AIBU to think a 10k in two months is unrealistic?

[LavenderSkies]

A friend of ours is doing a 10k in a few months that’s a fundraiser for brain cancer (he lost his dad to brain cancer last year). Another friend has decided to join him (he’s a cancer survivor himself, not brain cancer though), and they’ve today asked DH to join as well (he lost his mum over Christmas to brain cancer). He’s agreed, but he has less than 2 months to train.

While I think it’s great DH wants to get in shape and support such an important
cause, him thinking he can run 10k in 2 months is absolute insanity to be completely honest. DH hasn’t been a member of a gym in almost 8 years and he doesn’t exercise beyond kicking the footy with the kids (every now and then he decides to start running, goes twice and I don’t hear about it again for 6+ months). These friends are much fitter than he is; the one who signed up first has been training for this since last year, the other is a regular runner. DH is not where either of them are at at all and regularly complains about how unfit he is.

He claims he’ll train but my question is when? He works full time and we have 3 kids, so weekends are pretty full. He and SILs are also in the process of clearing out their mum’s house so they can put it on the market, which is time consuming. He starts work at 7:30am so before work isn’t really an option (he’s not a morning person as it is). He mentioned his way home from work, which would be doable 3 nights of the week (the other 2 nights our kids have sport commitments at the same time in different locations, so we need to divide and conquer). He has a side business that he works on of an evening. And weekends have more kids sport, plus the usual kids runaround and social commitments, plus trying to squeeze in him going to his mum’s. And then there’s the matter that adding something else to his plate at the moment takes away even more time from his kids (or from my time with him if he was to go of an evening after the kids are in bed). I just don’t see how this is possible and feel he’s taking on more than he can chew.

I said I didn’t see how this was going to work and he accused me of being unsupportive. I’m not trying to be unsupportive, but I am trying to be realistic/practical. If he wants to get in shape, great! But maybe start small with a couple of gym sessions a week until he has more capacity. If he wants to run the 10k for his mum, incredible! But maybe aim for next year or a different location later this year so he has time to actually train for it. AIBU to think it’s crazy to attempt a 10k in less than 2 months given these circumstances?

I think your support and encouragement would go a long way here and thats regardless if he does manage to train and/or complete the run. There's nothing to be gained from being right about this.

It’s only for a couple of months. I would be helping him to carve out the time to achieve this. Doable for him I would say with three 30 min runs a week and one weekend run for an hour. Proper warm up and cool down to avoid injury.

Can he train on his lunch break whilst at work? Then that doesn’t eat in to family time, or run as part of his commute home. I wasn’t a morning person but have set the habit of getting out the door at 5:00am for a run as I need to leave for work at 7 - much easier this time of the year as it’s light in the morning by then (assuming you’re in the UK). For a 10k, 30-40 minute runs a couple of times a week, and then one longer run of upto an hour would probably be sufficient to get round on race day. I’d be supportive and try and find ways to fit it in, but he needs to do his part and find a time that reduces impact on family time.

The Nike Run Club app’s suggested 10k training plan is 8 weeks - seems perfectly doable to me and might give him a sense of purpose after losing his mum.

It’s not hard to train for a 10k in 2 months. You do sound unsupportive

To you it is not achievebale because you dont want him to do it

Have him download the C25K app - its great and works through a progressive training schedule that can have him doing at least 5k comfortably in 2 months,

I’ve done some of these types of runs in my life, usually you can alternate walking and running. He’s lost his mum relatively recently. He probably feels the need to do something. This is a time to support him.

I am clearly not a runner myself - it seems I have very much overestimated how much training would be needed for him to achieve this.

@PlugUgly1980 unfortunately not possible for him to train on his lunch break, he only gets a half hour and would need to actually eat plus shower etc (he meets with clients daily so can’t be sweaty and gross). We’re also not in the UK, so coming into winter here. Mornings are freezing and dark, and DH struggles to be out the door on time as it is. He’s never been a morning person and he’s really struggled with his work’s switch to a 7:30am start, so while I’ll suggest morning gym sessions realistically it’s not likely.

Why don’t you let him decide how and when he trains for himself?

It’s a 10k not a marathon, 8 weeks is plenty of time. Surely he has 30-45 mins spare 2-3 times a week…

Why are you being so combative?

I am not a runner - I have already commented that it seems I have really overestimated how much training would be required, so if it’s doable for him to make this happen, great. But at the same time, training needs to fit around his other commitments - work, our children, his mum’s estate.

This is absolutely doable and I would be helping DH work out a plan to make it happen. The c25K app is great. Ultimately, he doesn’t have to run the whole thing, he can interval with running and walking. The fundraising is the important thing and he will get fitter whatever he manages.

I’m not sure why you’re so against it. Are you concerned for his pride, health? Is it the time and you having to do more? If he’s able enough he can walk half of it. Let him worry about whether it’s a bad idea and you just get on with life

YABU. if he used to be a gym goer (did you make him stop that too?), then he will likely have a base level of fitness. 10k is nothing. He could walk it in 2 hours.

If you don't want to support him, fine, but that doesn't mean you actively have to try and find ways to block him.

It's quite common for people to participate in 10k events by walking most of the distance.

It’s only 10k.

And I know that sounds ridiculous but as any runner will tell you, the distance dysphoria kicks in very quickly. I started running a year ago, couldn’t do one lap of the gym car park. I did a 10k after six weeks and a half marathon after six months, and a 1hr ish 10k is a Wednesday morning easy run.

Give him a bit of support. Training is just half an hour to an hour three times a week and will halve his chances of heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and premature death.

I think some people do it but end up walking. Being able to run 10k without stopping is unlikely in two months as a non runner. Most people do the couch to 5k which takes 9 weeks and it’s a hugely successful route into running but obviously half the distance. 10k isn’t easy but particularly for someone who doesn’t run and hasn’t even worked out for almost a decade. I think he’s underestimating it but maybe he could do it in intervals.

I did a 10k road race only yesterday… I’m not especially fit but did it in just under one hour.

If he was thinking of doing a marathon (which I’ve also done) from nothing in two months then I’d agree with you, but unless he has serious health issues then 10k is very doable.

If he runs for 30-45 minutes twice a week over that time, he’ll be fine (I didn’t even do that but I was OK!) and be killing it when it gets to race day. Even if he can’t do that and can only do one run a week in the first month, he’ll be ok.

10k is not a marathon - please stop thinking like it is!, and anyone who’s either neither old nor has a serious underlying health issue should be able to complete a 10k with minimal training over a two month period.

Yeah he'll be fine. Totally doable.

Sorry but you are pretty fit. I’ve been running for years and my 10k time still isn’t quite under an hour, doing a sub hour 10k is hard.

Not against it at all! I’m not (and never have been) a runner, so it seems I’ve severely overestimated how much training would be required and also didn’t realise that walking part of it would be an option. I was worried it’d get to the day, he wouldn’t be ready, and he’d be really upset/frustrated in himself or feel like he was letting his mum down if he couldn’t do it.

Also, I did a 10k in mid-January with barely any training at all after far too much indulging over Christmas (maybe 4-5 short runs in the previous two months - definitely less than one per week on average). I didn’t do a great time but was fine. I’m 50 by the way, so not exactly young any more!

Who peed in your cereal this morning? I couldn’t have rolled my eyes harder at your response 🙄

I think he could do it. As others have said he doesn't have to run the whole way. Lots of people run a bit, walk a bit, including me 🙂. There are loads of apps with training plans for beginners, also if he can fit in walking into his daily schedule that gives a bit of a boost, so can he park away from work and walk the last bit etc etc. He needs a good pair of running shoes.