nickname that he wants to use for his child. You're not in charge.
He would be equally as unreasonable if he tried to insist you also used this nickname.

DH calls our kids 1 and 2 😂.

seriously it’s not a big deal

Our children have upwards of 10 versions of their names that they are called. It's completely normal.

Better than 'Sproggle' which happened to me...
Is this really the only thing irritating you? It sounds harmless.

I think you and your husband are each perfectly entitled to call him whatever you like.

My husband and I each call one of our children by different names. I use her full name. He doesn’t. She (now an adult) is perfectly happy with both.

Similarly I was perfectly happy being called different names by each of my parents and indeed I rather liked it. No-one else ever used the names they did, so those names felt like a unique link between us.

Ian is shortened to E in our house
And my daughter has about 15 nicknames mainly called by her mother..... And changes by the week as she asks me to think of a new one.... But her main nickname is Floppy Bum, or Stinky Malinky Longlegs big banana feet so I think you have got of lightly!!

People lengthen my dogs name. Very funny hearing a complete stranger add a 'Woo' to the end.

My dad called me Swiss growing up and DB was Q.

I am not made of cheese and DBs name is Harry.

on the flip side Mum called me a shortening of my name and DB H

Neither of these were wrong, they were what they individually wanted to call us as a nickname, which was fine! We still get called these and I hope it doesnt stop tbh

Its not about wanting to call him a short version of his name, its about calling him a nickname which can be anything but for you DH and DS happens to be "J"

...after months of carefully choosing the perfect name together...

😂

Sorry OP but you are really overthinking it.

I really dislike it when people are weird about other people's names. I have a friend who will only call her partner his four syllable first name rather than the one syllable diminutive that he prefers

Even if you gave someone a name - once its done its done! You don't get any vague say over what they're called informally from that point on unless you're stepping in to stop bullying

This
It doesn’t matter what you think. Unless it is bothering DS it’s fine.
You do you.

Nah, it’s fine to have his own nn for his child; they have their own relationship.

I call my DC all sorts of things, not always pertaining to their name, and often not what DH calls them.

Trying to think what this name could be!